fulfilment when her moment came.
The sensation was so intense that she closed her eyes for several minutes while her head swam. Her heart was beating violently and she lay still for several minutes as her whole body calmed down. It was like sleeping and yet not sleeping. She was somewhere else, watching herself as if from a distance, wondering if this could be dull little Kelly who’d lost her husband because she bored him.
When she opened her eyes she found Jake had left her and was standing, naked, by the window. For a brief moment she felt abandoned, then something about the tension of his body made her realise that this was different. His head rested against the window frame, and she had just enough of a sideways view to see that his eyes were focused on a far distance deep inside himself.
That in itself was curious. Jake had never been a man for introspection. He’d always said that the outside world kept him fully occupied. Analysing, wondering about himself—these weren’t his style. It had been an article of faith with the young Kelly that her adored Jake wasn’t afraid of anything. Otherwise she might have thought he was afraid to know who he was.
But she couldn’t think of that. Now she was the one who pushed thoughts aside to enjoy the purely physical. She was still suffused with delight from the best sex she’d ever enjoyed, and its glow transformed the world. She leaned back against the pillows, revelling in the sight of Jake’s long, straight back, narrow hips and taut buttocks. There was so much power in those hips, she thought with a little remembering smile: power to drive into her again and again, sending the pleasure mounting to unimaginable heights.
She let her eyes drift over him, lingering on his thighs, lean but muscular, tense with whipcord strength. The brash, eager boy she’d loved had grown into somebody else, just as the Kelly of old had gone for ever. In her place was a woman capable of regarding a man from one simple, basic angle, and sizing him up critically.
And he passed the most critical test, she had to admit, smiling even more broadly.
So far.
For she had more tests in store for him. This was no longer lovemaking, if it had ever been. This was something she’d thought never to experience with Jake—sex for the sake of it. Simple erotic enjoyment with no purpose except sensual delight, and the enjoyment of new experience.
She slipped quietly out of bed and padded across the room until she was just behind him. When she rested her fingers lightly on his back he raised his head, but didn’t turn it. Kelly’s touch drifted softly down the length of his back until it reached the base of his spine, paused for a moment, then continued purposefully. She let her fingers wander where they would, advancing and retreating, feeling his mounting desire, playing with it.
He half turned but she prevented him. ‘No,’ she whispered against the warm skin of his back. ‘I’ll let you know when.’
Her fingers had reached the front and were engaged on skilful work. She could feel that he was ready for her again. Vigorous as his exertions had been, she could bring him back to life, and the knowledge thrilled her.
‘I thought you were still asleep,’ he murmured.
‘Do you still think so?’ she said, pressing herself against him so that he could feel the hard peaks of her nipples against his back.
‘I don’t know what to think. Perhaps you’re a phantom.’
‘Could a phantom do this?’ she asked, making frisky movements across his chest with her fingers. ‘And this?’ she added, enjoying his groan and the way he pressed back against her so that her hands slid down again, found their target, homed in. ‘Or this?’
‘What the devil are you doing?’ he demanded huskily.
‘Proving that I’m no phantom. On the contrary, I’m very, very physical.’
‘You sure as hell are,’ he gasped, relishing the devastating skill that had taken him by surprise. ‘No woman—that I know—could do that!’
‘That’s right—no woman that you know,’ she agreed. Here was the best part of this delightful game. The selves they were tonight had no past and no future. They had come out of nowhere and tomorrow would dissolve into nothing. But tonight they existed, and felt, and burned with desire. It was heady magic.
She wondered how long he would stand there, letting her work on him, and she soon had her answer. With a groan that showed her that she’d got the better of him, he twisted swiftly around and claimed the initiative.
‘Ready for anything?’ he muttered against her lips.
‘I think I could give you a surprise or two.’
But just now he was surprising her, and she was loving it. In their marriage Jake had always been a tender, considerate lover. But now there was nothing tender in his grasp, and not much that was considerate as he pulled her down onto the bed in a way that brooked no argument. He parted her legs and was inside her swiftly, sending fierce waves of piercing heat and light through her. After the first shock she wrapped her legs about him and drove back, as hot and wild as he, and as demanding. She had been made for this, and it was only now that she knew.
After the first fierce drive he made his movements slower, and so did she, so that they teased each other with delay. Kelly was astonished at her own control. It seemed to come from an unexplored region in her, perhaps the same place where grief had lived and endured until finally endurance was too much.
She’d thought she knew her own nature—sedate, modest, long-suffering, but not sparky or adventurous. Now she was astonished to discover a tiny imp of resentment, almost revenge, as though her searing sexuality was telling him, So there!
If so it was reprehensible, but there was no doubt it was giving him something to think about.
When they’d fought each other to a standstill, and he was breathing heavily, he reached swiftly over and switched on the bedside lamp.
‘I want to look at you,’ he said.
At once she rose and knelt on the bed, stretching her arms high so that her small, firm breasts were shown for his delectation. Those lost pounds were a godsend, she thought, as she swayed this way and that, displaying herself to him, as shameless as a wood nymph.
‘Is that what you wanted to see?’ she asked wickedly.
‘It’s more than my best hope. Woman, do you know that you’re not safe?’
She laughed. ‘It’s too late now to be worrying about that!’
‘That is sheer provocation,’ he declared, clasping his hands about her waist, where they almost met.
There was a glint in his eye that was intriguing her more every moment. Glancing down his length, she saw that she’d done him an injustice. Resisting his attempts to toss her onto her back, she moved over him.
‘There’s more than one new experience,’ she teased, easing herself into position and enjoying the shock on his face. ‘Relax, enjoy.’
‘I’d like to know where you learned to do this,’ he growled, gasping a little between words.
She leaned down and whispered softly in his ear. ‘That’s none of your business.’
It was incredible what you could learn from books these days, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. How good it was to feel him inside her in a different way, newly thrilling, an unexpected kind of excitement. And, most wonderful of all, to gaze down on his face, and see by its thunderstruck look that, for once, the ‘little woman’ hadn’t done just as he would have predicted.
At last it was over and she flung herself down beside him, feeling as though she could laugh with the gods.
One thought pervaded her. He might think he’d reclaimed her, but in truth she had reclaimed him, and with him, her freedom.
Now she could let him go.
The room was brilliant with the light of morning, and she