href="#ufa89fed0-4a39-59ce-a199-e14fc8d42eb0">Chapter 12
“I can’t marry you.”
Austin Reynolds jerked his head toward his open office door, where his fiancée, Zoe Davis, stood. He took in her appearance. She was one of those women who never left the house unless she was totally pulled together, and today was no different. But what he didn’t like seeing was the stress lines across her forehead.
“Mom, let me talk to you later,” Austin said into his cell phone, his gaze steady on Zoe. “And yes, I’ll pick up the cake for you after my meeting.” He disconnected and set his cell on the desk.
“Austin, I’m sorry to just burst in here like this, but I can’t—”
“Excuse me,” Beverly, his secretary, said, her hand on the doorknob. “I’m going to close this, if you don’t mind.” She shut the door, not waiting for either of them to respond. Austin had an open-door policy, but he was pretty sure this was going to be one of those conversations he’d prefer to have in private.
Sighing, he wiped his hand over his mouth and down his chin before returning his attention to his fiancée. He walked around his desk, digging deep within himself for patience.
“Why don’t you tell me what this is all about, Zoe?” He draped his arm over her shoulders and guided her to the navy-blue leather sofa that took up a large part of the sitting area in his office.
She set her large Prada bag on the coffee table. “I thought I could go through with this, but I can’t marry you. I can’t be with a man who isn’t in love with me.”
Austin sat next to her. “What are you talking about? We’ve known each other for years. You know I love you. I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I didn’t.”
Clearly frustrated, Zoe let her shoulders droop, and the pensive lines on her forehead reappeared. She sat back on the sofa and crossed her long bare legs, her short dress sliding up slightly, showing off shapely thighs.
“I’m not saying that you don’t love me. I know you do, and I love you, too, but we both know that you’re not in love with me.”
Instead of denying her comment, he asked, “Where is this coming from?”
“I have always felt something was missing between us, but thought... I don’t know what I thought. I guess, after dating for a year, when you asked me to marry you, I was excited. We were finally taking our relationship to the next level. But lately I’ve had my doubts. We’ve been engaged for six months and you won’t agree on a wedding date. It’s clear you’re not ready.”
Austin sat forward, his elbows on his knees as he stared down at the floor. When he had asked Zoe to be his wife, it seemed like the next logical step, but lately he wasn’t so sure.
“Why did you ask me to marry you?” she asked. “What changed? For years, you claimed you weren’t ready for marriage, and then all of a sudden you popped the question. Why?”
He glanced at her over his shoulder. “Because we’re great together. When we went from friends to lovers, you made it clear that you wanted to marry and have a family one day. I felt like I was ready, and I already knew you were ready.”
Zoe moved closer to him and slipped her arm through his, resting her head against his shoulder. “I guess those are good reasons, but you didn’t include the most important thing. Love.”
“I didn’t think I had to mention that again.”
“But you’re not in love with me.”
Austin remained quiet. What could he say? If he had to be honest with himself, she was right. There was a part of himself...a part of his heart that no one would ever be able to claim. But he was in his late twenties and thinking more about his future. He had reached his financial goals and the only thing left to do was get married and have a family. Though he wanted the type of marriage his parents had, he was willing to sacrifice being in love for being with someone he liked. Austin didn’t trust easily, and the fact that he’d let Zoe get this close had been a miracle.
“Most engaged people can’t keep their hands off each other. Yet the last couple of months you’ve been traveling, and when you are home, you’re emotionally unavailable. What am I supposed to think? You have found every excuse to keep me at bay. I wake up thinking about you, and you’re the person I think about before I fall asleep at night. But I have a feeling I’m not the one who consumes your thoughts. Austin, I need more than a chivalrous man trying to do right by me.”
He hesitated. Again, Zoe was right. Despite being ready to settle down and have a family, he didn’t want to do anything to hurt her. He knew now that if they had gone through with this marriage, that’s exactly what would have happened.
“Zoe, I—”
“You don’t have to say anything. You’re an amazing guy and I appreciate your willingness to give up your bachelorhood in order to give me the life I’ve always dreamed of. I know you would make a wonderful husband in some ways, but I need more than you’re willing or able to give.”
She placed her hand on his thigh and his gaze went to that spot. He felt nothing. No tingling. No sparks. Nothing. She was such a beautiful woman inside and out. But he hadn’t touched her intimately in almost two months. Like her, he recognized something had been missing. He just chose to ignore it.
“We were good friends before we got engaged,” Zoe said, interrupting his thoughts. “I hope we can remain friends.”
“Always.” He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead, not surprised at how well she was taking all of this. She was independent, low-key, and he couldn’t even recall ever having an argument with her.
She held the sparkling diamond out to him. As a self-made millionaire who’d made his first million investing in the stock market while attending college, Austin thought by now he’d have a wife and family to shower his wealth on. Instead, he had more money than he could ever spend in a lifetime, a huge house meant to be filled with children and a broken engagement. And the only woman he had ever loved had left him years ago without looking back.
He glanced at the ring again. “Keep it.” He folded her hand around the expensive jewelry and pulled her to him. “I’m sorry...for everything. If you ever need anything, you know all you have to do is call me.”
“I know. But there’s something I have to know.”
“And what’s that?”
“Who is she?”
Austin leaned away from her and frowned. “Who is who?”
“You have suppressed issues that you have never dealt with, and I can’t help but think that they have something to do with a woman in your past. Talk to me. I can—”
“Dammit, Zoe.” He pulled out of the light hold she had on his arm. “The last thing I need right now is for you to try and psychoanalyze me.” He’d been doing enough of that himself, especially over the last few months. As a psychologist, she had tried, more