habits, she would find little need to be abrupt.
“But even as you work on supporting yourself, on striking out on your own—leave room in your heart for love,” Becky added, fanning herself lightly. “I was so certain that love had left me behind that day when Lieutenant Walker jilted me. Now I know that I was made for Paul.”
Nan resisted the urge to roll her eyes. After John’s supposed proposal had gone so hideously awry, she had felt no desire for romance for quite some time. Leave that to the very young and the very pretty. Of which she never felt a part.
Would they ever leave? She shifted slightly on the settee—not that there was that much room—and fought the desire to give way to nervous pacing. As she moved, she caught John’s glance from across the sitting room. The corners of his mouth quirked and he sent her a knowing, bemused grin.
She turned abruptly, knocking Becky’s fan to the floor. “Oh dear,” she muttered, and bent to retrieve it.
“Allow me,” a deep voice answered. How had John managed to cross the room, soundlessly, in less than two seconds? He handed Becky her fan with a flourish and offered Nan his arm.
“I hate to leave Kellridge, as my hosts have been so generous and wonderful,” he added, pulling Nan to her feet. “But the horses are restive and we’ve several miles to go before reaching Grant Park.”
Gratitude surged through Nan, and she allowed herself to look him at him fully for the first time in weeks. “Then by all means, let us go.”
* * *
In truth, John was in no hurry to return to Grant Park. Life at the Park meant taking on the yoke of responsibility that he had no desire to don. It meant ledger books, meetings, servants and crops. It meant living in Father’s shadow. It meant seeing the traces of Mother everywhere, the mother he had disappointed and caused grave danger to all those years ago. These were all matters he had managed to neatly avoid for years, but there was no avoiding them now.
One look at Nan Siddons, miserably squashed between her two sisters, was all he needed to spur him on. Even if he couldn’t have fun, Nan should at least have a go at it. She had been avoiding him for weeks, and her absence was something he actually noticed. This was quite an accomplishment, for a young woman. Usually if one young lady shunned him, there were plenty of others standing in line waiting for his attention.
That was in London, though, and not Derbyshire.
“How far are we from Grant Park?” Nan had been peering out the window of the carriage since they left.
“It’s only an hour and a quarter from Tansley,” he answered, shifting lazily in his seat. If only it was farther.
“Still in Derbyshire?”
“Yes, near Wessington.” He should have told her more about the Park, given her some idea of what she was getting into before she took the leap. He gave himself a good, sharp, mental kick. His sister was absolutely no help, for once Kellridge had faded from sight she moped quietly in her corner and then fell asleep. “The house is very nice. I daresay you’ll like it there. Jane has her own suite of rooms, and we’ll put you in her wing. That way you can be close by for fittings and consultations and whatnot.”
“Thank you, sir.” Nan nodded respectfully.
He stifled a grin. After slapping him, she must be working doubly hard to stay on strictly professional terms.
“Call me John,” he replied easily. “Even if I am forced to be lord of the manor, I hate to be addressed as sir.”
“I don’t know that I can do that.” Nan shrugged, looking stubbornly out the window. “I don’t think that’s quite proper.”
“Nonsense. Call me John, and, of course, you already refer to my sister as Jane.”
“I don’t think I can. Calling Jane by her given name, well, it’s easier because we are friends.” She cast a discomfited look his way. “I’m not trying to be rude.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to tease her, or at least reference how close they had gotten when she slapped his cheek, but he thought better of it. If she was thawing out a trifle, it would be better not to provoke her now. “Well, if you find it difficult, you could just call me Reed.”
Nan tilted her head to one side, as though giving the matter serious thought. “Very well, I think I could call you Reed.”
“Excellent. Shall I call you Siddons?”
Nan burst into laughter, a pretty smile lighting her face. “I daresay that sounds silly enough. But no sillier than Nan.”
“What, don’t you like your name?” It was so good to hear laughter that he was ready to draw the moment out as long as he could. She had a lovely laugh. Pity she didn’t indulge it more often.
“Nan?” She made a face. “No, I never have. I prefer my proper name, but I never had a say in the matter. Once Susannah called me Nan, I was Nan for life.”
“Well, Susannah’s not here.” He leaned forward, as though they were sharing a great secret. “So you can be whomever you want.”
“Oh, I am still myself.” She was getting into the spirit of the game as well. “I only wish to cast aside certain aspects of my life that were forced upon me, such as a most unattractive nickname.”
“What is your given name?” Genuine curiosity got the better of him.
“My name is Hannah.” She shrugged, drawing her shawl closer about her shoulders. “Susannah said it sounded too much like her name, you know, too many ‘annahs’ in the house. So she shortened it to Nan. So I’ve been, ever since.”
“That took some cheek.” He sat back, eyeing Nan—no, Hannah—with genuine sympathy. “I was the eldest in my family, but I never saw fit to change Jane’s name.”
“Susannah has always been rather high-handed,” Nan admitted, turning her eyes toward the floor of the carriage. “She is a very good sister, though,” she added hastily.
“I am sure she is, but that doesn’t solve our problem right now. The problem is, who are you? Nan Siddons? Hannah Siddons? Siddons? The choice is yours.”
“In the interest of speed and efficiency, you may call me Siddons. Just as I shall call you Reed.” She smiled. Then she added, “I am Hannah Siddons.”
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