not a bad person, your Grace, I’m just a thief. It’s not the same at all. At least the churchmen all got what was coming to them.’
‘You have a long way to go with this one, Sparhawk,’ Bevier observed. ‘We all loved Kurik like a brother, but are we really sure that his son has the makings of a Church Knight in him?’
‘I’m working on that,’ Sparhawk replied. ‘So that’s what Drychtnath’s all about. Just how deeply do the commons in Lamorkand believe in the story, your Grace?’
‘It goes deeper than belief, Sparhawk,’ Ortzel replied. ‘The story’s in our blood. I’m wholly committed to the Church, but when I hear The Drychtnathasaga, I become an absolute pagan – for a while at least.’
‘Well,’ Tynian said, ‘now we know what we’re up against. We have the same thing going on in Lamorkand as we have in Rendor. We’ve got heresies springing up all around us. It still doesn’t solve our problem, though. How are Sparhawk and the rest of us going to be able to go to Tamuli without insulting the emperor?’
‘I’ve solved that problem already, Tynian,’ Ehlana told him.
‘I beg your Majesty’s pardon?’
‘It’s so simple that I’m almost ashamed of you all that you didn’t think of it first.’
‘Enlighten us, your Majesty,’ Stragen said. ‘Make us blush for our stupidity.’
‘It’s time for the western Elene Kingdoms to open communications with the Tamul Empire,’ she explained. ‘We are neighbours, after all. It’s politically very sound for me to make a state visit to Matherion, and if you gentlemen are all very nice to me, I’ll invite you to come along.’ She frowned. ‘That was the least of our problems. Now we’ll have to address something far more serious.’
‘And what is that, Ehlana?’ Dolmant asked her.
‘I simply don’t have a thing to wear, Sarathi.’
Sparhawk had learned to keep a tight rein on his emotions during the years since his marriage to the Queen of Elenia, but his smile was slightly fixed as the meeting broke up. Kalten fell in beside him as they all left the council chamber. ‘I gather that you’re less than pleased with our queen’s solution to the problem,’ he observed. Kalten was Sparhawk’s boyhood friend, and he had learned how to read that battered face.
‘You might say that, yes,’ Sparhawk replied tightly.
‘Are you open to a suggestion?’
‘I’ll listen.’ Sparhawk didn’t want to make any promises at this point.
‘Why don’t you and I go down into the crypt under the Basilica?’
‘Why?’
‘I thought you might want to vent certain feelings before you and your wife discuss the matter. You’re a bit savage when you’re angry, Sparhawk, and I’m really very fond of your wife. If you call her an idiot to her face, you’ll hurt her feelings.’
‘Are you trying to be funny?’
‘Not in the least, my friend. I feel almost the same way about it as you do, and I’ve had a very colourful education. When you run out of swear-words, I’ll supply some you might not have heard.’
‘Let’s go,’ Sparhawk said, turning abruptly down a side corridor.
They passed through the nave quickly, perfunctorily genuflecting to the altar in passing, and descended into the crypt that contained the bones of several aeons’ worth of Archprelates.
‘Don’t bang your fists on the walls,’ Kalten cautioned as Sparhawk began to pace up and down, swearing and waving his arms in the air. ‘You’ll break your knuckles.’
‘It’s a total absurdity, Kalten!’ Sparhawk said after he had shouted profanities for several minutes.
‘It’s worse than that, my friend. There’s always room in the world for absurdities. They’re sort of fun actually, but this is dangerous. We have no way of knowing what we’re going to encounter in Tamuli. I love your wife dearly, but having her along is going to be inconvenient.’
‘Inconvenient?’
‘I’m trying to be polite. How does “bloody hindering awkward” strike you?’
‘It’s closer.’
‘You’ll never persuade her to stay home though. I’d give that up as a lost cause before I even started. She’s obviously made up her mind, and she outranks you. You probably ought to try to put the best face on it – avoid the embarrassment of being told to shut your mouth and go to your room.’ Sparhawk grunted.
‘I think our best approach is to talk with Oscagne. We’ll be taking the most precious thing in Elenia to the Daresian continent where things are far from tranquil. Your wife’s going there is a personal favour to the Emperor of Tamuli, so he’s obligated to protect her. An escort of a few dozen legions of Atans meeting us at the Astel border might be looked upon as a sign of his Majesty’s appreciation, wouldn’t you say?’
‘That’s really not a bad idea, Kalten.’
‘I’m not totally stupid, Sparhawk. Now, Ehlana’s going to expect you to rant and rave and wave your arms at her. She’s ready for that, so don’t do it. She is going along. We’ve lost that fight already, wouldn’t you say?’
‘Unless I chain her to the bed.’
‘There’s an interesting idea.’
‘Never mind.’
‘It’s tactically unsound to fight a last stand unless you’re trapped. Give her that victory, and then she’ll owe you one. Use it to get her to agree not to do anything while we’re in Tamuli without your express permission. That way we can keep her almost as safe as she’d be if she stayed home. There’s a good chance that she’ll be so happy that you didn’t scream at her that she’ll agree without thinking it all the way through. You’ll be able to restrict her movements when we get there – at least enough to keep her out of danger.’
‘Kalten, sometimes you amaze me,’ Sparhawk told his friend.
‘I know,’ the blond Pandion replied. ‘This stupid-looking face of mine is very useful sometimes.’
‘Where did you ever learn so much about manipulating royalty?’
‘I’m not manipulating royalty, Sparhawk. I’m manipulating a woman, and I’m an expert at that. Women are born negotiators. They love these little trades. If you go to a woman and say, “I’ll do this for you if you do that for me,” she’ll almost always be willing to talk about it at least. Women always want to talk about things. If you keep your eye on what you really want, you’ll almost always come out on top.’ He paused. ‘Metaphorically speaking of course,’ he added.
‘What are you up to, Sparhawk?’ Mirtai asked him suspiciously when he approached the suite of rooms Dolmant had provided for Ehlana and her personal retinue. Sparhawk carefully let the smug expression slide from his face and assumed one of grave concern instead.
‘Don’t try to be clever, Sparhawk,’ she told him. ‘If you hurt her, I’ll have to kill you, you know.’
‘I’m not going to hurt her, Mirtai. I’m not even going to yell at her.’
‘You’re up to something, aren’t you?’
‘Of course I am. After you lock me inside, put your ear to the door and listen.’ He gave her a sidelong look. ‘But you do that all the time anyway, don’t you?’
She actually blushed.