life. She knew she should put it behind her, but she couldn’t. What would Louise and Rebecca think if they knew the truth? Worse, what would Travis think? She didn’t want to even imagine that moment. He would know what a fool she’d been. He would blame her, as she blamed herself, for not figuring it out, for not getting the clues. There must have been hundreds.
Stop thinking about it, she told herself. But it was hard to forget what was keeping her from the life she really wanted. Tonight’s dinner had reminded her how much she liked having people in her life. Being with everyone had taunted her with the vision of what she’d once imagined her life with Sam to be like. She’d thought they would be a family together; she’d been wrong.
Brushing aside the unpleasant thoughts, she moved toward Mandy’s room. As she entered the room she saw Travis sitting on the edge of the bed holding Mandy in his arms. They both had their backs to her.
“Sometimes I miss my daddy,” Mandy said.
“I know, honey,” Travis answered.
Elizabeth felt as if someone had stabbed her in the heart. Mandy had adjusted so well to all the changes that sometimes she allowed herself to forget how this must be upsetting her daughter. Of course she missed her father.
She wanted to go to Mandy and comfort her, but Travis seemed to be doing a fine job. Besides, it was her fault the girl didn’t have a father anymore. She’d been the one to demand Sam sign custody of their child over to her. She clutched the door frame. Sam hadn’t given her any trouble. He’d signed the papers, then passed them to her. His blue eyes had spoken his silent apology as the prison guards had led him away. That quiet apology hadn’t been enough.
Elizabeth knew this was hard on Mandy, but it was better this way. Sam had never really loved either of them. She’d finally figured out it had all been a game to him.
“How come your hugs make me feel better?” Mandy asked, settling back on her bed.
“They’re magic hugs.” Travis bent over and kissed her cheek. When he straightened, he saw Elizabeth standing just inside the room. “Hi. We were discussing her father.”
“I heard,” she said. Elizabeth addressed Mandy. “Were you feeling sad?”
“A little.” Her little girl looked up at her with Sam’s eyes. “Travis gave me a magic hug and I’m better now.”
“Aren’t you lucky.” Elizabeth picked up her stuffed teddy and placed him next to her. “Are you ready to go to sleep?”
Mandy nodded.
“I love you, sweetie.”
“I love you, too, Mommy.”
Elizabeth fussed with the covers for as long as she could, knowing she didn’t want to turn around and face Travis. What must he be thinking about her? Every time they came to some kind of agreement, something was there to remind him about the mysteries in her life. She knew he was curious. She just prayed he would stop asking her questions she couldn’t answer.
Travis was waiting for her in the hallway. Without saying a word, he placed his hand on the small of her back and led her down the stairs. When they reached the foyer she was about to say good-night, but he opened the front door.
“Come outside,” he said. “It’s a beautiful night.”
She hesitated. It would be better for both of them if she went to her room—alone. The two of them sitting in the dark could get into a lot of trouble. Their kiss this afternoon had proved that, and it had still been daylight. But the cool night beckoned. She was tired from her long day, but not in pain.
“I won’t bite,” he promised.
How could she resist him? “If you’re sure,” she said, and stepped out onto the porch.
The light beside the front door cast a soft glow down the steps. The swing was to her left, but she felt that would be tempting fate too much, so she sat on the top step and pulled her full skirt over her knees to her ankles. Travis settled next to her. The night air was full of sounds: crickets, the soft buzz of invisible flying wings, the hoot-hoot of an owl. She inhaled the smells. Damp earth from a brief afternoon shower, the last lingering sweetness of the roses by the porch rail and the hint of woodsmoke from some faraway fireplace.
A quarter moon hung just above the horizon. This was a different sky than she was used to. The lights of Los Angeles washed out most of the stars, but up here she could see the twinkling lights of the constellations.
Travis sat close enough for them to touch. Shoulder to thigh. She should probably pull away, but he was warm and familiar, her only anchor in her new world.
“You want to talk about Mandy’s father?” he asked. He’d lowered his voice, but it still sounded loud in the quiet evening. “I assume you heard what she said.”
“Most of it.” She folded her arms on top of her knees and rested her chin on them. “I can’t.”
“How about your father?”
“What?”
She glanced sideways at him. He smiled at her. In the soft light, he looked like a chiseled statue. His hair and mustache were the color of midnight, his skin a polished bronze. If it wasn’t for the warmth of his arm brushing her and the heat seeping through her dress from hip and thigh, she would have wondered if he was real. She’d escaped her past and had somehow stumbled upon this man. Was fate being kind or playing the most horrible joke on her?
“I’m changing the subject. Tell me about your family. Did you grow up in L.A.?”
“In the area. Near San Bernardino. A small town, a lot like this one. Then I went to the big bad city to go to college.”
“And you’re the only child.”
“Yes. Mom was in her late thirties when I was born, and that was a lot less popular then. I was lonely growing up. I’d always planned on having three or four kids of my own to make up for it, but it didn’t turn out that way.”
“You could have them now.”
“I’m not sure. Being a single mom is hard. I’m not getting married.” Again. She almost said it, but at the last minute held back the word. Still it hung in the night like a winged creature before taking flight and disappearing into the silence. She cleared her throat. “What about you?”
Either he didn’t notice that now she was the one changing the subject, or he was too kind to comment. She had a feeling it was the latter.
“Four boys, an assortment of uncles dropping by to visit. It was noisy.” He shrugged. She felt the rise and fall of his shirt as it brushed against her skin. It was nice. “My dad was sheriff of Glenwood for about twenty-five years.”
“Did you work for him?”
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “For about a minute. He took an early retirement, but there was a month there when I was his newest deputy.” He paused. When he spoke again, his voice was different. “He rode me hard.”
“Did it make you angry?”
He turned to look at her. “Why do you ask?”
“You sounded...” She trailed off. “Bitter, I guess.”
“Maybe I am. Not about the work, that was fine. Dad and his brothers were the original good ol’ boys. They lived hard, drank hard, played hard. By the time I was ten, three of my four uncles were divorced. The fourth one, Bob, never bothered getting married. I knew my dad had a bunch of girlfriends, not to mention a mistress he kept in the next town.” He drew in a deep breath. “This is the seedy side of the Haynes family legend. Sorry. You don’t want to hear this.”
She felt bad that he’d gone through that, but part of her was grateful to have something to focus on other than her own problems. She shifted until she was facing him. Her knees bumped his thighs. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and letting