S.D. Robertson

If Ever I Fall


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know. I saw. Don’t worry about it. What else could you have done? Listen, I’m not bothered about the damage to the car. It’s nothing that can’t be fixed and the insurance will be straightforward because she went into the back of me. I wasn’t even moving. How are the girls?’

      ‘Anna’s a little upset. She bit her tongue when I braked, but it’s only a small cut. It’ll heal in no time. Ruby’s watching over her.’

      ‘Really? Oh dear. Do you mind waiting with my car for a minute while I check on her?’

      ‘No, of course not.’

      I handed him my keys and he nipped over to have a few words and a quick cuddle with Anna.

      ‘Thanks,’ he said, flashing me a grin on his return. ‘It looks like she’ll live.’

      I offered to make Anna a saltwater rinse when we got home, but she declined. Her injury was soon forgotten once she and Ruby disappeared upstairs to play.

      ‘Cup of tea?’ I asked Rick. ‘Or do you need something stronger?’

      He laughed. ‘Tea would be great. Nice place you have here, by the way.’

      Honestly, Sam, I couldn’t believe how relaxed he was about the whole thing with his car. I’d have been in a right state if it was me. After I apologised again and he brushed it off, we barely talked about that any more. Despite it all, we ended up having a really good chat. It was the first time in ages I’d had a proper one-to-one with anyone, never mind a gorgeous man. He had this intense way of talking to me with his eyes fixed on mine the whole time, like he really cared about what I had to say. It’s been a while since I’ve felt as though anyone cared.

      Not that I told him much. Certainly nothing about you. It didn’t feel right at this stage. That was probably why his intensity surprised me, as neither of us went that deep into our lives. It was all superficial stuff about the school and what it’s like bringing up a daughter; bits and bobs about the neighbourhood and TV programmes we’ve enjoyed. It was clear that we both live on our own with our kids, but for some reason neither of us went into specifics. Maybe we’d have got there eventually. But then Ruby broke her arm.

      Yes, you heard me right. She and Anna were playing some game that involved them sliding down the stairs and Ruby ended up tripping and falling from top to bottom. I’d not realised what they were doing until then. Otherwise I’d have stopped them. But there was no ignoring the awful thumping sound she made on the way down. Nor the piercing scream that followed once her bone snapped.

      She was lying in a heap in the hallway when I found her, Rick and I having raced through from the kitchen. Her skin had turned a deathly pallor somewhere between grey and white and she was shaking. I’m glad it turned out just to be her arm, to be honest. My first impression was that it could be much worse.

      ‘Oh my God,’ I found myself shouting, panic rising in my chest. ‘What on earth’s going on?’

      Anna, who was looking down from the top of the stairs in terror, burst into tears again. Then I snapped into action and focused on how best to help my daughter.

      Rick, I have to say, was useless at this point, which surprised me. Rather than helping, he beckoned Anna downstairs and pulled her to one side, looking queasy. Some people aren’t good with that kind of thing, I suppose. It wasn’t like there was blood all over the place, but Ruby’s right arm – thank goodness she’s left-handed – was very obviously broken. It was bent all out of shape between the wrist and the elbow. I was going to pieces inside, believe me, but somehow I found the strength to keep on going. There was no time to be squeamish. No time to over-think things and let that hyperactive brain of mine find some way to cripple me. My daughter needed me. Your maternal instinct kicks in at these moments and you do whatever’s required.

      I knew I had to get her to A&E as soon as possible. Rick offered to come, but I could tell he didn’t really want to. Squeamish folk don’t tend to be big hospital fans. ‘No, no,’ I told him as I tried to calm Ruby down and get her into the car. ‘There’s really no need. We’ll be stuck there for hours. You’ve already had enough hassle today.’

      ‘Are you sure?’

      ‘Yes. You get Anna home.’

      ‘We’ve not had the best afternoon, have we?’

      I gave him a pursed smile, willing him to go, so I could concentrate on my daughter. ‘Not really.’

      ‘Never mind. There’s always next time.’

      ‘Sure.’

      Anyhow, we went to hospital and, as predicted, it took ages. You can understand now, Sam, why I didn’t find time to write to you yesterday. I—

      Got to go. Ruby’s calling. Write tomorrow.

      Love as always,

      M

      Xx

       CHAPTER 7

       BEFORE

       Wednesday, 5 April 2017

      The phone on Dan’s desk rang, jangling loudly through the newsroom.

      He looked at the clock: 5.45 p.m. Shit.

      ‘Yes?’

      ‘Hello, Dan. It’s Susan on reception. I’m sorry to bother you when you’re on deadline. It’s your wife. She says it’s urgent.’

      He felt like correcting her and saying ‘ex-wife’, although technically that wasn’t the case. They were still married, but only on paper. Why was she calling him now? Better than a last-minute story coming through, which was what he’d feared, but not by much. It was never good news when she called these days.

      ‘You’d better put her through,’ he told Susan.

      ‘Right. Here she is.’

      ‘Hello?’

      ‘It’s Maria.’

      ‘I know. What can I do for you?’

      ‘There’s been an accident. I’m at A&E with Ruby.’

      That got his attention. ‘What? Is she all right?’

      ‘Not really. She’s broken her arm.’

      ‘You’re joking. How?’

      ‘She fell down the stairs. She was playing with a friend.’

      ‘Bloody hell, Maria. How bad is it?’

      ‘I’m not a doctor, Dan. All I know so far is that the arm’s broken.’

      Why did she always have to be so offhand with him? Dan wondered. His eyes drifted from the keypad of the desk phone to a half-finished mug of coffee that had long since gone cold. ‘Trust me, I’m a journalist!’ was printed on the side – a gift from Maria back in the good old days.

      ‘Which hospital are you at?’ he asked.

      ‘St Joseph’s. We only got here about half an hour ago. We’ll be ages yet.’

      ‘Can I talk to her?’

      ‘Hold on.’

      There was a pause as Maria spoke to Ruby. All Dan could hear was a hospital announcement in the background.

      ‘She doesn’t want to,’ Maria said a moment later. ‘She’s in a lot of pain.’

      ‘Oh. Listen, I’d come to the hospital, but—’

      ‘But what?’

      ‘It’s Wednesday, Maria.’

      She knew full