in wine after the birth,’ she sighed, as she too closed her eyes.
Then she remembered that pregnancy hormones put her at risk for brown spots. With a muttered curse she opened her eyes and put on her broad-brimmed hat.
‘Shit. I can’t even sunbathe,’ she cursed.
‘What?’ said Dan drowsily, and she realized he was about to fall asleep in the sun.
‘Nothing, sweetheart,’ she said, although she suddenly had an irresistible urge to kick him in the shin, purely for being a man and not having to endure the pains of pregnancy or give up anything.
It was so fucking unfair. As for those women who sighed dreamily about how wonderful it was to be pregnant and what a gift it was to be the one who brought children into the world – well, she’d like to punch them. Hard.
‘People are idiots,’ she muttered.
‘What?’ Dan said again, this time sounding even drowsier.
‘Nothing,’ she said, pulling the brim of her hat down over her eyes.
What was she thinking about before Dan came over and interrupted her? Oh, right. How wonderful life was. And it was. In spite of the pregnancy pains and everything else. She was loved. She was surrounded by family.
She took off the hat and lifted her face to the sun. To hell with brown spots. Life was too short not to enjoy the sun.
Sam wished he could stay here forever. Ever since he was a kid, he’d loved it here. The heat from the rocks. The gurgling of the water. The screech of the seagulls. Out here he could escape from everything. He could close his eyes and let it all slip away.
Jessie was lying next to him. He could feel the warmth of her body. A miracle, that’s what she was. The fact she’d come into his life at this particular moment. Marie Wall’s daughter. What an irony of fate.
‘Do you love your parents?’
Sam opened one eye and squinted at her. She was lying on her front with her chin propped on one hand, staring at him.
‘Why are you asking?’
It was an intimate question. Especially since they’d known each other only a short time.
‘I’ve never met my father,’ she said, looking away.
‘How come?’
Jessie shrugged.
‘I don’t know. I guess my mother didn’t want me to. I’m not sure she even knows who my father is.’
Sam reached out his hand to touch her arm. She didn’t flinch, so he left it there. Her eyes brightened.
‘What about you? Do you have a good relationship with your parents?’
He’d been feeling so safe and calm, but now that disappeared. Yet he understood why she would ask, and he somehow felt he owed her an answer.
‘My father, he’s … well, he’s been in the war. Sometimes he’s gone for months at a time. And sometimes he brings the war home with him.’
Jessie leaned closer, resting her head on his shoulder.
‘Has he ever …’
‘I don’t want to talk about it. Not yet.’
‘What about your mother?’
Sam closed his eyes, letting the sunlight warm him.
‘She’s okay,’ he said at last.
For a few seconds he thought about what he was refusing to think about, and he squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. Then he opened his eyes and fumbled in his pocket for the cigarettes he’d brought along. He took out two, lit both of them, and handed one to Jessie.
Calm spread through his body, the buzzing faded from inside his head, and the memories were carried away by the smoke. He leaned forward and kissed Jessie. At first she froze. From fear. From surprise. Then he felt her lips soften and let him in.
‘Oh, how adorable!’
Sam gave a start.
‘Look at the little lovebirds!’
Nils came sauntering down from the rocks with Basse and Vendela in tow. As always. They didn’t seem to be capable of surviving without each other.
‘So who’s this?’ Nils sat down right next to Sam and Jessie, staring at her intently as she pulled up her bikini top. ‘Looks like you’ve found yourself a girlfriend, Sam.’
‘I’m Jessie,’ she told him, holding out her hand, which Nils ignored.
‘Jessie?’ said Vendela behind him. ‘You must be Marie Wall’s daughter.’
‘Aha. The daughter of your mother’s pal. The Hollywood star.’
Nils was now looking at Jessie with interest as she kept on tugging at her bikini top. Sam wanted to protect her from their prying eyes. He wanted to put his arms around her and tell her to pay them no mind. Instead he reached for her T-shirt.
‘I guess it’s no surprise that the two of you would find each other,’ said Basse, giving Nils a poke in the side.
His voice was a shrill, feminine falsetto, but no one ever teased him about it for fear of drawing the wrath of Nils. His real name was Bosse, but in middle school he’d got everyone to call him Basse instead, because it sounded cooler.
‘Yeah, I guess it’s not really that strange,’ said Nils, looking from Jessie to Sam.
‘Okay, I’m fucking hungry,’ he said. ‘Let’s get out of here.’
Vendela smiled at Jessie. ‘See you later.’
Sam looked at them in surprise. Was that it?
Jessie leaned towards him.
‘Who were those guys?’ she said. ‘They’re weird. Nice, but weird.’
Sam shook his head.
‘They’re not nice. Not at all.’
He pulled his mobile out of his pocket, opened the photo file, and skimmed through the videos. He knew why he’d saved this particular video. It was a reminder of what people could do to each other. And to him. But he’d never planned to show it to Jessie. Enough people had already seen it.
‘They posted this on Snapchat last summer,’ he said, handing his mobile to Jessie. ‘I managed to film it before it was removed.’
Sam looked away as Jessie clicked on the start button. He didn’t need to watch it. When he heard the voices the whole scene clearly unfolded in his mind.
‘You’re so out of shape!’ Nils had shouted. ‘Wimpy like a girl. Swimming is good exercise.’
Nils had headed for Sam’s boat, which was moored not far from where it was today.
‘You can swim back to Fjällbacka. It’ll build muscles.’
Vendela laughed as she filmed everything with her camera. Basse came running alongside Nils.
Nils tossed the mooring line into the boat, then set his foot on the bow and gave it a push. The small wooden boat began slowly backing away from the island, but it got caught in a current a few metres out, and the distance increased rapidly.
Nils turned towards the camera, grinning broadly.
‘Have a nice swim.’
At that point the video ended.
‘Holy shit,’ said Jessie. ‘Holy shit.’
She looked at Sam with tears in her eyes.
He shrugged.
‘I’ve been through worse.’
Jessie blinked away her tears. He suspected