going?’
Ben stepped between her and her mother. ‘She’s with me,’ he said, his voice as polite as ever, but very, very firm. Her mother drew back, startled, and Ben led her out of the room.
Natalia let out an uncertain, trembling laugh as they stepped out of the palazzo and the night enveloped them, as soft as a lover’s caress. ‘So where are we going?’ she asked.
‘I could tell you, but then it wouldn’t be a surprise.’
‘True.’ She hesitated and Ben turned to her, his hand outstretched.
‘Do you want a surprise?’
‘I don’t know,’ she admitted. ‘I’m not sure I can take any surprises right now.’
‘I want to take you up in my plane,’ Ben said, and Natalia did not reply. She was thinking of the last time they’d been in that tiny plane, how Ben had pushed her away from him. The rejection still hurt, still made her doubt. ‘Please,’ he said, and silently she nodded.
They didn’t speak as they drove through the darkness to the airfield. Ben’s plane waited for them in a corner of the tarmac, looking as tiny and intimate as ever. Natalia swallowed nervously as she climbed into the plane, grabbing a handful of her long, swishy evening gown as she picked her way across the cockpit in her high heels. Ben steadied her with one hand before climbing in himself.
‘This all feels so very familiar,’ she said as she stared out the window. She heard a sharp edge to her voice, an edge she could not suppress.
‘Familiar,’ Ben agreed, ‘but different too. I hope.’ He started the plane and Natalia leaned her head back against the seat as they took off into the sky, leaving the lights of Santina twinkling far below.
They didn’t speak for a long moment and Natalia felt a tension—and a tenuous hope—uncoil and tautly stretch inside her. ‘So,’ she finally said, breaking that endless silence. ‘These things.’
‘Yes.’ Ben cleared his throat, and with a jolt Natalia realised he was nervous. ‘I never told you why I’ve been so afraid of commitment.’
‘OK.’
‘My father cheated on my mother. You knew that. I knew that, even when I was small, and it made me so angry. I loved my dad. He was funny and charming and just … fun, really. Always laughing. When I realised he was weak and full of flaws too, I felt like I could almost hate him.’ Natalia said nothing and Ben sighed. ‘That’s all rather expected, I know. Nothing new there. But what I haven’t told you—didn’t want to tell you—is that I also resented my mother, for taking him back. Over and over again, even though she knew. She knew about all his flings and affairs, and she just pretended like she didn’t. It infuriated me. Still does, at least in part, if I’m going to be completely truthful. I wanted her to be strong. And I never wanted to be like her.’
‘So,’ Natalia said slowly, ‘you avoided commitment because you were afraid of being weak, like her?’
‘Yes, although I see now it takes a certain kind of strength to do what she has done. But as for you and me …’ He let out a long, slow breath. ‘From the moment I met you I felt like I was losing control. Wanting you. Wanting to know you, and for you to know me. And yet I avoided telling you anything really important about myself because I didn’t want to feel weak. I tried to keep you the way I’d thought you were because I didn’t want to get close. I didn’t want to want you.’
Natalia gave him the ghost of a smile. ‘Do you know how many times you’ve said that?’
‘But the you I didn’t want isn’t the real you, Natalia.’
‘Don’t think too highly of me,’ Natalia said quietly. Even now she couldn’t keep from warning him off, just a bit. ‘I’ve done a lot of things. Made a lot of mistakes.’
‘Haven’t we all? I certainly have. But I’ve seen you over the past few weeks. I’ve seen how you reach out to the kids on the pitch, how you’re willing to be on their level. You haven’t stood on being a princess.’
‘Sometimes I don’t want to be a princess.’
‘And when I think how you worked in the office, without telling anyone about your dyslexia—’
‘Don’t,’ she said, her voice catching. ‘Don’t pity me.’
Ben shook his head in vigorous denial. ‘I admire you, Natalia. I always thought you were strong, but I had no idea. I still don’t. You’re amazing.’
The heartfelt sincerity in his tone humbled her; she couldn’t doubt it. ‘You’re pretty amazing yourself,’ she finally managed, her voice a bit choked, and he slid her a sideways smile.
‘I’m not done yet.’
‘No?’
‘No.’ He took a deep breath. ‘What I really want to say is I love you. I love the woman you’ve been and the woman you’ve become. I love your strength and humour and grace, and how you never let me get away with anything. I love you, Natalia.’
She was going to cry. And she was wearing mascara. Laughing a little, Natalia dashed at her wet cheeks. ‘I love you too,’ she said quietly, and with comical exaggeration Ben cupped his ear.
‘Sorry, what was that?’
She laughed and said it loudly. Shouted it. ‘I love you!’
They were both silent, accepting and even reveling in the moment. Everything had been exposed; everything had been brought to the light. And it was good.
‘I’m sorry for what I put you through,’ Ben finally said quietly. ‘I was so blind, in so many ways.’
‘And I was afraid.’
‘And now?’
She let out a shaky laugh. ‘I’m not afraid. But I have no idea what’s going to happen when I return to the palazzo. What my parents will say. Do.’
‘You won’t be alone,’ Ben told her. ‘I’ll be by your side every second.’
She released a shuddering breath. ‘I’m certainly glad for that.’
Natalia saw lights twinkling below them, and as Ben started to descend she wondered what their destination was. What would happen now.
She was not prepared for the sudden glare of lights as Ben maneuvered the Seabird towards the ground. She peered out the window and saw a bridge lit by lamplight and near-swarming with people.
‘Where are we?’ she asked. ‘Why are they so many people?’
‘The Ponte Milvio Bridge in Rome.’
‘You’re landing a plane on the bridge?’ The Ponte Milvio was over two thousand years old, in the centre of Rome, and local legend told that any couple who got engaged on the bridge would be assured lifelong health and happiness.
‘The Seabird lands like a helicopter,’ Ben explained. ‘And I cleared it with the local authorities beforehand.’
Natalia peered out of the window. She could see the Tiber River awash with lights from the city, the ancient bridge looming nearer and crowded with people.
‘Who are all those people?’ she asked.
‘Ah. Well.’ Ben shot her a rather rueful grin. ‘They’re reporters.’
‘Paparazzi?’
‘There are a few legitimate journalists in there as well.’
Natalia shook her head, not understanding. ‘Why would they all be on the bridge? How on earth could they know we’d be here?’ She hadn’t even known herself.
‘They might,’ Ben said, ‘have received a tipoff.’
Natalia stared at him blankly.