and she had certainly never expected that someone else to be her best friend and colleague. Dean and Owen’s betrayal cut her to the quick. She’d trusted Dean. He had been her husband and he betrayed her.
Trust was something she never gave freely. She’d been burned so many times by so-called friends. She’d thought she’d been able to trust her husband. The one person who’d held her heart. So when he’d done the unthinkable she’d had a hard time believing in any one else, in trusting another person. Intimacy was a huge leap of faith, letting someone see that vulnerable side to you.
So, yeah, it had been a long time since she’d even contemplated thinking about a man in a sexual way. It had been a while since a tingle of excitement at the possibility of something more had revved her motor, but when his lips brushed against her knuckles suddenly the cold winter temperatures had no longer bothered her.
Sam’s blue eyes were twinkling mischievously. He was a bad boy. There was no mistaking it, but the way he leaned against the bar, the emotional walls he had in place, the devilry in those blue, blue eyes. Sam was the kind of man her mother had always warned her to steer clear of. Yet it had been the nice man, the respectable one, whom her mother had approved of, who had betrayed her trust.
Besides, she was just flirting with this handsome heir of a Scottish laird in an upscale Manhattan bar. It didn’t have to go any further than this.
Why not?
It might be nice to cut loose and celebrate a new life, at a new hospital. Tonight she didn’t have to be a world-renowned maternal-fetal surgeon. Tonight she just had to be Mindy. She’d never see this guy again. He wouldn’t use her or hurt her.
She could just be Mindy. Lonely and scared out of her mind Mindy, but still…
What was he saying? Oh, yes, he thought she sounded in pain. Great.
She giggled nervously.
Maybe he sensed she needed a change of topic because he asked, “So, what makes me so funny, then? Is it the accent that amuses you so much? Or is it my boyish charm?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, making her melt just a bit.
“Boyish charm for sure.” She smiled at him, which was easy to do. She couldn’t recall ever smiling and flirting with Dean, but, then, she had always been a wallflower. Shy and meek. This was new, it felt good. She picked up her drink and took a sip, wincing at the burn of alcohol. Honestly, she didn’t know why she’d ordered wine, she wasn’t much of a drinker.
“Something wrong with your wine?” Sam asked.
“No, nothing. It’s fine. I don’t usually go to bars.”
“Then can I ask why you wanted to brave the harsh, bitter environment of winter to come to a bar and suffer through what looks to be a very painful glass of wine.”
Mindy shrugged. “As I said, I’m new here. I wanted to meet people.”
Sam leaned over. “Well, you’ve met me.”
“You’re laying it on very thick now.”
“It amuses me to do so.” He cleared his throat and then swigged down the last of his Scotch. “There, that’s better. My mellow American accent is back. What do you think?”
“I prefer the Scottish one.” Then she giggled.
It was pathetic that she was giggling. It had been a while since she’d dated or flirted, but when you spent your whole career operating on such delicate humans as fetuses you didn’t really have much of a life. Not when their tiny little lives were in your hands. Not when their mothers’ lives were in your hands. She spent a lot of time in research, in ORs, sitting by patients’ bedsides.
Too many happy families depended on her and being one of the top surgeons in her field meant she was in high demand.
There was no time for socializing or anything else. She’d met Dean when they had both been interns, learning under the same surgeon. They’d both been maternal-fetal specialists. They’d both been on the same trajectory.
Or so she’d thought.
“Dean, don’t you want to have kids? I’m ready. I think we’re ready.”
“We’re not ready, Mindy. You just think you’re ready. You work around kids and babies all day long. We have to focus on our careers now. Once we’re both really settled and in the top of our chosen fields, then we’ll settle down. We’ll have a couple of kids.”
And then that had never happened and now it wouldn’t happen because, number one, she was no longer Dean’s wife, number two, he was still in California, and, number three, Dean was gay.
There had been a lot of sniggers in the private practice she’d worked at in Los Angeles with Dean about how she’d found out he’d been cheating on her. Mindy had known Owen was gay, he had been her best friend. She didn’t care that Dean was gay, it was the fact that he’d gone behind her back and cheated on her with Owen and that the two of them had been carrying on for over a year and hadn’t told her. She’d shared her insecurities with Owen about her marriage. She’d trusted him too and he’d used those secret hurts and concerns against her.
That’s what had hurt the most. Dean knew everything she’d told Owen.
“You look angry all of a sudden. Are you okay?” Sam asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.
“I’m fine.” Well, she wasn’t. Not really. She was still letting Dean and Owen get to her. Even though it had been a year since her divorce had been finalized.
Dean and Owen had moved on and were in the process of adopting a child.
A child. Mindy had wanted a child for five years, but Dean had never been ready and Owen had told her not to push Dean on the matter.
“I’m fine,” she said again, and swigged back the last of her Merlot. “Just. Fine.”
So many years of her life wasted. Too many.
“I don’t think you are.” Sam got up. “Do you want me to walk you home?”
“You can do more than walk me home.” She wasn’t sure if it was the wine or what, but she grabbed the collar of Sam’s sweater, or where there would’ve been a collar if he wasn’t wearing a V-neck, and pulled him close to her, planting a kiss on his lips because she had to see for herself if those lips against hers would be just as thrilling as when they’d brushed against her knuckles.
And God help her. They were.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
Only she couldn’t. His arms went around her, his strong hands on her back as their bodies pressed together. The kiss deepened, so even if she wanted to turn back now she couldn’t. It had been so long since she’d had this kind of human contact.
So long that she’d forgotten what it was like and maybe even forgotten that she craved it, to have a man be aroused by her and not by her best friend.
Just her.
Sam broke off the kiss. “If you continue to do that I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”
“What if I don’t want you to stop?”
Sam’s blue eyes twinkled. “Well, then, that’s a whole different story.”
“My apartment is next door.”
He grinned. “Oh, aye?”
“Yeah.” Mindy grabbed her copious layers and took his hand, leading him out of the bar. She was going to be impulsive. Even if it was just this once in her life. She was going to live a little and she was going to do it with this dishy Scottish laird heir, or whoever he claimed to be.
She just needed this.
She badly needed to wipe the slate clean.
“Hold