his eyes on hers, he pushed the straps back down. Her hands remained around his wrists, but she didn’t try to stop him. When he slid his fingertips over the flesh just above the lace trim of her bra, her body trembled beneath his touch.
When her hands tightened and she started to shake her head, Mac cut her off. “This isn’t about me,” he explained. “Let me show you.”
Jenna remained silent, but held his gaze.
“Trust me,” he added.
The slightest of nods gave him the green light he’d been waiting for. He hadn’t even realized how monumental this was, but there was no way he could ever let her think she’d be like any other woman in his life. She was so much more.
She let go of his wrists, giving him complete control. Mac reached around and unfastened her bra, then removed the unwanted garment. Giving it a fling toward the shore, he allowed his eyes to rake over her exposed body. The water lapped just beneath her bare breasts and he could tell by the way she’d curled her body in and glanced away that she was vulnerable and doubting herself.
“You’re the most beautiful woman, Jenna. Look at me,” he commanded when she kept her eyes averted. “These perfect curves were made for a man’s hands.” My hands.
She didn’t reply and he knew she didn’t believe him. He was all too happy to show her exactly what he meant. Society had some warped idea of what a beautiful woman should look like, but in his opinion, a woman should be built like a woman. All curves and dips. A perfect layout to explore and enjoy.
Keeping his eyes locked on to hers, he wanted her to see every single emotion in his eyes. He wanted her to understand just how pivotal this moment was. And if he delved any more into that line of thinking, he’d terrify himself. But the last thing he wanted now was to pull away.
Mac cupped her face in his hands. “Don’t take your eyes off me.”
She didn’t nod, didn’t speak. She made no motion whatsoever. If Mac let his ego have control he’d think she was under his spell, but it was quite the opposite.
He cupped her breasts, loving how she quivered beneath his touch. When he moved his hands down her sides, she attempted to shift away.
“Never pull away from my touch.”
Jenna froze. Keeping his eyes on hers, he let his palms travel over her soft skin beneath the water. Her stomach clenched, her hips tilted and he knew her body was reacting all on its own. Hooking his thumbs under the edge of her panties, he started pulling them down. A bit harder to do in the water, but he was a man with one goal in mind—to make Jenna feel like the beautiful, desirable woman she was.
“Brace your hands on my shoulders.”
“Mac—”
“Do it.”
Water trickled from her fingertips as she brought her hands from the water and placed them on his shoulders. Without another word, she lifted one foot at a time and let him remove the last of her clothing. Keeping one hand on her hip and the other between her thighs, he watched as her lids lowered halfway, desire completely consuming her. Her lips parted, a soft sigh escaped and Mac wanted more. Much more.
He wanted his name on her lips, he wanted her to know who was pleasuring her and why. He wanted Jenna to see this as much more than a quick release.
When he slid one finger over her center, her fingertips curled into his skin. Mac was barely hanging on by a thread because he couldn’t wait to see her come undone. But Jenna was worth the wait.
As he moved his hand, she rocked her hips, never taking her eyes off him. There was something so intimate, so primal about watching her. He didn’t think this much with other women, didn’t analyze every detail. But he didn’t want to mess up a single thing with Jenna.
Mac gripped her waist as his hand moved faster. Her body kept up with his rhythm and Mac watched as a pink tint crept over her face. A sheen of sweat covered her forehead and nose, but she never once took her eyes off him.
Her body jerked. “Mac, I’m—”
“Do it,” he demanded.
When she tightened around him, his name slid off her lips like a whispered promise. Her eyes widened as if she wasn’t expecting the onslaught. Mac held her close and kept pleasuring her until her body went lax.
Wrapping both hands around her waist, he pulled her against his chest. Her heartbeat seemed to be just as frantic as his own.
The sound of the rushing water, the occasional bird chirping and Jenna’s panting were all music to his ears. Nothing else mattered but this moment, this woman. Words eluded him. Honestly, if he opened his mouth right now, he didn’t know what he’d say. He was aching to be with her, but he wouldn’t put her in that position. Beyond that, he wanted to say something sweet, something romantic...but that wasn’t them. They weren’t here for romance and he sure as hell didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.
Jenna’s hand slid over his board shorts, heading toward the one spot he needed her most. But he pulled away.
“No.”
Jerking back, her brows drew in as she searched his face. “Why?”
Mac clenched his teeth. “This isn’t about me or even us. This was all for you.”
A slight grin tipped one corner of her mouth. “Hardly seems fair.”
Taking her hands in his, he kissed her fingertips and placed her palms flat on his chest. “I don’t want you to think you’re like other women. This wasn’t about sex, Jenna. I need you to know that.”
She stared at him for a moment without saying a word. “I don’t know what to think,” she finally said. “You don’t want anything in return?”
With a painful laugh, Mac shook his head. “You already know the answer to that, but you deserve more and I never want you to think that you’re in a group with any other woman I’ve been with. You’re completely different. I’ve never...”
Damn it. He didn’t plan on confessing his doubts. He wanted to pleasure her, enjoy a little swim, have a few laughs and fly back to their bungalow. Why did this have to be so difficult?
“You’ve never what?” she prompted, moving closer to wrap her arms around his neck.
Swallowing any fear of opening up to her, Mac stated, “I’ve never just given without expecting something in return. I’ve never wanted to. A relationship has never been in the future for me so I always make sure to...”
Mercy. The more his thoughts started taking a stroll out of his mouth, the more he sounded like a jerk.
“I’ve been a bastard,” he confessed, guilt slamming into his chest and squeezing like a vice. “I purposely find women who only want one thing and then I move on. I never set out to be that way, Jenna, and I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
Mac dropped his head because the last thing he wanted was for Jenna to see him vulnerable or broken. Damn it, he hadn’t even known how much this hurt him until he started saying the words out loud. He’d used his body in an attempt to ignore all the anxiety and fear that came with relationships. And maybe he hadn’t even noticed until right now.
“You’re telling me because you care.” She tipped his chin up and he was rewarded with a megawatt smile that told him she completely understood and wasn’t judging. “You’re telling me because you value our friendship and you don’t want to hurt me. And I never thought you were a bastard.”
Mac reached up and framed her face. With her lush wet body plastered against his, he never wanted to leave this place, either. Why couldn’t they just run away and be—
Wait. What the hell was he thinking? Run away? As in, together? He didn’t have time or the emotional stability to attempt anything like a relationship and he sure as hell wouldn’t make Jenna his guinea pig.