of Douglas?’
‘Perhaps.’
‘Will you tell me the colour or will you keep me in suspense?’
‘A bit of suspense keeps life exciting.’
He flashed her a grin. ‘I agree. Well, I am certain whatever colour you have chosen, you will look lovely in it.’
It was just like Janvier to try to charm her after being seen with another woman. She held on to her bonnet as a particularly strong gust of wind blew down the street. ‘I must be off before the wind takes me. Good day, Janvier.’
He tipped his hat and helped her into the carriage, where Colette was waiting to accompany her to more shops. It would take quite of bit of funds to distract her from thinking about the enigma she had married.
* * *
Hours later the man himself emerged from his study as she stood in the entrance hall, removing her bonnet. Crossing his arms over his broad chest, he leaned against the doorframe of his private sanctuary. ‘You’ve been busy,’ he remarked casually as he watched two footmen carry in boxes and wrapped packages from her carriage.
She handed her bonnet and gloves to Colette, then dismissed her with a nod. ‘I realised I was in need of new slippers and gloves, and I saw a lovely fan for the theatre.’
‘How many slippers does one woman need, I wonder?’ he asked, with a slight smile.
‘As many as she can afford.’
He nodded slowly, holding her gaze across the empty hallway. ‘There is something I need to discuss with you...when you have the time.’
‘I have a few things to attend to. Perhaps we can speak before your family arrives for dinner this evening?’
He tipped his head. ‘I shall look forward to it. Shall we say six in my study?’
She nodded her agreement, even though having a conversation with him, knowing he was hiding something from her, was the last thing she wanted to do. What if he discovered she had been in his study and taken the cryptic note he’d tried to burn? Well, so be it! She needed answers and she was not afraid to press him to get them.
* * *
The idea of sharing his secret life with Olivia terrified Gabriel. There was no other word to describe it. But after weighing his options all morning on how he could have a real marriage with Olivia while also keeping his people safe, he knew it was the only solution.
She had sat in that carriage. She had found that box. And just yesterday he’d caught her trying to pick the lock to his desk.
He’d always known she was a smart, inquisitive woman. A person like that would not stop until they had answers. If she decided to poke into his affairs she might uncover the truth anyway—along with the identity of any number of the people who worked for him. He might be able to trust her with his involvement protecting the Crown, but he could not trust her with the identity of his operatives. The scar below his ribs was a daily reminder why. He would tell her the truth—at least the part he thought she needed to know.
* * *
At precisely six o’clock Olivia arrived at the door to his study. From the determined expression on her face, it appeared she had come with a purpose. It wouldn’t surprise him if she wanted to discuss that carriage again.
‘I gather from your earlier comment about the fan you purchased, you’re planning on attending the theatre,’ he said, closing the door behind him and leaning against it. That wasn’t exactly a polite way to begin a conversation, but it was something.
She walked to the fireplace, where the ashes appeared to be more interesting than he was. ‘Yes, Douglas will be opening, and Mrs Siddons is to return to the stage. Prinny and I were recently discussing how we’ve missed her performances.’
‘He told me you brought marzipan. That’s an interesting gift to give someone with the gout.’
‘While you and I both know he suffers from terrible bouts of it, we also know he’s not plagued with it now.’ She finally looked at him. ‘Was there a particular reason you wanted to see me? I cannot imagine it was to discuss Prinny.’
All of this had to do with Prinny.
Gabriel pushed away from the door and walked towards her. ‘I have something I would like to discuss with you.’
‘You said as much.’
He waited politely for Olivia to sit before taking the chair next to her. For the last hour he’d thought about what he would say—now he wished he’d considered how to begin. He spun his ring, searching for the right words.
When Olivia raised an expectant brow, he knew he needed to forge ahead. ‘I believe we have spoken to each other more now than we have in the last five years. We are behaving as a family, in every sense of the word, and I was wondering if it would be possible for this reconciliation between you and I to continue, even after you are with child?’
Her eyes widened momentarily before her forehead wrinkled. He waited for her response. The awkward moment stretched between them and Gabriel began to wonder if she understood what he was asking.
‘Why now?’ She only said two words, but her scepticism spoke volumes.
‘I told you—’
‘No, not really.’ She stood and took a few steps away before spinning on her heels to face him. ‘I know what you’re about. I am not naïve. You believe I was trying to pick the lock to your desk. That carriage and odd box I asked you about, they have significance even though you claim to know nothing about them. You are hiding something and think that by flattering me I’ll run into your arms and brush my questions aside.’
He stood so she was no longer looking down at him. ‘I’m not asking for a true reconciliation to trick you. I’m asking because I have genuine affection for you and I’d like to try to start over again with you if that is possible.’
‘Interesting timing.’
‘Is it? We have just begun this temporary reconciliation. I’ve just started to realise how much I’ve missed you. Is that truly questionable timing? I couldn’t possibly have realised I missed you, a year ago. You weren’t speaking to me. You weren’t giving me the opportunity to remember how much I enjoyed your company.’
Gabriel spun his ring, uncomfortable with admitting he cared for her and missed her when she had yet to tell him she felt anything close to that about him. Early in their marriage he could see she had genuine affection for him. He thought he’d sensed those feels returning. Perhaps he was wrong.
‘Yes,’ he continued, ‘I do believe you were attempting to pick the lock to my desk and, yes, we did discuss that carriage and the box, but my wanting to be with you has nothing to do with that.’
It now appeared it was her turn to search for the right words to express herself. ‘I like you, Gabriel, I do, but I do not trust you.’
The absurdity of her not trusting him when all along he had never trusted her almost made him laugh. If neither of them trusted the other they had no chance of being happy together. Prinny was her dear friend. She would never want to see him harmed. It was time she knew the truth. ‘There is something I need to tell you, Olivia, but before I do, I need you to swear you will not reveal what I am about to say to anyone.’
‘That’s a bit dramatic, wouldn’t you say?’ But when he remained silent, waiting for her agreement, she must have realised his earnestness. Her eyes searched his. ‘Very well, I swear.’
He gestured to the chairs beside them and they both sat down.
‘Do you remember the day my father died? No, wait, it began before that. It started when I was a child.’
Confusion crossed her brow.
‘My father had very strong opinions about the French Revolution. He had a deep-seated