to her. The things I still wanted to do to her.
Wrong. All wrong.
The flush died out of her face and the shine leached from her eyes. ‘Yeah, I have a few. But I—’
‘Then I suggest you go do them.’ I looked sightlessly down at my computer screen.
I was being cruel and I knew it. But it was the quickest way to get her out of here and away from me.
The itch was scratched. I didn’t need to scratch it any more.
There was a silence and I thought for a minute that she’d gone.
But this was Poppy and naturally she never missed an opportunity to challenge me.
‘So that’s it?’ Her hands slapped down on the edge of my desk. ‘You tell me you’ve wanted me for years, get me to admit something I’m personally ashamed of, fuck me across your goddamn desk and then act like nothing happened? Like I’m supposed to go back to my “tasks” like a good girl?’ Her voice shook. ‘You asshole!’
I was, yes. A complete asshole. But that was the best way—the only way—to handle this. If she thought I was an asshole she’d leave it at that and we’d go back to sniping at each other the way we always did.
And she’ll never find out just what a real bastard you are.
I looked up and met her furious gaze. ‘You want to be a good girl? Then finish the tasks I set you.’
She stared at me a long moment, angry flags of colour staining her exquisitely carved cheekbones. But beneath that anger I could see something else moving in the molten copper of her eyes.
Hurt.
You prick.
I closed myself off from it, shut myself down. The way I did after I found out that Seven, that stray I’d looked after for six months when I’d been ten, had been run over.
I’d loved that dog and after she’d died I’d discovered white fur on the tyre and blood on the bumper of my father’s car. The first lie I’d discovered. The one he’d told me when I’d asked him for help looking for Seven because I couldn’t find her, and he promised me he’d help me find her. All the while knowing he’d been the one to kill her.
I’d cried like a baby when I’d found out that Dad had run her over, because he didn’t like me having something that took my focus away from ‘family business’. Even a stray dog.
It had been a hard lesson, though I’d learned it and learned it well. If you didn’t have anything to care for then it couldn’t be taken from you or used to manipulate you, and that, in the end, was for the best.
I was the stronger for it, that much I did know, and I wasn’t putting that at risk by claiming something I’d never be able to keep.
Something like Poppy.
‘Did you have another question?’ I asked coldly, hammering another nail in that coffin.
She shoved herself away from my desk. ‘Nope, guess not.’
I knew she was trying to be nonchalant, but I could see the vulnerable curve of her bottom lip and the slight quiver in it.
My chest tightened.
Goddammit.
‘Poppy,’ I began, not really sure of what I was going to say, but she got in first.
‘Better get back to those “tasks”.’ She drew the last word out, making it sound as if it tasted like poison. ‘Thanks for the fuck.’
‘Poppy,’ I said again.
But she was already turning around and striding to the door of my office. She pulled it open and walked through and I braced myself for a slam.
It didn’t come. She shut it gently and somehow that was worse.
Somehow it felt like she was closing something inside of me at the same time.
I tried to bury myself in that goddamn spreadsheet for the rest of the afternoon, but I couldn’t concentrate.
She was just outside my door, sitting in that seat, with her lovely skin and soft hair. With her beautiful body. Doing the tasks I’d set her. Wanting more from me and not getting it.
I could feel the pull towards her, the urge to go out there and get her to come back inside my office. The urge to order her to take off her clothes and kneel before me, take my cock in her mouth and suck me.
It would turn her on, get her off.
It would be what we both wanted.
Fuck.
Towards the end of the afternoon, the door of my office abruptly opened and Leon, my middle brother, walked in.
I was pacing near the meeting table by the window, the printouts spread across it. I’d thought moving from my desk to the table would help my concentration, but apparently not.
‘Christ,’ I snapped. ‘Don’t you know how to knock?’
He gave me a grin and wandered over to one of the chairs near the table, sitting down in a lazy sprawl. ‘Where’s Poppy? Wasn’t she supposed to be working here today?’
I looked towards the door of my office, though it was closed. ‘She’s not out there?’
‘Nope.’ Leon glanced at his watch. ‘Then again, it is six o’clock, so she’s probably gone home.’
I turned away, moving over to the windows.
So she’d gone, and without saying goodbye.
Irrational disappointment joined my ever-present simmering anger, though I didn’t know what I’d expected. I’d been a prick to her, which made her coming in to let me know she was leaving incredibly unlikely.
‘She’d better have stayed till five,’ I growled, staring at the view outside.
There was a silence.
‘You seem to be bothered,’ Leon drawled. ‘Anything in particular bothering you? No, wait, I can guess. A million bucks says it’s Poppy.’
I glowered out of the window. ‘You’ve been talking to Ajax, haven’t you?’
‘I don’t need Ajax to tell me when the issue is a woman. Believe me, I know all about that.’
He probably did. He’d got married not too long ago to a brilliant chemist and had been in a revoltingly good mood ever since.
‘Did you want something, Leon? Because I’ve got something important I need to finish up.’
‘A word of advice.’
‘That I didn’t ask for.’
‘Don’t be a dick,’ Leon continued, ignoring me. ‘You two sniping at each other instead of talking is ridiculous.’
I gritted my teeth. ‘Rich coming from you.’
‘I realise that,’ he admitted. ‘But... Vita has helped me see things a bit differently.’
‘I have work to do. I don’t need to hear about your personal realisations.’
Leon laughed, which was unexpected. ‘I’ve been there, Xan, believe me. Right where you are now and it’s hell. But for what it’s worth...’ I could hear him getting to his feet. ‘You should pull out the stick that’s up your ass and go talk to her. Sort this bullshit out once and for all.’
I said nothing, not even bothering to turn around.
I didn’t want to talk to her. There were other things I wanted to do instead.
‘What did she ever do to you?’ Leon asked after a moment. ‘Or is this all because you want to fuck her? Because Jesus, Xan, you’re