‘Did she tell you then who the father was?’
‘When pressed.’
‘Did you suspect?’ Victoria asked.
‘Not even for a moment,’ Dominic said. ‘Even when she said that it was Jamie, I was trying to think who we knew by that name. That it must be a colleague or a friend. Even when she said, “Jamie,” I didn’t straight away think of him. How stupid is that?’
‘Not stupid,’ Victoria said.
It showed the depth of the breach of trust.
‘What did you do?’
‘I told her she could take a taxi and I wished her the best—not very politely though. Then I went and met with Jamie. I’d like to say I did the macho thing and we had a fight, but...’ He shook his head. ‘My brother had a car accident when he was ten. I was there when he nearly died. I just couldn’t bring myself...’
And Victoria could see the conflict on his face; she thought of all the bloody, testosterone-fuelled fights she’d seen in her line of work and admired that he’d held back.
‘Jamie was crying and carrying on like an overgrown bairn. He said that he loved her, that as soon as they saw the other, they both knew and neither knew what to do.’
And she closed her eyes for a moment, because it wasn’t such a torrid tryst after all. It was really rather sad.
‘Do you still love her?’
‘No.’
Did she believe him? Victoria didn’t know.
Did it matter?
Yes.
It did to her. But though bold in her questions about his brother, Victoria wasn’t so bold with her heart.
‘I said that I’d leave it to him to tell our parents.’ Dominic gave a resigned shrug. ‘I basically walked out on my life.’
‘You’ve been back though?’ Victoria checked.
‘No.’
‘But you’ve just been in Scotland.’
‘I didn’t see my family though.’
And that unnerved her.
It truly did.
That he had walked out on his life, and that even all these months later, they were still estranged.
‘What about your parents?’ she asked.
‘We’ve spoken on the phone but they just want it to be put to one side. They don’t want to discuss it. They just want it forgotten and for things to go back to the way they were.’
‘So what were you doing in Scotland?’
‘Thinking.’
And so, too, was Victoria.
All she could see was a man who had walked away. ‘Weren’t you the one who told me to fight for what’s important?’
‘I’m doing so,’ Dominic responded. ‘It doesn’t have to be with fists.’
‘I’m not talking about physically fighting, but they’re your family.’
‘And I’m doing my best to sort it out, but I’m not a person who just rushes in. I believe that if you say all is forgiven, then you need to mean it. I can’t say I’m there yet.’
As Victoria went quiet Dominic called for the bill.
Yet it wasn’t just a lull in the conversation, or that the restaurant was near to closing—her silence ran deeper.
As they drove home all she could think of was her mother, turning her back on her own family. Oh, she knew Dominic had far better reasons, but to have completely walked away from everyone he loved, for Victoria it was deeply unsettling.
All the hope of a lovely evening had been left back at the restaurant and Victoria now just wanted to be alone.
‘Thanks for a nice night.’
She didn’t ask him up and it did not end in a kiss.
Victoria looked at him and all she could see was a man who had abandoned everything he had professed to love.
And so she ended things with her usual lack of flare.
‘I’ll see you at work.’
‘Victoria—’
‘Let’s just keep it at that,’ Victoria said, and when he reached for her arms, she pulled away. ‘Please, Dominic, stay back. I want to focus on the pregnancy and I just don’t have space right now for anything else.’
That was the longest speech she had ever given to a man when she broke off things, but she knew it wasn’t really enough.
Still, he did not push for more explanation and she was grateful for that. A kiss, or attempts at persuasion, would only further confuse her.
Victoria let herself into her flat and the gorgeous scent of freesias greeted her.
She undressed and got into the cold, new sheets and just lay there.
He had loved Lorna, she was sure of that—they had been living together, having a baby together.
Victoria ached for that glimpse of him—she truly did—but knew it was not hers to see.
They were being forced together by default.
She knew he was an honourable man and might want to do the right thing, or at the very least give it a go.
And of course Dominic had said that he no longer loved Lorna, but what if he still did?
What if that was the real reason for leaving Edinburgh so completely?
Victoria had been honest when she’d told Dominic that she didn’t know how to make relationships work.
How on earth could this one?
He had only asked her out in the first place because she was pregnant.
What if Lorna decided she had changed her mind? Victoria pondered.
Or what if Victoria gave them a go and then it was Dominic who decided things weren’t working out?
Victoria could not stand to fall for him only to be hurt further down the line when later he left.
And he would.
Victoria had nothing in her life to indicate otherwise.
It was safer to face parenthood alone.
She trusted only in herself.
SHE WAS HER usual confident self at work and did not try to avoid him.
In fact, Victoria met his eyes when she handed over patients and didn’t dash off.
Perhaps she actually wanted to be a single parent, Dominic pondered.
Some women did.
He knew that Victoria was incredibly independent and she had told him that she didn’t really do well with relationships.
Yet, he wanted a chance for them, and more and more he was getting used to the idea of being a father.
Not in the rush-out-and-buy-the-books way this time.
He was starting to feel the fear.
He saw her leave the department and Dominic followed her out. He knew they would be making up the vehicle and sure enough there were Victoria and Glen.
She was sitting in the back drinking tea poured from a silver flask; it was the only