I needed to get out of there. ‘Honestly, if you don’t stop talking about sex instead of doing it, I’m going to have to sleep with you. It’s getting really boring.’
‘You should have just said.’ Jenny looked stung. ‘I didn’t realize I was boring you.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said quickly. ‘I didn’t mean that. Ignore me.’
‘No, please go on,’ Jenny’s mood flipped. ‘Tell me more about my problems.’
‘No, I’m not saying what I mean,’ I sighed, my brain too messy to make sense. ‘It’s just that, well, you do keep talking about it an awful lot without actually doing it. And it’s not like you can’t just pull someone, is it?’
‘Did it occur to you that maybe I don’t actually want to sleep with some random guys?’ Jenny asked. With me in her heels and her in my flats, I towered over her, but clearly she could kick my ass at any height.
I paused for a moment. ‘No?’
‘Well maybe it should.’
‘But everything you said?’ I rubbed my forehead.
‘Jesus, Angie, for someone so smart, you really are so dumb when it comes to guy stuff.’ She folded her arms tightly. ‘Do you honestly expect me to stand here making you feel better because some hot guy is throwing himself at you while your devoted boyfriend breaks his heart over you back at home? You want me to make you feel better because you have two guys after you while I can’t even keep one?’
Jenny pushed past me and threw herself into the crowd, towards the door. She was right, I was incredibly stupid, but not just at boy stuff. I wasn’t terribly good at girl stuff either. The bar was so busy, I could only just see the top of her hair weaving through the crowd on the way to the door before she vanished.
‘Genius, Angela,’ I muttered to myself, all alone in the middle of the packed bar. I didn’t know what to do. There was only one thought that was crystal clear and that was my growing need to pee. I pushed my way through to the toilet and rapped on the closed door.
‘Hello,’ I shouted over the music, ‘is anyone in there?’ No one was answering but the door was stuck and my last martini was not prepared to hang around and see if anyone came out in a couple of minutes. Better to be embarrassed at seeing someone else having a wee rather than have everyone in the bar see me wet myself, I figured. I looked around quickly before grabbing the handle and giving the door a quick bash with my hip. For the first time since I walked into Bar Marmont, I thanked the lord that I was a size 12.
The door gave more easily than I had expected and I tumbled through backside first, losing my balance. I closed my eyes and held my hands out to avoid spending any more time face first on a toilet floor, but instead of hitting the wall, I felt something warm. And human.
‘What the fuck are you doing?’ demanded a gruff voice as I span and smacked my eye straight into the door handle.
‘OhmygodImsosorry,’ I squealed, trying to get out but my stupid heels wouldn’t let me move fast enough. My eye throbbed as I fumbled for the handle but the door had got stuck shut again. I just had to get out of there.
‘Angela?’
I froze on the spot and wondered if there was any chance I could actually will myself backwards in time. Of course it wasn’t a stranger that I had just busted getting hot and heavy in a toilet, that would be too easy. Of course it was James. And of course everyone would assume I’d come in here to join in. But if he wasn’t in here with me, who the hell did he have pressed up against the wall?
‘Oh shit.’
I opened my eyes slowly. Standing close to James, hands lost in his brown curls, the same curls I’d been twirling around my fingers minutes ago, was a very flustered-looking Blake. And while James had managed not to give me stubble burn when he kissed me, Blake wasn’t quite so talented. James’s smooth tanned jaw line was red raw, his eyes wide and dark.
‘I–I have to pee,’ I said, stunned. Without words, Blake’s arms dropped to his sides. He looked from me to James and then back again before shoving me out of his way (which really only left into the wall) and yanking the toilet door open.
‘Angela, I can explain,’ James said quietly. ‘It’s not what it looks like.’
‘I really need to pee,’ I repeated, staring at the floor.
‘Right, OK.’ James wiped his mouth hastily. ‘I’ve, erm, called the car for you. And I’ll wait outside. I should explain or something. I want to explain. I’ll just wait outside.’
James closed the door carefully behind him but I still couldn’t move. As if I needed more evidence that Jenny was right. I really was stupid when it came to boys.
Eventually I snapped out of my trance, peed and washed my hands, but I really didn’t want to go back out into the bar. What was I going to say? What was James going to say? And was Blake actually going to be done with it and murder me now? I just couldn’t quite believe what I’d seen.
I stared at myself in the mirror. Not a good sight. My hair was a total mess, my eyeliner was smudged halfway down my face and apparently shock did nothing for my complexion. I’d never seen myself look so pale. I took my Stila convertible colour out of my bag. Perhaps if I looked better, I’d feel better. I smudged the fuchsia pink onto my cheeks and lips. Or perhaps I’d look like a very surprised clown. I felt so stupid. How could I not have seen this?
Opening the toilet door and crossing everything I could in the hope that James and Blake had left, I headed back into the bar. There they were, standing opposite me, James looking absolutely terrified, Blake with a surprisingly blasé look on his face. He raised an eyebrow at me, whispered something to James and then left.
‘So,’ James pressed his lips into a thin line. The lips I’d kissed. The lips that had kissed Blake.
I stood and stared at the floor.
‘Angela, we have to talk about this,’ he went on.
‘No, really, we don’t,’ I replied. I just wanted to be away from him. I wanted to be back at home, wrapped up in my duvet with Alex.
‘Angela, please.’ He stepped forward and held out his hand, but I shot back. It was too much, I needed to leave.
‘James, please, I just want to go home,’ I said, shrinking away from his hands and starting out through the bar. I’d got as far as the door before he came after me.
‘Wait!’ James shouted. Everyone between him, me and the door stopped everything they were doing and stared. He made the space up between us in moments. ‘We have to talk about what you – what you think you saw,’ he added quietly.
‘You mean you kissing Blake?’ I asked.
James went slightly grey and pushed me out through the door.
‘Please, don’t,’ he said, putting a firm arm around my shoulders.
‘What? You weren’t kissing Blake?’ I tried to shake him off. ‘Let me guess, you were giving him mouth to mouth?’
‘Angela, honestly, there are people, paps, everywhere.’ James gestured to the street below us and tried to steer me towards a parked Lexus at the side of the road. ‘Just get in your car and I’ll explain.’
‘Explain that you were kissing Blake?’ I asked.
The pack of paps at the bottom of the stairs all turned together.
‘James, over here!’ one of them sniped behind a sea of popping flashbulbs. ‘Give us a smile?’
‘Well?’ I stopped on the steps and shrugged. ‘Are you going to tell them or am I?’
‘Why don’t you tell us, honey?’ he called back. ‘We’ve heard James’s side of the story a whole bunch of times before.’