shaking as he’d touched her, reached to find a pulse. Even when he’d felt the steady thump, thump of blood pounding through her body it’d taken minutes for his panic to back off. He didn’t want to lose Sophie. Not now. Not ever.
He wasn’t making a lot of sense with this. Who would in the circumstances? If only Sophie would get out of his head, give him quiet time when he wasn’t actually with her. But no. She was in there, tap-tapping away at his resolve to remain uninvolved, making him resent her for getting him in a lather over everything. She was forcing him to face up to his mother’s suicide and how he hadn’t forgiven her for deserting him.
If his mum had got help for her obsessive, compulsive excessive disorder his life would’ve been so different. All their lives would’ve been different. He might even be able to fall in love without thinking up a hundred reasons why that was bad for him and the other person involved.
Cooper stopped to stare out a window onto the motorway below. What if he stopped fighting this? Gave up and took things as they occurred? Dealt with imagined shootings and lack of kicks systematically? Helped Sophie move into that grot box of an apartment instead of trying to talk her out of it? Surely then he’d get past these feelings of need, of wanting to spend more time with her. Emotions that came from his desire to do the right thing, nothing else.
Get it? Nothing else.
‘Cooper? That you?’ a woman called from somewhere further down the corridor.
He recognised the sultry voice instantly. ‘Svetlana, good to see you.’ The last person he wanted right this minute.
She reached him and wrapped her arms around him. ‘Where have you been? I’ve missed you.’
‘Oh, you know. Offshore with the army.’ He shrugged out of the hug. ‘You’re looking as lovely as ever.’ Yuk. How crass. That speculative gleam in Svetlana’s eyes needed a dose of cold reality fast, not encouragement. He knew how she operated, had been a willing participant in the past, but was not interested now.
Her smile widened and her tongue peeked out at the corner of her mouth. ‘Army life has been good for you.’ She squeezed his biceps.
Cooper took another step back. What had he seen in her? Uncomplicated sex. The only answer. They’d had some fun encounters, yet now he felt nothing, no frisson of excitement. Nothing. Just an image of Sophie shimmering in his mind. ‘Can’t complain.’
Svetlana followed, stepping closer, her cloying sweet perfume a thick cloud around her. ‘Want to have some fun tonight, or one night this week?’
‘Thanks, but I’m tied up all week.’ Come on. ‘In fact, I’m busy most of the time.’
She blinked rapidly. ‘You haven’t gone and got yourself all hooked up with a little wifey, now, have you?’ Her smirk suggested she knew full well what his answer would be.
No, he hadn’t. Wasn’t ever likely to. But that didn’t mean he was available for a quick romp either.
You always have been in the past.
Exactly. In the past. Not now. Not since—Sophie.
‘Nice catching up, Svetlana.’ He deliberately glanced at his watch. ‘I’m running late for an appointment. See you around.’
Cooper strode away, feeling guilty for his abrupt dismissal but also relieved to be away from the woman. Unfortunately there’d be no avoiding her completely since her white coat with the stethoscope hanging from the pocket suggested she worked here. Obviously she still overdid wearing the gear even when not required so as to show who and what she was.
Unlike Dr Ingram. Happy to wear fatigues or shorts and T-shirt, Sophie preferred casual in her approach to doctoring. Until she was with a patient, and then everyone knew her role. That day in Bamiyan she’d taken charge of caring for Kelly, calm despite her shock, completely cognisant of the medical details despite the fear in her eyes. Everyone who had worked on Kelly had settled into doing their jobs quickly—all because of Sophie’s professional and quiet manner.
Even him. For a moment after the explosion when the bullets had started to fly he’d been terrified for his life, and for that of the beautiful woman he’d met only minutes earlier. He’d leapt to cover her body, fearful of either of them taking a direct hit, and once they had been back on their feet the shakes had set in. If not for Sophie he might’ve run screaming for the hills. Okay, maybe not. But it would’ve taken him a lot longer to settle down enough to help the wounded without leaping into the air at every loud noise.
He turned into the surgical unit and went to find Shaun Langford, the head of department and former mentor from his years specialising right here.
‘Hi, Cooper. We’re looking forward to working with you again,’ a nurse told him, and the receptionist nodded in agreement.
‘Thanks, ladies. It’s good to be back.’ It really was. So much so there was a spring in his step as he reached Shaun’s office. He was coming home, back to a place he’d enjoyed, where people he’d liked still worked, where he knew his role and gave it his all. Yeah, could be he’d made the right decision for his future without being aware of it.
So career move sorted. That only left his personal life.
* * *
Sophie sat back on her heels to admire the stacks of carefully folded baby clothes on her bedroom floor. ‘Not bad, if I say so myself.’
‘Talking to yourself is not a good sign.’
Cooper. Her skin heated at the sound of that gravelly voice. ‘You’re home early.’ There went her quiet time. Over the last two days she’d spent the afternoons pottering around his house, pretending she lived here, as in permanently, and loving every moment of it. Cooper had an eclectic collection of furniture that made her smile. There was endless redecorating required, yet it didn’t matter. The house was warm and cosy, like no place she’d lived in before.
As for all those images of the good-looking hunk standing beside her right now, they’d be the bane of her life, appearing too easily, often doing her head in. She needed to be getting her A into G and making the apartment ready to move into, but it seemed too much of an effort. Staying with Cooper was the soft option. And more exciting. There was also a certain closeness between them in the way he took her BP every morning, noted what she ate. He’d soon drive her crazy with all the attention and then she’d leave.
If she could. The sense of belonging that wrapped around her every time she came through the front door would be hard to walk away from. The essence of this house was Cooper. It said, Take me as I am. If that wasn’t Cooper Daniels, then what was?
Right now he was reaching a hand down to help her up off her haunches. ‘I haven’t officially started yet.’
Pushing to her feet, not an easy or pretty manoeuvre these days, she said, ‘So you go to the hospital first thing every day because I’m under your feet?’ If he stayed at home she might’ve got to work on her list. Baby furniture was an urgent requirement. If baby made her appearance now she’d be sorely in need of just about everything. Except clothes.
His hand fell away from her elbow. ‘Thought I’d go with you to the car yard, see if you can’t find something half-decent to get around in.’
‘That’s not necessary.’ She could find her own car—with the help of an Automobile Association mechanic. If she ever got around to arranging that.
‘You don’t want a car?’ He was being deliberately obtuse.
She could be likewise, hopefully keep him a little distant. ‘I’m aiming for a SUV.’
‘Then let’s go find you one.’
‘No, Cooper. This is mine to do.’ She was quite capable of finding her own vehicle, just not of doing it right away.
‘Fine. Then let’s go look at cots and beds and tables. At the moment your baby will be sleeping on the floor, and so will her mother.’