at her from the moment she’d gone into his office with her bold request.
Her gaze fell to the swollen curve of his lower lip and something fractured within her at the blazing passion of their kiss. The rightness of this moment between them. The reality of the future she wanted to build with him. Something that took wings and wanted to fly. “I want to do this the real way,” she blurted out, one of the biggest decisions of her life falling into place as easily as her next breath.
So easy, yes, but so, so right, too.
“What?” Leonardo looked at her with that penetrating gaze. Giving nothing away. Already retreating from that fracture in his impenetrable self-control.
Wanting you feels like...it has become a part of me.
A new sense of freedom ran through her limbs. There was a high in standing here, staring at him unabashedly, and glorying in it. In acknowledging her desire for this man.
His face one of those bulletproof masks that no one could break through. And that mask was doubled down right now. She was finally beginning to understand the real man beneath the larger than life figure she’d built in her head.
He’d been attentive and filled with concern from the moment she’d walked into his office. Playing the role of a man pursuing her perfectly for the public. At her back the whole evening tonight because he’d decided she needed protection from Mario. And she had no doubt he’d do the same for the rest of their lives with their child and, by extension, her.
Whatever she needed—physically, emotionally, mentally—he’d be there.
But to give her a part of him—to let down that guard that surrounded his mind and his heart, to show a little vulnerability—was unacceptable. To need her even in a small way was unacceptable. It would always remain a weakness.
That admission that he’d wanted her for a long time—had it been too much already?
She wondered if she’d have understood him so perfectly if she hadn’t built that same armor around herself for so long that she’d ended up choking herself within it.
The intense loneliness, the craving for connection, the long, silent nights blending into farcically busy days, always alone, even in crowds... She was finally breaking through those chains she’d bound herself with and she wasn’t going back into them willingly.
She wanted to live her life. She wanted this man. She wanted to create a child with him doing what would bring them both incredible pleasure.
There wasn’t a moment’s doubt in her mind that what she was starting tonight had a very definite endpoint. Having that endpoint made it easy to push away her fears. Leonardo and she were rational adults with very clear boundaries.
“I want to conceive our child the traditional way.”
When he stared back in mute silence, she huffed, “You. Me. Sex, Leonardo.”
LEO JUST STARED, his mind filled up with images of their naked limbs tangled, slick and moving together. The woman he’d wanted forever, finally within his reach.
He shook his head, as if he could simply dislodge those images. “You’ve had a very emotional evening.” He ran the pad of his forefinger gently over the dark shadows under her eyes. Amazed by her resilience and the strength of her resolve. Aroused by the boldness of her gaze. “On top of a manic two weeks. On top of a stressful last decade.”
“Leo—”
“Tomorrow, you’ll regret it. Tomorrow, you’ll panic that we’ve blurred the lines. I will not take advantage of a weak moment.”
She pulled back, a flare of anger in her eyes. “Ah...this is you being all honorable and letting me down gently, isn’t it? I’m a big girl, Leo. I can take it.”
“I have no idea what you mean.”
“Just say you’re not interested in sleeping with me. Especially after learning that I’m not as rational and robotically perfect as you thought I was,” she said, a flash of self-doubt in her eyes.
“Maledizione! You think I could want you less because you stuck to your guns in the face of emotional blackmail from the one person who should be protecting you from that bully Mario? You think years of want goes away in a single evening? If only it were that easy, bella.”
Silence descended on them, fraught with the energy of an attraction that was all out in the open now. She licked her lips, the pulse at her neck drumming away madly. “I believe you. Now will you do me the courtesy of taking me at my word?”
“I always have.”
“Good. I feel as if the fog I’ve been living in is finally lifting. I’m sick of living afraid, always calculating risks, always worried about the outcome. I hate that I let Mario win all these years. I hate that I’ve used him as an excuse to give up so many things that give me joy, pleasure, excitement.”
But no more.
“I want to leave all thoughts of ovulation kits and basal temperatures and IVF out of this. I want to conceive our child doing what I desperately want.”
Her husky demand carried over the damp air currents in the greenhouse, the naked want in it echoing around them. And Leo knew his reasoning capability was crumbling to dust. That in the face of her bold demand and perfectly outlined reasons and the heat of their kiss singing through his veins, he was going to give in. Still, he looked for reasons to make sure this was exactly what she wanted.
“You can’t do this because you’re angry with him.”
“Let me come closer.”
Neha kicked at his feet and he spread his legs apart in response and she moved into the gap, closer and closer until her thighs grazed his hard thighs and the tip of her breasts were a mere inch away from his chest and the deepening scent of his skin filled her nostrils.
She moved her fingers from his chest—his racing heart gave her courage—up the corded column of his neck, to the raw stubble already coming in at his jaw, winding around his neck until her nails were sinking into the rough hair at his neck, scraping at his scalp. Digging for purchase. Determined to stay.
She bent closer, her mouth inching toward his. His hands stayed on her shoulders, pressing lightly, stopping her from covering that last bit of distance between them.
“If you think this is some twisted way to get back at Mario or a petty rebellion against my mum, you’ve got it all wrong.” She shook his hands off her shoulders and pressed up snug against him. Heat and hardness, he was a perfect fit for her, and she shuddered at how good it felt. “I had a huge crush on that hot twenty-year-old who walked into my life that day. In a parallel universe, I grabbed that boy, and planted a kiss on him that sent him to his knees. If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be to go after that guy.”
She wiggled against him, trying to get closer, and he cursed softly. She felt his arousal against her belly, incontrovertible proof that sent shivers up and down her spine. Her lips close to his, she licked at the corner of his mouth. “This is all about me and you, Leo. I want this for no other reason than I need to desperately know how it will feel to have you inside me.”
“Let me look at you, then, cara mia.”
Neha pulled back from him, her heart still racing. Her body already mourning the loss of warmth from his. “What?”
“That damp T-shirt has been tormenting me ever since I walked in.” Wicked light filled his eyes—a flash of that Leo he must have been before he’d had to bear the burden of the Brunetti legacy. “I should very much like to see you properly.”
“You mean...here?”
“Sì.”