Rebel, one of the nurses. I…discovered Eric…in the back of your car.”
“No, you didn’t.” Amanda shook her head in denial and jerked her hand away from Rebel. “He’s at daycare.” Amanda placed a trembling hand over her mouth and tears spilled from her eyes as trickles of the truth emerged from her subconscious. “You’re scaring me now.” Amanda looked around the room, at the glaring overhead lights, at the medical equipment, at the IV in her arm. Then she took a deep breath.
The wail that followed emerged straight from her soul.
The hair on Duncan’s neck twitched in reaction to the agonizing cry no amount of comfort could touch. He looked at his newest coworker.
Tears overflowed Rebel’s eyes as she stood with hands clenched in front of her. Even the cop turned away.
“N-o-o-o. No. No. No.” She hopped off the gurney, her eyes wild. “You people are crazy! His dad always drops him off.” Her breathing came hard and fast.
“Amanda. Think back to this morning. Was there a change in your routine? Did you deviate…?” Rebel asked questions designed to trigger her memory.
“No!” She pointed a finger at Rebel. “Wait till I call my husband. He’s a lawyer, and he’ll…My husband…is…sick…today.” Amanda collapsed to her knees. Sobs croaked out of her in an unrelenting torrent of realization.
Rebel knelt beside her. “What happened? Can you tell me?”
“His office has daycare.” She huffed in a few breaths. “He always takes Eric. Always.”
“And he’s home sick today?”
Amanda nodded, then slumped over onto the floor. “I killed my son! Oh, God, I killed my son.”
“Eric is alive, Amanda. He’s not dead.”
Amanda sat up and grabbed Rebel by the shoulders. “You found him in time?” She hauled Rebel into an exuberant hug. “Oh, my God.” Now, sobs of relief overflowed. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
Rebel placed her arms around Amanda and looked at Duncan. Those beautiful green eyes of hers pleaded for his help and something inside him emerged. Whether it was the trained physician in him, the male protector of women and children, or he was just reacting to the pain in Rebel’s face, he didn’t know. He just knew he had to respond.
“Amanda, sit up. I’ll tell you about Eric, then we’ll take you to see him.” He assisted her to her feet, protecting Rebel from being overwhelmed. He offered a hand down to Rebel and brought her by his side. His instinct was to place his arm around her waist, to shield her from the pain they both knew was yet to come, knowing the story before it was even told. Instead, he took Rebel’s hand and led her to a chair. She was pale and her hand was clammy. Though she didn’t look it on the outside, he knew she was having great difficulty with this situation. Officially she wasn’t even an employee, and she’d gone above and beyond what was expected of her. She could just as easily have walked away, but she hadn’t. What heart she must have.
Duncan placed his hands on the shoulders of the sobbing woman. This was going to bite. “Amanda, pull yourself together. You need to be strong for Eric. Now take a breath and stop crying.”
In a few minutes she’d managed to subdue her emotions. Tears still dribbled from her eyes, but she could look at him. That was a start.
As the noon hour approached, Rebel felt about a hundred years older than her actual thirty. Days like this were why people left healthcare. Some days being a nurse just wasn’t worth it.
She’d been sitting outside the PICU where Eric had been taken. She didn’t know why, but she didn’t want to leave just yet. Dr. McHunky had taken the mother inside to see Eric.
Rebel had plopped herself into a chair outside the unit and hadn’t been able to get up. Sitting outside an intensive care unit brought back so many overwhelming memories it shut her down. For years she’d been an unwilling participant in her family’s inherited illness, Huntington’s disease. Watching her brothers struggle to survive had forced her to grow up too quickly, to be too old too soon, to leave childhood behind too early. Events like today sucked her back in time to when she had been a frightened little girl watching her family be taken from her one by one.
The door to the unit swung open, and she shoved aside her past to dive into the present again. That’s what adrenal glands were for, right? Surges of adrenaline kept her going from one crisis to another in the ER, and that ability didn’t fail her now.
“So, how is he, Doctor?”
“It’s Duncan, please.” Though he patted her on the shoulder in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture, he looked as if he needed some comforting himself.
“Okay, Duncan. First tell me how he is then tell me how you are. You look like someone beat you with a hammer.” Lines of what could be grief or fatigue showed on his face. Though it was mid-morning, he looked like he’d been up all night.
A small smile twisted his lips and a little relief appeared in her eyes. Mission accomplished.
“I feel like someone beat me with a hammer.” He looked at his watch. “And it’s not even lunch yet.” He took a deep breath and let it out in a very long sigh. “I’ll be okay. I think. Eric’s critical, on a vent, the works. I’ve never seen so many tubes hooked up to a kid that size, and I thought I’d seen it all.”
“I’m so sorry.” She gave his arm a squeeze, intending to offer him some of the comfort she’d offer to any of her patients and families. His arm beneath her hand was warm and firm. Though this child wasn’t related to either of them, he was special and bonded the two of them together.
Duncan turned his dark-eyed focus fully on her, and she gulped at the intensity of him. When he focused on something, it was something else. His dark, dark eyes seemed to have no pupils. His aura nearly reached out to her, like some invisible cloak trying to cocoon her into its warmth.
“And how are you holding up?”
“I’m okay, I guess.” She shrugged. “Are you ever okay after an event like this?” She’d been through many traumas in her career as an ER nurse and some patient situations stuck with her, no matter how long ago they’d happened.
“You might want to go home. The paperwork for employment can wait until tomorrow.”
“I’m good, really—” Denial had gotten her through many tough situations in life, why not one more?
He gave her such a doctor look, knowing she wasn’t all right, knowing she’d been through the wringer today, and knowing she wasn’t telling the truth, that she actually felt a flash of shame.
“Rebel. We don’t always have time to shake off the vibes from work while in the midst of it. Take the time to relax and shake this off.” Duncan spoke like a man who had been on the front line of healthcare for a long time. That kind of experience didn’t come without a toll on the body and the psyche.
“Thanks. You’re right.” She nodded. “I usually like to meet with the charge nurse the day before I start and introduce myself to see who I’m going to be working with. Stuff like that.”
Duncan gave a snort as the elevator doors whooshed open. “I think you’ve had quite an introduction already. The entire staff knows who you are by now, so just go home. I’ll tell Herm.”
“If you’re sure it’s going to be okay…”
“It’ll be fine.” The elevators took them to the first floor, and they exited. “Today is an admin day for me, so I’m going to do the bare essentials and head to the gym. Always helps me blow off the stress of the day.”
“My apartment complex has a pool. Maybe I’ll take a swim.”
“Good idea. Don’t forget the sunscreen. At this elevation the rays are more intense. See you tomorrow.”