looking back.
‘How can you work things out if you go rushing off to another country? Surely you’ve punished Giles enough for his indiscretion?’ her mother continued, not at all deterred by anything Phoebe had said, nor by her imminent travel plans. ‘I’m certain he’s learnt his lesson.’
Phoebe tugged down her knitted hat, at risk of blowing away in a chilly gust, then made her way down the snow-speckled steps with her last suitcase and handed it to the cab driver, who had been tapping his foot impatiently on the kerb.
‘It isn’t a punishment, Mother. I ended it. I gave the ring back, returned the wedding presents and told Giles that I never want to see him again. It’s about as final as it gets. And I’ve thought this through until I’ve gone almost mad. You don’t seem to understand—I no longer love Giles and I don’t want to see him again. Ever. To be honest, I’m surprised that after everything he’s put me through you’d want him to have any part in my life.’
She paused as she looked long and hard at her mother, completely bemused that they saw the situation so very differently.
‘He’s not the man for me. I don’t know if there even is a man for me, but right now I’m not looking. I want to put all my energy into my work and I refuse to waste another second on Giles.’
With that said, Phoebe headed to the waiting cab. The headlights of the oncoming traffic were reflected on the icy road as night began to fall.
‘That seems so harsh. He really does regret his behaviour. His mother told me so over our bridge game yesterday,’ her mother continued as she followed Phoebe, her pace picking up with each step. ‘Please see reason, Phoebe. Giles is committed to making it up to you. He’s apparently not at all his usual jovial, outgoing self at the moment. He’s taken the postponement very seriously. Esme said he’s quite sullen, and that’s not like him. She thinks he’s turned over a new, more responsible leaf. He’s sown his last wild oat.’
She placed her gloved hand over Phoebe’s as her daughter reached for the door handle of the cab. Stepping closer, she dropped her voice almost to a whisper.
‘Darling, you could do worse. Giles is so very handsome—and let’s not forget his family tree. His ancestors arrived on the Mayflower.’
Phoebe rolled her eyes in horror that her perfectly coiffed mother, dressed in her favourite New York designer’s latest winter collection, was pulling out both the looks and the ancestry cards. She watched the driver close the trunk, walk to his door and climb inside.
Pulling her hand free, she responded in an equally low voice. ‘Let me see … My sulking but extremely good-looking ex-fiancé, with his impeccable lineage, is apparently committed to me but isn’t averse to sleeping with other women. Please, Mother, let’s not try to paint him as something he isn’t. I don’t think he is capable of loving anyone but himself, and I don’t believe for a minute that he’s turned over a new leaf. And, frankly, I don’t care. He ruined any chance of us being husband and wife when he chose to cheat on me.’
She kissed her mother goodbye and climbed into the cab, then dropped the window to hear the last of her mother’s not so wise words.
‘Darling, as your grandmother always said, every man is entitled to one big mistake in life.’
‘He slept with both of my bridesmaids the weekend before our wedding—that’s not one big mistake … that’s two enormous, deal-breaking mistakes!’ Phoebe’s voice was no longer soft or controlled and she didn’t mind if the cab driver heard. Her frustration had limited her ability to care.
‘If you want to be technical, it’s two…. but couldn’t you see fit to consider it Giles’s one weekend of poor judgement and call it the same mistake?’
The cab pulled away and Phoebe slumped back into the cold leather seat. Over the rattling of the engine she heard her mother’s parting words.
‘Darling, don’t forget—Christmas is a time for forgiveness.’
Phoebe was abruptly stirred from her unpleasant recollection of the pointless argument that had occurred less than twenty-four hours previously. An impeccably groomed flight attendant was standing beside her seat, accompanied by a young girl in a lime-green sweater and matching pants, with a mass of golden curls, a red headband and a big smile. Everything about her was a little too bright for Phoebe at the end of a long-haul flight.
The little helper reached across to Phoebe with a basket of cellophane-wrapped candy. ‘If you chew something it will stop your ears getting blocked when we land. Would you like one?’
Phoebe wasn’t sure what she wanted, but politely smiled and accepted a sweet. She would never hurt a child’s feelings. She had no idea what Phoebe had been put through, and she envied her innocence just a little. The young girl had no idea that boys grew into cads.
‘Thank you,’ she said, and as the pair moved on to the next passenger Phoebe unwrapped the candy and slipped it into her mouth.
She wasn’t sure of anything. She should be a happily married woman back from an eight-week honeymoon in Europe, but instead she was a single woman about to arrive in the land Down Under. And this trip was probably the first of many she would make on her own.
Midway over the Pacific Ocean she had looked out of her tiny window into complete darkness. It had represented her life … the huge unknown.
The very thought of ever trusting a man again was ludicrous. She would more than likely see out her days as a spinster, she’d told herself as she had flicked through the choices of inflight entertainment when the rest of the passengers had been sound asleep. Her head had been much too busy thinking about things that she knew she couldn’t change, and her thoughts had been as unrelenting as they’d been painful.
All men were the same—well, except for her father, she had reminded herself, as she’d realised there was nothing she’d wanted to watch on her personal screen and pulled down her satin night mask to try and shut out the world. He was one of the last decent men and then they broke the mould.
Susy, her best friend since junior college, who had left Washington two years previously to work as a barrister for the Crown Prosecution Service in London, agreed with her. She had sworn off relationships after her last disastrous rendezvous three months prior.
Men were not worth the effort or the heartbreak, the two friends had decided over a late-night international call before Phoebe’s flight. They’d both eaten copious amounts of ice cream in different time zones as they’d commiserated. Susy had been devouring her feel-good salted caramel treat after returning home from a long day in court, while Phoebe had been scraping the melted remnants of her cookies and cream ice cream at just past midnight, Washington time.
‘They’re just not worth it,’ Susy had said into the phone as she’d dropped her empty bowl and spoon on the coffee table, kicked off her shoes and reached for a throw.
‘Absolutely not worth even a second of our time,’ Phoebe had agreed. ‘They are full of baloney—and I’m not talking about the good Italian mortadella. I’m talking the cheap and nasty supermarket kind of baloney.’
‘My sentiments exactly.’
‘Men and women shouldn’t even be on the same planet.’
‘Not even the same universe,’ Susy had replied, reaching for the bowl of luxury candies her mother had sent over for her recent birthday. She’d still been suffering from post-break-up sugar cravings. ‘I think the entire male race should be banished. Except for your dad, though, Phoebs—John’s a real sweetie, so he can stay. Mine hasn’t called since my birthday, so he can take a jet to another planet for a while with the rest of them.’
Not long after their decision to relocate the earth’s male population Phoebe had felt her eyes getting heavy and had said goodnight to her friend. She was glad she had such a wonderful friend, but very sad that they had both been hurt by callous men. She had no clue why they had both been dealt bad men cards,