staring at the ceiling and worrying over every little thought. Wide awake.
But tonight she felt tired. Ready for her bed even without a sleeping pill. It surprised her.
Nathan started the engine. ‘Let’s take you home. Our little trip out lasted longer than either of us expected.’
‘That’s okay. I’d only have been awake anyway. At least this way I was put to good use.’
‘You’ve not been sleeping for some time?’
She shook her head and looked away from him, out of the window. ‘No.’
He seemed to ruminate on this for a while, but then he changed the subject. ‘Good thing I didn’t get any more house calls.’
That was true. What would he have done if he’d got a page to say that someone was having chest pains whilst he’d been helping Helen? They’d been lucky. All of them.
It was nice and warm in Nathan’s car as he drove them steadily back to Silverdale. For the first time Sydney felt the silence between them was comfortable. She didn’t need to fill the silence with words. Or to feel awkward. The circumstances of the emergency had thrown them together and something intangible had changed.
It felt nice to be sitting with someone like that. Even if it was with a man she had at first disliked immensely.
A jolt in the road startled her, and she realised she’d almost nodded off. She sucked in a breath, shocked that she’d felt comfortable enough to fall asleep.
She glanced at Nathan just as he glanced at her, and they both quickly looked away.
Sydney smiled.
It was beginning to feel more than nice.
It was beginning to feel good.
Nathan pulled up outside Sydney’s cottage and killed the engine. He looked out at the dark, empty street, lit only by one or two streetlamps, and watched as a cat sneaked across the road and disappeared under a hedge after being startled by his engine.
Despite the accident he’d had a good time tonight. It had felt really good to spend time with Sydney, and he felt they’d cleared the air after their misunderstandings at their first meeting and the awkward coffee.
Turning up at her door to ask for help with directions had almost been a step too far for him. He’d joked about asking her for her help, but when he’d tried to find Eleanor’s cottage on his own his stupid GPS had made him turn down a very narrow farming lane and asked him to drive through a muddy field! He’d got out and checked that there wasn’t a farmhouse or something near, where he might ask for help, but there’d been nothing. Just fields. And mud. Plenty of mud!
He’d argued with himself about going to her house. Almost not gone there at all. He knew her address. He’d seen it on his computer at work and for some reason it had burnt itself into his brain. She didn’t live far from her place of work, so it had been easy to find her, but he hadn’t known what sort of reception he’d get. She might have slammed the door in his face.
He’d felt awkward asking for help, but thankfully she’d agreed to go with him, and it had been nice to have her with him in his car, just chatting. It had been a very long time since he’d done that with anyone. The last time had been with Gwyneth. She’d always talked when they were driving—pointing things out, forming opinions on people or places that they passed. Her judgemental approach had made him realise just how insecure she’d been, and he’d done his best to try and make her feel good about herself.
Tonight, Sydney had been invaluable at the accident site—something he knew Gwyneth would never have been. She’d not been great with blood.
Sydney had been brilliant, looking after the driver and the baby, and then she’d managed to calm the horse and check it over. He wouldn’t have known how to handle such a large animal. He barely coped with looking after a rabbit, never mind a terrified horse that had been thrown around in a tin box.
Now they were back to that moment again. The one where he normally kissed people goodbye. And suddenly there was that tension again. He wasn’t sure whether he should lean over and just do it. Just kiss her.
‘Thanks for everything tonight. I couldn’t have done it without you,’ he said honestly.
She’d grabbed her handbag from the footwell on her side and sat with it on her knee. ‘No problem. I couldn’t have done it without you either.’
Though half her face was in shadow, he could still see her smile.
‘Well…goodnight, Sydney.’
‘Goodnight, Nathan.’
She stared at him for a moment, and then turned away and grabbed the latch to open the door. It wouldn’t budge and she struggled with it for a moment or two.
‘Sorry…sometimes it catches.’
He leant over her for the handle and she flinched as he reached past her and undid the door for her. He sat back, worried that he’d made her start.
She hurried from the vehicle without saying a word, throwing the strap of her bag over her shoulder and delving into her coat pocket for her house keys.
Disappointment filled his soul. He didn’t want her to walk away feeling awkward. That flinch, it had been… He wanted…
What do I want?
‘Sydney?’ He was out of his car before he could even think about what he was doing. He stood there, looking over the top of his car, surprising even himself. The night air had turned chill and he could feel goosebumps trembling up his spine.
She’d turned, curious. ‘Yes?’
‘Um…’ He couldn’t think of anything to say! What was he even doing, anyway? He couldn’t turn this friendship with Sydney into anything more. Neither of them was ready for that. And there was Anna to think of too. He was sure Sydney would not want to take on someone with a little girl—not after losing her own. And surely she wouldn’t want to take on someone who was ill?
Gwyneth had made it quite clear that he wasn’t worth her time and affection. That he had somehow ruined her life with his presence. Did he want to put someone else through that? Someone like Sydney? Who’d already been through so much? He’d end up needing her more than she needed him, and he’d hate that imbalance. He knew the state of his health. His condition would make him a burden. And Anna had to be his top priority. And yet…
And yet something about her pulled at him. Her energy. Her presence. Those grey eyes that looked so studious and wise, yet at the same time contained a hurt and a loss that even he couldn’t fully understand. He’d lost his fiancée, yes, but that had been through separation. It wasn’t the same as losing a child. Nowhere near it. He and Gwyneth had hardly been the love story of the century.
Even though he’d only known Sydney for a couple of days, there was something in her nature that…
‘Remember to take your sleeping pill.’
Remember to take your sleeping pill? Really? That’s what you come up with?
Her face filled with relief. ‘Oh. Yes, I will. Thank you.’
Relief. See? She was being polite. She was probably desperate to get inside and away from him, because he clearly had no idea how to talk to women, having spent the last few years of his life just being a father and—
Being a father is more important than your ability to chat up women!
‘You get a good night’s sleep yourself. You’ve earned it.’
He opened his mouth to utter a reply, but she’d already slipped her key into the lock. She raised her hand in a brief goodbye and then was inside, her door closing with a shocking finality, and he was left standing in the