Derek Landy

Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12


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Valkyrie said and followed China inside. She closed the door after her. She would never have admitted this, but Valkyrie adored China’s apartment. The carpet was lush and intricate, the décor was elegant and restrained, and it looked out over Dublin in such a way that the city seemed prettier and more romantic than it had ever been.

      “Any new developments?” China asked, picking up a stack of letters and rifling through them.

      “Not especially. I was attacked earlier though.”

      “Oh?”

      “By a vampire and his minions.”

      “Can’t stand those things,” China said. “Once they bite, the infected person has two nights of mindless slavery to endure, and if they’re not treated, they become full vampires. Such a horrible condition. Did you happen to catch his name?”

      “Dusk.”

      “Yes, I know Dusk. He has a habit of holding grudges. I had an associate who crossed him. It took years, but Dusk finally managed to track him down and the death he provided was not a quick one. There was a lot of blood and screaming and …”

      She caught herself, and smiled. “I apologise. I must confess to being in a very bad mood of late. Because of this Grotesquery business, everything I’ve worked so hard for – my library, my collections, my influence – all of it could be wiped out in the blink of an indifferent eye.”

      “Along with the rest of the world,” Valkyrie reminded her.

      “Yes. That would be unfortunate also.” China put the letters down. “Have you seen him yet? The Baron?”

      “No. Not yet.”

      China sat on the luxurious yet tasteful sofa. “An unusual man. He likes to think of himself as straightforward. He is anything but. He shares the same elitist attitude as Nefarian Serpine, but where Serpine was independent and self-serving, the Baron carried out his duties with a selflessness, and a blind and unwavering faith. What Serpine began, Vengeous seeks to finish. To him, the return of the Faceless Ones is the only thing that has ever truly mattered.”

      “Sounds like you know him well.”

      “Oh, I do. Didn’t Skulduggery tell you? I too used to worship the Faceless Ones.”

      Valkyrie felt her face drain. “What?”

      China smiled. “Obviously he didn’t tell you. Bliss and I were raised in a family that worshipped the dark gods. My brother rejected our family’s teachings at an early age, but it took me some time to do the same. While I worshipped, however, I joined a small group of like-minded individuals, of which the Baron was one. Remember when I told you that there is nothing more dangerous than a zealot? We were dangerous even by a zealot’s standards.”

      “I … I didn’t know that.”

      China shrugged. “I was young and foolish and arrogant. I’ve changed. I’m not foolish any more.” She laughed. Valkyrie forced a smile.

      “And now,” China continued, “you’re wondering, once again, if I can be trusted. After all, when Skulduggery first told you about me, what did he say?”

      “He … he said not to trust you.”

      “Because I am not worthy of it, Valkyrie. I will endanger those close to me for my own advantage. I am not a nice person, my dear. I am not … one of the good guys.”

      “Then why does he still rely on you?”

      “Because he himself has gone through change and he is no hypocrite. He will not condemn me for my past actions, so long as I don’t revert to the person I once was. The war with Mevolent changed everyone who fought in it. We each saw things in ourselves that we would rather not admit to.”

      “What did Skulduggery see?”

      “Rage. His family was murdered in front of him, and when he returned from death, his rage came with him. For most, anger that fierce can burn only for so long. Skulduggery, being Skulduggery, is the natural exception. His rage stayed.”

      “So what happened?”

      “He disappeared. If you want my opinion, I think he saw what he was capable of and he knew he had a choice – to let that rage consume him, or to fight it. So he left. He was gone for five years. When he came back, the anger was still there, but there was something else – a realisation I think. A new purpose. He was able to joke again, which was a welcome return, for he is one of the very few men able to make me laugh. Soon after, we received word that Lord Vile had fallen, and then Skulduggery himself brought down the Baron, and Mevolent’s plans began to unravel.”

      “Where did he go? For the five years?”

      “I don’t know. We all thought he was dead. Dead again, you know. But he came back just when we needed him. That’s one thing you can count on him for – the nick-of-time rescue. He’s quite good at it.”

      There was a knock on the door. They both stood, and from out in the corridor they heard a muffled voice and then a loud thump.

      China looked at Valkyrie. “Go into the bedroom,” she said quickly. “Do not argue with me. Go into the bedroom and close the door.” Valkyrie did as she was told, but left the door open a crack – just enough to see through. She saw China pick up the telephone, and then the door to the apartment burst open and the slender man in the bow tie came flying through. He landed in a heap and didn’t move.

      A figure stepped in. He looked to be in his fifties, with grey hair and a tightly cropped beard. His clothes were dark and vaguely militaristic, and his boots were polished to a gleam. He had a cutlass in his belt.

      “Hello China,” he said. “It’s good to see you again.”

      “Baron Vengeous,” China said slowly and put the telephone down. “I dearly wish I could say the same. Why are you here?”

      “You mean you don’t know?”

      “If you wish to return an overdue book, the library is across the hall. I think you will find the fine to be stern, yet reasonable.”

      “I’m here for you, China. Within a few hours I will have Lord Vile’s armour and the final missing ingredient will be within my grasp. It’s time to take off this mask you wear, to end this charade. You need to take your place.”

      “My place is right here.”

      “We both know that’s not true. You could no more turn your back on the Faceless Ones than I could. I have seen your devotion.”

      “My devotion, as you call it, has waned.”

      Vengeous shook his head. “You have sworn your allegiance to the dark gods. You cannot simply change your mind.”

      “I’m afraid I can, and I have.”

      Through the crack in the door, Valkyrie could see the anger seeping into the Baron’s face. “You are their servant,” he said, his voice low and threatening. “If you will not uphold the vow you made on your own then I will do it for you. You will be there when the Faceless Ones return, even if it is just so you can be the first traitor they kill.”

      He reached for her, and China put her left hand flat on her belly and flicked her right, and every piece of furniture in the room flew at Vengeous.

      Valkyrie stared, open-mouthed, as tables and chairs and bookcases crashed into Vengeous at a terrible speed. They clattered to the floor and he staggered and fell, blood running down his face. China tapped her belly twice and gestured with her right hand, sending everything – the furniture and Vengeous – skidding across the floor and slamming into the wall. Then another tap of her belly and another whip of her hand and the furniture moved away, clearing a space around the Baron.

      “You do not threaten me in my own home,” China said and sent the furniture hurtling back to him.

      But