Derek Landy

Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 12


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me see how confident you are now, you abomination.”

      Skulduggery’s hand went into his jacket and came back out with his revolver. He aimed it squarely at Vengeous’ face. Vengeous froze.

      “As it turns out,” Skulduggery said after a moment’s consideration, “I’m still pretty confident.”

      “Are you going to shoot me?” Vengeous sneered. “I wouldn’t be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honour? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a swordfight.”

      “And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.”

      Vengeous scowled. “As you can see,” he said, “you are vastly outnumbered.”

      “I usually am.”

      “Your situation has become quite untenable.”

      “It usually does.”

      “You are within moments of being swarmed by these filthy creatures of Undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury.”

      Skulduggery paused. “OK, that’s a new one on me.”

      “Kill him!” Vengeous barked.

      The Infected started forward, Valkyrie saw Skulduggery wave his arm and a gust of wind raised a cloud of dust to obscure her view. She glimpsed Vengeous backing up, shielding his eyes. There were gunshots, flashes of fire, and gutteral snarls of anger, and the Infected flew backwards through the air. When the dust cleared, only Skulduggery and Vengeous were left standing.

      “Six shots,” Vengeous said. “I counted. Your gun is empty.”

      “You’re assuming I didn’t reload in all the confusion.”

      “And did you?”

      Skulduggery hesitated. “No,” he admitted and put the gun away.

      Vengeous took a moment to look around. “The girl,” he said. “Cain. Where is she?”

      “She had to stay home unfortunately. It’s a school night, so …”

      “Pity. I would have liked her to see me kill you.” Vengeous laid his cutlass on the ground. “And I won’t be needing a sword to kill you.” He strode towards Skulduggery, who raised his hand.

      “Um, since you’re not going to be using it, can I?”

      Vengeous almost laughed. He punched and Skulduggery darted low and to the side, but Vengeous was expecting the manoeuvre and he brought his clenched fist down on Skulduggery’s shoulder blade. Skulduggery tried to move in for a throw, but Vengeous shifted his weight slightly and stuck out his foot, and Skulduggery went tumbling. His leg hit the crate and he fell on to the Grotesquery.

      Vengeous roared and reached in, grabbing Skulduggery and hauling him out. He sent out a right hook that cracked against the bone of Skulduggery’s jaw. He followed it with a left cross, but Skulduggery managed to raise his arm in defence. The block turned to a strike to the throat, as sudden and savage as a snake. Vengeous coughed and fell back, and Skulduggery kicked the inside of his leg.

      Vengeous kept his guard close, protecting his head, but dropped it low when Skulduggery kicked for his ribs. The kick was a feint and turned to a step, and Skulduggery swung a punch, but Vengeous caught it, his left hand closing around the skeleton’s right wrist. Vengeous surged upwards and in, his right elbow hitting Skulduggery’s right shoulder like a bullet. Vengeous torqued his body and took Skulduggery off his feet and threw him to the ground, landing heavily on top of him.

      Skulduggery’s left hand came up to Vengeous’s face, the fingers flexing, and Vengeous swatted the hand away before Skulduggery could push at the air. Vengeous punched, again and again, and grinned down at him.

      “I’d hate to be you,” Vengeous said. “A skeleton who feels pain. None of the advantages of a flesh and blood body, and all of its weaknesses. Whoever brought you back should have left you where you lay.”

      Skulduggery groaned. Some of the Infected were back on their feet and they looked at Skulduggery as he lay there. Vengeous stood and brushed the dust from his clothes. He picked up his cutlass.

      “I’m going to cut you,” Vengeous said, “into little tiny pieces. I’m going to take a small part of your skull and turn it into some dice. Maybe I’ll use the rest of you as keys on a piano. I wonder, skeleton, would you still be alive? Would you be conscious if you were dice, or keys on a piano?”

      “Always wanted a life in music,” Skulduggery mumbled.

      Valkyrie couldn’t watch any more. She got to her feet. “Hey!” Vengeous looked up to the collapsed roof and saw her.

      “Heard you’ve been looking for me,” she called out.

      “Miss Cain,” Vengeous said with a smile. “So you are here.”

      “That girl,” Skulduggery muttered, “never does what she’s bloody well told …”

      “You want me, Baron?” Valkyrie shouted. “Come and get me!”

      And then she stepped back and Vengeous started running up after her, and she went to the battlement and flung herself over.

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      Image Missinghis is so stupid, Valkyrie thought to herself as she ran. Her foot hit a rock and she almost fell. She didn’t know where she was going or what she would do. She had no plan at all, whatsoever.

      She ignored the trail and ran deeper into blackness. She could hear her pursuers now, the commands being shouted to the Infected. She could hear the van and when she looked over her shoulder she glimpsed its headlights, bobbing like crazy over the uneven ground.

      Then the world left her and she was falling.

      She hit the side of the hill and started to roll. The ground levelled off and she hit a patch of briars that tried to get in at her through her clothes. The headlights came around the bend and she flattened herself, the briars tearing at her hands and hair. She dragged herself through as the headlights hurtled towards her.

      Missing her by a hand’s breadth, the van roared by. Valkyrie stayed a moment to catch her breath then ripped the briars away and got up. There were shouts from all directions. The Infected almost had her surrounded, and the only reason she was still free was because they hadn’t realised it yet. She set off, limping slightly. There was a road ahead. If she could get to the pitch blackness on the other side, she might have a chance at escape.

      But now there was another set of headlights. The black jeep. She had to get across the road before she was cut off. And then there was somebody standing in her way.

      Dusk grabbed her and she tried to hit him, but he threw her down. “Finally,” he said, as though he was bored of a game. He was about to continue speaking, but she saw his face twitch and his hand went to his belly. His fingers dipped into his coat, brought out the syringe.

      This was her chance and she couldn’t afford to mess it up.

      Forcing the fear and the panic from her mind, Valkyrie splayed her fingers. The air shimmered and the syringe flew from his grasp, vanishing into the darkness. He cursed, tried to run after it, but lost his balance and stumbled. Valkyrie was up, already moving fast in the other direction.

      “That was a mistake,” she heard him mutter. “That serum was the only thing keeping me under control …”

      She glanced back as Dusk took hold of his human form and tore it off, like a snake shucking its skin. The vampire beneath the flesh and clothes, the creature within the man, was bald and alabaster white, its