to cover up his guilt and confusion, he snapped at her. ‘So what was it? The Pill didn’t work?’
She flinched. ‘I’m not on the Pill.’
What? He could hardly believe what he was hearing. ‘You led me to believe you were.’ So, in a way, she’d been as devious as Justine. Clearly his judgement was incredibly poor when it came to relationships.
‘I didn’t say I was on the Pill.’
‘You hinted at it.’ He remembered it very clearly. ‘You said I didn’t need a condom. Why would you say that unless you were taking the Pill?’
‘Well, that lets you very nicely off the hook, doesn’t it? Because it’s all my fault. That’s fine. I accept the entire blame for the situation.’ She screwed the cap back on the water bottle. ‘Don’t worry, Mr Darrington, I’m not expecting anything from you. I just thought you had the right to know about the baby.’ She stood up. ‘I’m officially off duty right now, so I’m going home.’
‘Wait. Ella.’ He blew out a breath. ‘You’ve just told me you’re expecting my baby. At least give me time to process the news. And what do you mean, you’re not expecting anything from me? As the baby’s father, of course I’ll support you financially.’ Just as he’d supported Justine when he’d thought that she was pregnant with his baby. A Darrington always did the right thing.
‘I don’t want your money.’
‘Tough. Because I have no intention of letting you go through this unsupported and on your own.’ He stared at her. One thing he was very sure about: this time he wasn’t going to have fatherhood snatched away from him. This time he was exercising his rights, and he was going to have choices. ‘It’s my baby, too, Ella. So that means I get a say. In everything.’
‘I never had you pegged as an overbearing bully,’ she said, ‘but you’re behaving like one right now. I’m telling you about the baby purely out of courtesy, and I know you’re not interested in being with me so I don’t expect anything from you. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve already told you I’m off duty and I want to go home. Goodnight.’
This time, she walked out.
By the time Oliver had gathered his thoughts enough to think of going after her, Ella was nowhere to be seen.
Great.
If he ran after her now, everybody would notice. The last thing either of them needed right now was to have the hospital speculating about their relationship—or, worse still, actually guessing that Ella was pregnant with his baby.
He needed time to think about this. To get used to the idea. To work out exactly what he was going to do.
So much for thinking that he and Ella could smooth over what had happened that night and try to repair their working relationship. Her bombshell had just changed everything. And right at that moment he didn’t have a clue what to do next, or even what to think. She hadn’t even told him why she hadn’t been on the Pill, and he needed to get to the bottom of that. His head was spinning.
He’d finish all the admin here and then go for a run to clear his head. And then, maybe, he’d be able to work out the best way forward. For all three of them.
The run cleared his head a bit. But then the reality slammed home. He was going to be a father.
Oliver took a deep breath. He’d been here before, but this time he had no doubts at all. The baby was his, and so was the responsibility. OK, so she’d told him he didn’t need to use protection, and that had turned out not to be true—but it took two to make a baby. Plus Ella’s family lived hundreds of miles away in Ireland; although her best friend lived in Cheltenham, it basically meant that Ella was on her own. She and the baby needed him to step up to the plate and be responsible.
He could start by making sure that she was taking folic acid and eating properly. Which was hard in the early stages, when you had morning sickness and couldn’t face the smell or taste of certain foods. He now knew the smell of coffee was a trigger for her, so he needed to find something that was bland, yet nutritious and tempting at the same time. Decaffeinated tea might be easier for her than coffee; he knew she usually drank tea at work. And maybe some fresh strawberries, pasteurised yoghurt and granola.
He dropped in to the supermarket on his way home, trying to ignore the piped Christmassy music and the stacks of Christmas chocolates and goodies displayed throughout the shop. Right now it didn’t feel much like Christmas. It felt as if the world had been shaken upside down and he wasn’t quite sure what day it was. Though he rather thought he might need some kind of Christmas miracle right now.
He concentrated on picking out things he thought might tempt Ella to eat, and added a box of vitamins specially formulated for pregnant women. Then he came to the large stand of flowers by the tills. Did Ella even like flowers? He didn’t have a clue. He knew some women hated cut flowers, preferring to let them bloom in a garden or on an indoor plant. And there was the scent issue. Something as strong as lilies might set off her morning sickness.
But it would be a gesture. A start. A way of showing her that he wanted to be on the same side. Maybe something not over-the-top and showy, like the large bouquets sprinkled with artificial snow and glitter. Something a little smaller and bright and cheerful with no scent, like the bunch of sunny yellow gerbera. Although he didn’t have a vase at home, he could stick them in a large glass of water overnight so they’d still look nice in the morning. Hopefully Ella would like them.
Then maybe tomorrow they could talk sensibly about their options. Hopefully Ella would tell him what she really wanted. She’d said that she was only telling him about the baby out of courtesy, but did she really mean that? Did she want him to be part of the baby’s life—part of her life? Or did she really mean to do what their colleague Sienna seemed to be doing, and go it alone?
And what did he want?
Since Justine’s betrayal, Oliver had major trust issues when it came to relationships. He didn’t date seriously. He hadn’t even wanted a proper relationship, thinking that the risks of getting hurt again were too high. But the fact that Ella was expecting his baby changed that. He knew he definitely wanted to be a part of his child’s life.
And Ella? He’d fought against his attraction towards her for months, keeping it strictly professional between them at work. Then, the night of the charity ball, he’d danced with her; it had felt so right to hold her in his arms. To kiss her, when he’d driven her home. To make love with her, losing himself inside her.
If he was honest with himself, he wanted to do it again. And more. He wanted to wake up with her curled in his arms. Being with Ella had made him feel that the world was full of sunshine. That snatched evening was the first time he’d felt really connected with anyone for years. He could actually see them as a family: Ella nursing the baby at the kitchen table, chatting to him about his day when he got home from work. Going to the park, with himself pushing the pram and Ella by his side—maybe with a little dog, too. Reading a bedtime story to the baby together and doing all the voices between them.
They could give their baby the kind of childhood he hadn’t had. One filled with warmth and love.
But then reality slammed in. Did she feel the same way about him? Did she want to make a family with him, or did she just want financial support, the way Justine had? OK, so she didn’t know who his parents were, and she’d said earlier that she didn’t want his money—but was it true?
Had it meant anything to her, giving him her virginity? Or had it all just been a nuisance to her, an embarrassment, something she wanted to get rid of and he’d happened to be in a convenient place to do her a favour? And why had she been so adamant that they didn’t need contraception—especially as it now turned out that she hadn’t been on the Pill?
He didn’t have a clue. In normal circumstances, that would be a difficult conversation to have. With