up the knife that had sliced her panties and with a smile that was returned he carried on chopping the salad.
He could chop too.
Fast, tiny, thin slices.
‘You’ve done that before.’
‘I helped in the family business,’ Juan said. ‘After school and during medical school. My family have a…’ he hesitated for a moment, perhaps choosing the right word ‘…café.’ He moved and took the fish steaks out of the fridge and she heard the sizzle as they were added to the pan.
‘They smell fantastic,’ Cate said. ‘What was the marinade?’
‘Chimichurri,’ Juan said. ‘It is Argentinian. There are many variations but this is my mother’s recipe that I make for you tonight.’
It was soon ready and they took the food outside to the table that had been laid. There was even a candle and, as she took the seat looking out to the ocean, Cate blinked a little when he put a plate in front of her. It looked amazing.
‘You can cook too!’
‘You haven’t tasted it yet.’
‘Ah, but it’s all in the presentation.’
‘No.’ Juan smiled as he sat opposite her. ‘It is no good to look beautiful and taste of nothing, or, worse, when you do bite into it, to find out it is off.’
‘Well, it’s a treat to have someone cook for me,’ Cate said. ‘It’s beans on toast more often than not at mine.’
Cate loaded her fork. Of course she was going to say it was lovely, of course she would be polite, she meant what she had said, it was nice to be cooked for, but, more than that, it could taste like cardboard and the night would still be divine.
‘Oh!’ She forgot her manners completely, spoke with her mouth still full as she took her first taste. ‘It’s amazing.’
It was. The fish was mild and so fresh it might just as well have jumped out of the ocean and landed on her plate, yet the marinade…Cate was not particularly into food unless it was called ice cream, but there was a riot happening on her tongue.
‘It is very fresh…’ Juan took a bite ‘…and my mother’s chimichurri is the best.’
‘I think I’m having another orgasm,’ Cate said.
‘Oh, you will later,’ Juan said. ‘And you won’t think, you’ll know.’
But there was only so much you could say about fish and, with sex out of the way, conversation turned a touch awkward at first. They knew little about each other, and it was supposed to be that way, Cate told herself, but she couldn’t help asking about his homeland when he spoke briefly about it.
‘Do you miss it?’
‘No,’ Juan admitted. ‘I speak to my family a lot and to my friends, of course.’
‘What made you decide to travel?’
‘The woman who rings…’ There was a tight swallow in Cate’s throat as she found out a little about the man. ‘Martina. We were engaged but it didn’t work out. I think when any relationship ends you start to question things,’ Juan said. ‘Don’t you?’
‘I guess.’ Cate took a swallow of her wine.
‘Did you?’ Juan pushed, when normally he didn’t. Normally he didn’t want to know more, but with Cate he did.
‘A bit.’ Cate gave a slightly nervous lick of her lips and put down her knife and fork. ‘That really was delicious.’ She tried to change the subject, but Juan pushed on.
‘Really, my parents were never pushy with my education. They thought I would join them in the family business but I wanted to do medicine, so I spent a lot of time studying as well as working part time for them. I never really took some time to do other things I wanted.’ He gave a small shrug. ‘Now seemed like a good idea. I think it is good to step back. It is very easy to get caught up in the rat race…’
Cate shook her head. ‘I don’t see it as a rat race. I have no desire to step off.’
‘None?’
Cate took a deep breath, felt the bubble of disquiet she regularly quashed rise to the surface. ‘I’m not sure that I’m happy at work.’ She looked at his grey unblinking eyes. ‘I’m not unhappy, but sometimes…’ Her voice trailed off and Juan filled the silence.
‘Is that why you considered being a paramedic?’
Cate nodded. ‘But it’s not for me.’
‘What is for you?’
‘I’m working that out,’ Cate admitted. ‘Don’t you miss anaesthesia?’
‘No,’ Juan admitted. ‘I expected that I would and I admit I enjoyed looking after Jason the other day, but I don’t miss it as much as I thought I might. I had a lot of ego,’ Juan said, then halted, not wanting to go there. ‘I like Emergency, that was where I started, then I did anaesthesia and was invited to a senior role. I enjoyed it, but being back in Emergency I realise how I enjoy that too.’
‘And your fiancée?’
‘Ex.’
‘Who still calls regularly.’
Juan grinned. ‘She misses me, can you blame her?’
‘Did it end suddenly?’ Cate knew she was teetering outside the strange rules of a non-relationship—it was just that she wanted to know more about him.
‘Yes.’
‘Were you…?’ Cate’s voice trailed off.
‘I can’t answer a question if you don’t ask it.’
‘Were you cheating?’
‘No,’ Juan said. ‘I took our engagement seriously. It was ended by mutual agreement—now it would seem that she has some regrets.’
Cate looked at him, looked at that full mouth, slightly taut now, saw a flicker of pain in his eyes. He wasn’t over her, Cate knew it.
And Martina wasn’t over him, Cate could guarantee that. Imagine having that heart and losing it?
‘All I’ve learnt is that nothing lasts for ever,’ Juan said. ‘So enjoy what you have now, live in the moment…’
‘Well, that’s where we’re different,’ Cate said, hoping that he’d leave things there, but Juan did not. His hand reached across the table and took her tense one.
‘Why so cautious?’
She looked up, looked at him, and he saw the tiny creases form beside her eyes.
‘We’re just talking,’ Juan said lightly, but he wanted to know more.
‘Having three brothers makes you so…’ She attempted to sound dismissive but it was an impossible task. ‘All my brothers were quite wild, but my middle brother decided to steal a car with his girlfriend when he was eighteen,’ Cate said. ‘I was nine. He nearly killed his girlfriend—I just remember the chaos, the hospital, the court cases, what it did to Mum and Dad…“Thank God for Cate,” Mum and Dad always said. I never caused them a moment’s worry, I guess it became who I thought I was…’ She looked back up. ‘Now I’m trying to find out who I am. So, yes…’ She gave a tight smile. ‘I guess the end of a relationship makes you examine things.’
She was trying not to examine things a little later as they headed to his bedroom and she saw that huge white bed. She was trying to live in the now—except she knew she would remember and miss him for ever.
He undressed her and she was more nervous than when she’d arrived at his door as he took off his boots, as he kicked them to the floor, because a night in his arms was simply not enough.