look happy to see me.’
She laughed and Seb breathed a sigh of relief. She sounded like the Luci he loved, full of laughter and happiness even if she had just been sobbing in his arms.
‘Of course I am. I’ve missed you.’
Good. That cheered him up. Perhaps things would turn out in his favour. ‘I’ve missed you too.’
She was looking up at him. Her eyes were shining and her pink lips were slightly parted, like an opening rosebud. He had come here to talk to her, to beg her for another chance, but he couldn’t resist. He bent his head and kissed her.
She sighed gently and leaned into him and he felt her arms loop around his neck as she kissed him back. Soft and supple in his arms, he could feel his soul being restored as he held her. She tasted like heaven and he wished he could stay like this for eternity.
But he needed to find out if that was possible.
‘Luci,’ he sighed as he pulled away. He kept a finger under her chin, keeping her face tilted up at him. ‘I need to talk to you.’
‘Oh.’ Something flashed behind her eyes. Was it disappointment?
He took her hand and led her to the couch. The place was spotless and its tidiness served to remind him that his time was limited. If he didn’t get this problem resolved tonight, it would be too late. She would be gone.
He kept hold of her hand as they sat, making her sit close to him.
‘What is it?’ she asked. ‘Is something wrong?’
Seb nodded. ‘Yes. I’ve made a mistake. A big one. But I’m hoping it’s not too late to fix it. I’ve discovered a pattern.’
‘A pattern?’
‘It’s a problem I have,’ he told her, ‘where I can’t seem to work out I want something until it’s gone. But I’m hoping this time I haven’t left it too late.’
‘I’m not following you. Left what too late?’
‘Us. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to let you go.’ He picked up her other hand, holding them both, keeping her close. ‘You have brought light back into my life. A purpose. An energy. A reason to look forward to the day. I didn’t know what my life was lacking until you came into it. I thought I was okay on my own. Happy even. But I was kidding myself. I was surviving. I wasn’t living and I definitely wasn’t happy.
‘I’ve missed you,’ he said honestly. ‘I look for you, I listen for you. I want to hear your laugh, I want to see your smile. I want to be the one who makes you smile. I don’t want you to leave. I came here tonight to ask if you would consider staying in Sydney. With me. I want to see if we can make something of this thing between us. Before it’s too late.’
He very rarely spoke about his feelings and he certainly hadn’t bared as much of his soul in the past three years but it didn’t seem to make any difference. Luci was shaking her head. ‘It is too late. I’m going home.’
‘Back to Vickers Hill?’
She nodded.
Seb’s heart plummeted like a stone and settled heavily and morosely in his abdomen. He was losing her. ‘I thought you’d decided that wasn’t the place for you.’
‘My circumstances have changed.’
How much could have changed in two weeks? Did she feel nothing for him?
‘Have you met someone else?’ Surely she couldn’t have moved on that quickly? He didn’t want to think of her with other men. He didn’t want to imagine her searching for someone else to share her dream. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t she choose him?
‘No, of course not. This is a practical decision. A financial one. I can’t afford to start again.’
Despite the flicker of hope that had come to life as soon as Seb had started talking, Luci had other things to consider now. Another person to consider. She couldn’t allow herself to get carried away until she was sure of Seb’s feelings. Vickers Hill had been good enough for her growing up, it was a good place to raise a family and she would have support there. All the things she had hated at times about a small country town were now the reasons she was moving back. She knew people would rally around her. If she was going to be a single mother she wanted to do it somewhere familiar. Somewhere safe. ‘This is the next stage of my journey.’
‘Can you take that next stage with me?’
She shook her head, still determined not to jump head first too soon. ‘You know I can’t. You know what I want. Being a mother is something I’ve always wanted. If I have to choose between having a family and having you, I will choose children. I’m sorry. I wish I could have both but that’s up to you.’
Luci had dreamed of Seb choosing to be with her but he had to choose everything. He had to choose her dream as well as her. This was her chance to see how he felt without telling him about the baby. She didn’t want to force his hand, she didn’t want him to feel that he had to make promises he wouldn’t be able to keep, but she had nothing to lose now. If he didn’t want a family she could still walk away.
‘Luci, I love you and I want a future with you.’
‘You love me?’
‘I do. I know you want a family and I’m asking you to give me a chance. Let’s see if we can have that future together.’
‘I can’t afford to wait. I haven’t got time to see if it all works out. I can’t.’ She took a deep breath. It was now or never. She was either going to get what she wished for or not but either way the time had come to share her news. ‘I’m already pregnant.’
‘What? When? How?’
‘The usual way, I suppose. Ironic, isn’t it? I didn’t think it could happen for me the usual way but it must have been that night on the boat.’
‘In the storm?’
Luci nodded. ‘I’m sorry. I know you hate surprises but you need to know.’
‘Don’t be sorry.’ Seb shook his head and his eyes filled with tears. ‘I’m going to be a father?’
Luci nodded. She took his hand and put it on her stomach as her nerves escalated another notch. Her dream was so close she could almost taste it and she couldn’t stand the thought that it might all slip away. She tried one last time to convince him that things could work out. ‘I know loving someone scares you and I understand that this is a big step for you, but you have to have faith that things will be okay. Bad things can happen but they don’t always happen. You can’t close yourself off just in case you get hurt. I intend to live my life and I want you to live yours. But I would like us to live our lives together, I’d like us to share our dreams. I love you and I think we can make this work but it’s up to you. I know this will be a shock, it’s a lot to take in and I don’t expect you to decide what you want to do tonight, but you should know that I am going to have the baby.’
‘Of course you are. And I’m going to be there with you. Every step of the way.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Positive. I’m ready for this. I know you didn’t want to fall for the first guy who crossed your path and I wanted to give you a chance to decide if you wanted me. That was why I thought we could take our time and see what happened but I know I want you. I know I want a future with you. And a family. I have thought about nothing else for the past two weeks.’
Seb reached for her. Brushing her hair from her face, he bent his head and kissed her and Luci could feel herself blossoming under his touch.
‘I love you, Luci, and I promise that will never change.’ He smiled at her and his blue eyes sparkled as he added, ‘And now you need to invite me home with you for Christmas.’
‘You want to come with me?’