She sniffed and gave a low laugh. ‘The problem was, it was so good that the client offered me a free ride back to London on the company jet. Fantastic, I thought. I’ll pop around to Peter’s apartment and drop off the equipment then take a day’s holiday to sleep. But something weird happened on the flight. The client asked if I could get hold of the talent agent for Peter’s girlfriend. He had completely forgotten to ask Peter and they were looking for a lingerie model for another campaign. They were such a handsome couple!’
A low chuckle turned into a half cry. ‘I started to tell the client that he was wrong and that I was his girlfriend but suddenly things started to click together in my mind. The fabulous clothes in Peter’s wardrobe which he claimed belonged to his sister who used the apartment. The telephone calls he took at all hours of the day and night from clients. And the texting. The constant bloody texting, day and night. It all made sense.’
Her voice faded away. ‘There was no family wedding. That was just an excuse that he had made up to get rid of me. Peter was having a clothes optional dinner for two with his Brazilian girlfriend when I turned the key and walked in on them in the shower.’
Even moistening her lips could not make the words come any easier.
‘I am sorry. I had no idea.’
‘Why should you? I keep these things to myself,’ Toni replied. ‘He used me because I was convenient and trusting and I fell for it. That hurts and it never completely goes away, does it?’
His answer was a small shake of the head.
Toni closed her eyes and luxuriated in the warmth of his body pressed against her side and, without thinking of the consequences, she leant sideways against him, daring to push the boundaries that they had set in the bedroom.
His left arm snaked around her waist and Scott drew her even closer to his body.
She could feel the pounding of his heart under his smart blue shirt as she pressed her fingertips to the soft fabric which separated his skin from hers, only too aware that one thin layer of mightily creased cardigan wasn’t perhaps the best outfit she could have chosen to rescue smoke-damaged documents. She must stink of smoke.
Strange. Somehow, that didn’t seem important any longer.
Who was she kidding? Scott meant more to her than any man she had ever known. She had never told anyone about that day. Not even Amy knew the real truth. Until this week she would never have thought it possible that she could forge so powerful a bond to this amazing man and feel that friendship and connection back in return.
Peter had been her lover and her colleague and for a few idyllic and heady months in one of the most romantic cities in Europe she thought that they had a future together. But, looking back, she knew now that Peter had never been her friend. Real friends didn’t use one another.
‘Tell me what you need me to do,’ she whispered. ‘I have to go back to work in a week but I have loads of pals who would be happy to help. We can bring a team in and start the clear-up. We can turn this place around in a week. You wait and see.’
She could stay this way for ever and not regret it. But, just as her head lolled back against the chair, she sensed his mood change, as though someone had opened the window wider and allowed a cool breeze into the room.
His arm slid away from behind her back and he moved, just an inch, then more, and their bodies slid apart, slowly at first then swiftly as Scott stepped sideways and bent over the paperwork on the table.
The shock of being separated was like a physical blow to Toni’s poor heart. But it was the look on Scott’s face that truly startled her as he turned to face her.
Desire, anguish, self-reproach and unmistakable desire. For her.
She had not been mistaken after all.
The way his hand had started to seek hers when they were out, the way she caught him looking at her when she least expected it, and the kiss on the roof terrace the night before had been real. The gentleness of his mouth on the nape of her neck which turned her legs to jelly had meant as much to him as it had to her.
And she didn’t know whether to grin and shout in glee while she had the chance, or be patient and let him take the lead.
This was why, when he did speak, the words he used touched her heart and made it weep.
‘A week? You think we can clear up this mess in a week? Somehow, these past few days I had forgotten that you have your own life and another job. Oh, Toni.’
His finger stroked her cheek from her temple down to her chin. ‘I can’t do this, Toni. I thought a fling was what I needed—hell, what we both needed. But you’re a lovely woman and any man would be honoured to have you in his life and we both know that I will be back in Alaska in a few months. It wouldn’t be fair on either of us to make promises we can’t keep. No matter how much we would like things to be different. You should go back to your work and make it the success it deserves.’
Well. That answered her question.
Two choices. She could accept what he said and let him go with a smile on her face or she could do something mad and challenge him.
Just the thought of not having Scott in her life sent a cold shiver down her back. He was hers and nobody else’s. And she hadn’t even realized that until this moment. She didn’t want to lose Scott Elstrom. She couldn’t lose him, not now, not after all they had shared together.
She wanted Scott and she wanted him badly enough to fight for him.
‘Can’t do what, Scott? Be friends with me? Like me and want to spend time with me? Want to hold me in your arms? Is that what you can’t do, Scott? Please tell me the truth because I’m starting to get confused by what your body is telling me and the words coming out of your mouth.’
Before Toni realized what was happening, Scott had crossed the few steps that separated them and had wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, his fingers working into her hair as he pressed his mouth against hers, pushing open her full lips, moving back and forth, his breath fast and heavy on her face.
His mouth was tender, gentle but firm, as though he was holding back the floodgates of a passion which was on the verge of breaking through and overwhelming them both.
She felt that potential, she trembled at the thought of it, and at that moment she knew that she wanted it as much as he did.
Her eyes closed as she wrapped her arms around his back and leaned into the kiss, kissing him back, revelling in the sensual heat of his body as it pressed against hers. Closer, closer, until his arms were taking the weight of her body, enclosing her in his loving, sweet embrace. The pure physicality of the man was almost overpowering. The movement of his muscular body pressed against her, combined with the heavenly scent that she knew now was unique to him alone.
It filled her senses with an intensity that she had never felt in the embrace of any other man in her life. He was totally overwhelming. Intoxicating. And totally, totally delicious.
And, just when Toni thought that there could be nothing more pleasurable in this world, his kiss deepened. It was as though he wanted to take everything that she was able to give him and without a second of doubt she surrendered to the hot spice of the taste of his mouth and tongue.
This was the loving warm kiss she had never known. The connection between them was part of it, but this went beyond friendship and common interests.
This was a kiss to signal the start of something new. The kind of kiss where each of them was opening up their most intimate secrets and deepest feelings for the other person to see.
The heat, the intensity, the desire of this man was all there, exposed for her to see when she eventually opened her eyes and broke the connection. Shuddering. Trembling.
Then he pulled away, the faint stubble on his chin grazing across her mouth, as he lifted his face to kiss her eyes, brow and temple.
It took