bum onto a stool. ‘Do you know what I realised this week, Mak?’
‘What, honey?’
‘That I have been so worried about the boys being independent enough, strong enough to go off on their own, and they are fine. Me—not so much. Of the three of us I’m the one who isn’t independent. I’m the one having the most problems adjusting. Apart from that night with Will I’ve hated being in this house alone, waking up alone, going to sleep alone. The lack of noise, the tidiness... I miss them so damn much.’
‘Of course you do.’
‘I desperately need to work, to prove to myself that I am something other than a fake mommy. I want to create again. I want people’s eyes to react—good or bad—when then see my photos. I miss it, Mak. I miss being...productive. I can take as many photos of the sea, of the dogs, as I want, but it’s not the same as creating images for someone else. I miss being...me.’
Mak listened and waited for Lu to carry on.
‘And...I guess I’m just lonely. I never realised I was until the boys left. Having supper with Will the other night made me realise how much I’ve missed being with someone...and, sorry, you don’t count.’
‘You’re too skinny and too pale for me anyway.’
Lu reached across the counter to swat his shoulder. ‘I thought that Will would be an ideal man to practise on.’
Mak’s head snapped up. ‘Huh? What?’
‘I can use him to get my confidence back, to get back into the whole dating dance again. To help me become—independent. Is that the word I’m looking for?’
‘You are making absolutely no sense.’
‘I’ve lost the ability—I’m not even sure I ever had the ability—to flirt, to enjoy a man’s company, to do the dance. Having a flirtation, a fling with Will, would boost my confidence and in a weird way sort of be a...um...a kick start to this new phase of my life. A way to remind myself that I’m more than what I was—something other than the being the twins’ guardian, their housekeeper, their taxi.’
Would Mak understand that she suddenly felt lost and unable to cope now that there was only herself to worry about? She was supposed to feel relieved and free. Instead she felt more insecure and scared than ever before.
That wasn’t right. Or fair. And it definitely wasn’t acceptable. So she’d do something about it.
Preferably with Will. Could she do it? Was she brave enough?
Mak was quiet for a long time. ‘I’m all for you having some fun—getting your groove back. But there are dangers in this, Lu.’
‘Like?’
‘You falling for him and getting hurt, for one.’
Lu shook her head. ‘Firstly, he’s avoided serious relationships for years, and even if I didn’t know that he has “No Trespassing” signs all over his heart, so I know that falling for him would be stupid. Secondly, he’s only here for three months—less than that now. That’s strike number two. He’ll be my practice man and when he leaves I’ll be fine. I just need someone who’s kind of in my life to ease me into the rest of my life. Does that make any sense at all?’
‘Sort of. If you manage to keep it just fun and games.’
‘I won’t allow myself to get attached to him.’
‘Sometimes you can’t help it,’ Mak insisted.
‘Mak, it’s just an idea, and if he says no then it’s no harm, no foul. As grateful as I am to him rescuing me from the club, I have no intention of trailing after him, dragging my tongue on the floor, appreciative of any attention he’ll give me. I won’t beg, I still have my pride. And if he says yes then I’ll keep my emotional distance.’
‘Mmm. Not sure if you have ever been able to do that, Lu.’ Mak stood up and rested his hands on her bare shoulders. He pulled her in for a hug. ‘And, talking about clubbing, I am so very, very sorry about the other night, Lu. God, I lie awake thinking...’
Lu shook her head. ‘Don’t Mak. I’m fine.’
‘You’re fine because someone else was looking out for you.’ Mak rested his chin on the top of her head. ‘Your dad would have had my head.’
‘I’m a big girl, Mak; I’ve been looking after myself and the twins for a long time,’ Lu told him. ‘I don’t need you to look after me. I’m taking charge of my life, getting used to being on my own. I’ve got to get my head, my life, together. I can do it, Mak!’
Mak grinned down at her determined face. ‘May I point out that the only person in this room who sounds doubtful about that is you, sweetheart?’
‘It’s taking some practice,’ Lu admitted.
‘It always does.’ Mak stepped away from her and reached across the counter for her mobile. ‘So, call him.’
Lu yelped. ‘Not now! Um...I need to think about what we can do together.’
‘I have double tickets to a cooking demo by that celebrity pastry chef you’re so gaga about.’
‘Rupert Walker?’ Lu squealed. Oh, wow! She’d casually mentioned to Mak that she’d like to see the demo, and Mak, good mate that he was, had arranged tickets.
‘I was going to go with you, but I think you should take Will. You can torture him instead.’
‘I don’t think it’s his thing. But I’d love to go.’ Lu’s eyes widened as Mak scrolled through the numbers on her phone, pushed the green button and handed it to her.
‘It’s ringing. Ask him.’
‘Makhosi, you son of a...! What am I supposed...?’ Mak thrust the phone in her direction and the next moment Will’s deep voice had her toes curling.
‘Hey, Lu. What’s up?’
‘Um...hi. Feel free to say no, because I certainly don’t expect you to say yes—’
Will laughed. ‘That sounds ominous.’
Lu glared at Mak, who was rolling his finger silently to tell her to get on with it.
‘I was given tickets for a celebrity baking demo on Monday night and I was wondering if you’d like to go with me.’ Lu expelled the words in a whoosh. She pictured herself jumping into a cavernous pool and finding it empty of water. Splat!
‘Ah...um...it’s really not my thing...but OK. Shall I pick you up?’
Oh, dear Lord, there was water in the pool and she was floating. Yay!
Lu pulled a tongue at Mak’s satisfied face as they made arrangements. Turning away from his smirky expression she allowed a broad smile to cross her face.
I am woman, hear me roar, she thought. Well, it wasn’t quite a roar but it was definitely more than a whimper. Go me!
* * *
An hour later Lu pulled her SUV into an empty space in the parking lot of the Stingrays’ Rugby Union corporate offices. She’d been about to end her conversation with Will when he’d told her he was with Kelby Cotter, the Rays’ CEO, and that he wanted to have a word. Kelby had asked her to meet with him to discuss a photography project she might be interested in. Might be interested? She itched to pick up her camera and get to work!
At this moment she’d walk into the fires of hell if there was photography work there, and any project that had the Rays’ name attached to it would be a huge boost to her non-existent career.
Lu got out of the car and looked down at her short black skirt, her tangerine T-shirt and slightly scuffed wedges, and wondered if she should have splurged on another, more businesslike outfit. Heavy silver bracelets ran up her arm and ethnic silver earrings hung halfway to her shoulders. She’d