A Dozen Second Chances. Field Kate

on my heels. And as we made our procession into the canteen, I took a moment to analyse my feelings. Paddy’s condemnation had been uncomfortable and unarguable. I did sound bitter, and it wasn’t me. It had been my head talking, not my heart. When I looked there, I found no bitterness. I had hated Paddy once, but somewhere over the years it had gone, leaving mere indifference behind. Or not quite indifference. As I had been reminded so recently, there had been good times between us. The best, I had thought back then. Dig far enough down through the years, and there was a layer of our relationship where things had been perfect. Despite what had happened afterwards, I could never forget that. With my training, I should know better than to think that history could ever be irrelevant.

      Paddy put the urn down on the table. I spotted Tina across the room, looking at me with concern. I shook my head at her. I didn’t need rescuing. It was time to face up to this.

      ‘What is it you want to talk about?’ I called after Paddy, as he started to wander away. He turned back.

      ‘Not here,’ he said, gesturing round. The guests had started to leave, but too many remained, hovering in the hope of a moment with Paddy. ‘Are you free later?’

      ‘Not tonight.’ It was too soon. I needed time to prepare for this.

      ‘Tomorrow?’

      ‘I’m working.’

      ‘Friday? Term will have ended, won’t it?’

      I nodded. ‘But you won’t be here …’

      ‘I’m staying at The White Hart tonight. I can extend my stay.’

      ‘There’s no need to do that …’

      ‘There is. It’s important. Meet me for lunch on Friday. Please, Eve.’

      Was I a fool to agree? Maybe. Maybe I had always been a fool where Paddy was concerned. But when he looked at me with the same expression of wordless appeal that I had fallen for hundreds of times before, I couldn’t resist now any more than I had then. I nodded again, unable to say the words, and Paddy smiled and walked away.