He had his own ideas about that, that was for sure. He’d been Beth’s friend even longer than he’d known James, since she’d spent a lot of time at her great-uncle’s place. In fact, if she hadn’t caught James’s eye when she did, he might have been the one...
Well, there was no point in letting his thoughts stray in that direction. His task now was to do his best for Beth and her son.
As he neared the house, he caught sight of Benjy in the backyard, tossing a ball back and forth with Janie Stoltzfus, Beth’s niece. Instead of heading for the back door, he veered to join them.
“Looks like a gut game. Can I play, too?”
“Catch the ball, Daniel,” Benjy shouted, obviously pleased to have the game enlarged. With his silky straight blond hair and his round, chubby face, he still looked a little like the baby he’d been such a short time ago.
Would he have to grow up faster now that his daadi was gone? And at four, how much did Benjy actually realize about death? Daniel didn’t have any answers, but he knew that Beth would do her best to protect him. And he would, as well. He owed it to his friend.
Benjy tossed the ball short of Daniel, and he had to sprint forward to catch it.
“Benjy’s getting better all the time,” Janie said, laughter in her eyes.
Nodding, Daniel sent a soft underhand toss in Benjy’s direction. He put it right on target, and Benjy’s gratified surprise at catching it made him smile.
“I got it. Did you see, Janie? I caught it.”
“Yah, gut job,” Janie responded. “Now throw it to me.”
Benjy raised the ball to throw, dropped it and went scrambling after it. Daniel took advantage of the moment. “Is your aunt Bethany inside? I need to see her.”
“Yah. She was in the kitchen when we came out. Do you want me to go see?”
“That’s all right. I’ll find her.” With a wave, he headed for the house. He tapped lightly on the screen door and went into the mudroom, then on into the kitchen, calling out as he did.
Beth answered, sounding normal, but when she turned from the stove and Daniel saw her face, he was shocked. During the visiting and the funeral after James’s death, she’d seemed frozen, hardly aware of her surroundings. Now the ice that had encased her was gone, and he could read her loss too easily.
The gentleness had disappeared from her usually serene oval face, and her skin seemed shrunk against the bones, making her green eyes huge and tragic. Even her light brown hair had lost the curl she tried to suppress, straining back to the white kapp she wore.
He gathered his wits together and struggled to sound normal. “There’s a ball game going on in the backyard. Don’t you want to join it?”
Beth managed a smile at that, but it was a pitiful attempt. “Not just now. Can I do something for you, Daniel?”
“That’s my question. You know I’m here to help with anything you want.” He pulled out a chair from the kitchen table. “Can we sit down for a bit?”
After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded, coming to sit in the chair he’d pulled out while he took the one facing it. “How...how is everything at the store?”
There was nothing of interest in her voice. In fact, it seemed that all her attention was turned inward to something that obsessed her to the exclusion of everything else.
“Doing fine.” His voice sounded unnatural to him. “In fact, we need to talk about the store. I...” He stopped, shaking his head. “What’s wrong, Beth? We’re old friends, ain’t so? You can talk to me.”
A flash of something that might have been anger crossed her face and as quickly disappeared.
“Nothing.” Her voice was tart. She pressed her lips together for a moment before continuing. “I’m sorry. You were saying, about the store?”
“Yah.” He’d like to press the matter, because it seemed clear to him that even more was wrong than grief, but something told him it wouldn’t be welcomed. She was only a couple of feet away across the width of the table, but it might as well be miles.
“I wanted you to know that I’ve brought my nephew Timothy in to help out, now that James...” He stopped and started again. “We needed a little extra help. Anna’s a gut worker, but she’s young and needs direction.”
He took a breath, deciding he was going in the wrong direction. He didn’t want to pile problems on Beth, only keep her up-to-date on the store that was her livelihood.
“Anyway, I thought you’d want to know what was going on. Business is gut, and naturally your share remains the same.” He hesitated before going on with what he’d rehearsed saying.
“I thought you might want to be a little more involved now, since it’s your business, too. You could come in a few hours now and then, maybe. Or look over the books, if you want.”
She’d paid attention for a moment, but now he knew he’d lost her. She’d turned inward again, back to whatever it was that obsessed her. James’s death? Tragic as that was, he sensed there was something more going on.
He’d thought to assure her that the store was under control and possibly to interest her in taking a more active role. But that seemed to be the last thing on her mind.
“Beth.” He said her name gently, and after a moment her eyes focused on him. “It’s all right. I’ll keep on with the store the way I have been. I can see you don’t want to talk about it now.”
She nodded, putting one hand up to her forehead. “Not now,” she echoed. “We’ll talk later, yah?”
“Later.” He stood, disappointed in himself that he hadn’t found a way to help her. “Anything I can do, you know I will. I’ll see you later, then.”
But when he moved toward the door, Beth seemed to come back from wherever she’d been. “Daniel.”
He turned, eager to do something—anything—she needed.
“There’s something I need to ask you.” She hesitated, as if trying to arrange her thoughts, and he waited.
“That last night...the night of the accident.” She stopped, obviously struggling, but before he could say anything, she went on. “James said he was going to the store to do inventory.”
Now it was Daniel’s turn to collect his thoughts. Half-afraid of where she was going, he nodded. “Yah, that’s right.”
Beth had stood when he did, but now she leaned against the table, her hands planted on the top as if for support. She had always been slim as a young girl, despite having a child, but now she was almost gaunt.
“What took him away from the store? Why was he out on that road where the accident...”
She couldn’t finish it, and he had a moment to compose himself. He should have realized that at some point she’d ask that question. He should have prepared an answer. Did she suspect... No, that was impossible.
Well, he couldn’t lie to her, so maybe it was just as well he hadn’t known where James had gone that night. “I’m sorry, Beth, but I don’t know. We’d finished up, and he went outside ahead of me. I saw he had the buggy, but he was already driving out before I had a chance to say anything.”
That was the exact truth. What he’d thought...feared, even...he would keep to himself.
“You don’t know?” Her gaze was fixed on his face, her eyes enormous.
“I’m sorry.” He sought for some possibility. “We’d been talking about adding a few more crafts to the store. Maybe he was going to talk to someone about it.”
It sounded feeble, even to him. Why would James be doing that at eight o’clock