from the upstairs windows and a little garden that frothed with blooms in the summer months.
It was, in her opinion, the perfect place to raise a family.
Of course, she didn’t have a family to raise.
Maybe they ought to get a dog.
She pushed that thought aside, along with all the questions she had about Scott Rhodes, and parked her car.
In the summer this part of the island teemed with tourists, but in the winter months you were more likely to see eiders congregating near the jetties, riding the current and sheltering behind fishing boats. The sky was cold and threatening and the wind managed to find any gaps in clothing.
She loved the place whatever the season, whether she was wrapped up in layers in the winter, or eating a warm lobster roll on the beach in the summer watching the sun go down.
Today there was no sun.
Jenna fumbled her way into the house, grateful for the warmth.
She lit the wood-burning stove in the living room, unpacked the shopping and made a casserole. Beef was Greg’s favorite, but she’d read somewhere that red meat reduced fertility, so she used chicken.
While the casserole simmered in the oven, she chopped vegetables.
Then she tidied the cottage, took a shower and changed into a wool dress she’d bought to wear at Christmas two years before. It had looked good on her then. Now, it clung in places it wasn’t supposed to cling. She picked up one of the magazines she’d bought and stared gloomily at the slim, toned blonde dressed in leggings and a crop top.
“You are so airbrushed.” She flung the magazine to one side and picked up the other one.
This one recommended a diet of raw food interspersed with long periods of fasting.
“If I fast, I faint.” What she really needed was the Comfort Eater’s Diet. Or the Stressed While Trying for a Baby Diet.
In the meantime she needed to order control underwear.
She stuffed both magazines under the sofa and noticed the notepad on the coffee table that Greg had been using to make a shopping list.
Maybe she should write down some of her stories. Why not?
She tore out a clean page and sketched two little girls with a goat, but the goat ended up looking like a pig.
She tapped its bloated stomach. “What you need is a bikini diet.”
Throwing down the pen, she slid the paper under the sofa along with the magazines. Maybe she’d think about it another time. Or maybe her stories were better told round a campfire than written down.
Her dress felt uncomfortably tight, so she walked to the bedroom to choose something else.
She pulled on her favorite pair of stretchy jeans and a sweater Greg had bought for her birthday. It was a pretty shade of blue, shot through with silvery thread, and it fell soft and loose to the top of her thighs, concealing all evidence of her dietary transgressions.
She was checking the casserole when she heard the sound of his key in the door.
“Something smells good.” Greg walked into the house and dropped his keys on the table. “How’s my green-eyed mermaid?”
He’d called her that since the summer she turned eight years old when she’d barely left the sea.
“Mermaids don’t have curly hair and freckles.” She smiled as he came up behind her and kissed her on the neck.
“You shouldn’t stereotype mermaids. You look gorgeous. Is that sweater new?”
“You bought it for me.”
“I have great taste. How was your mother? Are you in need of therapy?” He slid his arms round her and she sucked in her stomach to make herself thinner. She liked the fact that he kissed her before he even hung up his coat. Andrea was right—she was lucky to have Greg. So why didn’t that feel like enough?
What was wrong with her?
“I decided on the sort of therapy you can pour into a glass. It was that or chocolate chip ice cream.”
“That’s what I call a dilemma.” Greg let go of her and hung up his coat. “Walk me through your decision-making process.”
“Wine is made from grapes and grapes are fruit, which makes it one of your five a day. So it’s healthy.” She handed him a glass of wine. “And if I’m not pregnant, I might as well drink. How was your day?”
“If I tell you my day was good are you going to snatch this glass from my hand?”
She grinned. “No, because by the time I’ve finished whining you’re going to need it.”
“Wine for whine. Sounds like a reasonable deal.” Greg took a mouthful of wine. “I’m braced. Hit me with it. What was today’s gem?”
“Nothing new. She reminded me about the painting incident and held me personally responsible for her gray hair.”
“Her gray hair makes her look distinguished. She should be thanking you.”
“She praised you, of course.” She lifted her glass in a mock toast. “You, Greg Sullivan, are the all-conquering hero. A gladiator among men. A knight in shining armor. I was lucky you were there to save me from my wicked ways.”
“She said that?”
“Not in so many words, but she was thinking it.”
Greg put the wine down. “Did you tell her you were feeling down about the whole baby thing?”
“No. Our conversations are an exchange of facts.”
His gaze was steady. “You’re unhappy. That’s a fact.”
“Not those sorts of facts. Everyone else seems able to talk to my mother, but not me.”
Why did it matter? She had Greg. Greg had always been easy to talk to. When people talked about marriage as something that had to be “worked at” she didn’t understand what they meant. She and Greg just were. They fitted like hand in glove or foot in shoe. They didn’t need to work at anything.
They ate dinner at the table in their cozy kitchen while the winter wind lashed at the house and rattled the windows. After they’d finished the meal and cleared up, they curled up on the sofa.
Jenna topped up Greg’s wineglass and he raised an eyebrow.
“Are you trying to get me drunk?”
“I’m a wild child, remember? I’m living down to my reputation.” She slid off her shoes, curled her legs under her and moved closer, pressing her body against the solid strength of his.
Unlike her, his body hadn’t changed much in the past decade. Greg believed exercise helped control mood and set an example to the community by spending time in the gym and running on the beach. As a result his body was as good as it had been at eighteen.
She thought about what Andrea had said earlier.
Would her marriage to Greg be different if they’d had other relationships? “Do you ever wish you’d sowed your wild oats?”
“Excuse me?” He shifted so he could look at her. “You want me to become a farmer?”
She laughed and took another sip of wine. “You’re not a morning person. You’d be a terrible farmer.”
“So why the ‘wild oats’ question?”
“No reason. Ignore me. Let’s go to bed.”
He looked at her quizzically. “It’s not the right time of the month for you to get pregnant, is it?”
She felt a flash of guilt, and that guilt was intensified by the knowledge that she’d done