Too Scared to Tell: Part 3 of 3. Cathy Glass

aware there was often lots of alcohol and drugs at music festivals.

      ‘Of course, Mum. Trust me. I’m not daft.’

      ‘I know, love. I just worry about you all, and I can’t help that.’ I wished I could worry less now my children were adults, but as most parents know that is difficult; regardless of how old they are, they’re always your little children.

      As the afternoon was warm, we spent most of it outside and had dinner there too, pretending we were still on holiday. Adrian texted our Glass WhatsApp group to say he and Kirsty had arrived safely in the Lakes and were going to get something to eat. Lucy, Paula and I texted back to wish them a good time.

Once Oskar was in bed, I finished the last of the unpacking, put away the cases and emailed Andrew. I’d been checking my email while I’d been away so I didn’t have to face the same deluge in my inbox as I had with the physical mail. I told Andrew that Oskar had enjoyed the holiday, and Roksana was returning to the UK tomorrow. I said that while we’d been away he’d spoken to his mother most evenings and also his Aunty Dol, Uncle Ivan and cousins Sabiny and Tamary. I said Oskar had asked if he could still call them now that we were home, and I suggested once a week. I also acknowledged receipt of Oskar’s review forms and asked if I should bring him with me to the review, as he would have to be there for the whole of the meeting. The first review had been held at school during term time and Miss Jordan had brought him in near the end. I concluded by mentioning that while I’d been away I’d forgotten to set my mobile phone to private number, so Roksana now had my number, although it hadn’t caused a problem so far. I didn’t expect Andrew to reply today as it was Sunday. We phoned Roksana at five o’clock, but the call went to her voicemail, so Oskar left a short message.

      On Monday morning I took him food shopping, then after lunch, while he was playing, I printed a dozen of the nicest holiday photos of Oskar to give to his mother at contact. I then completed my review form and helped Oskar to complete his. I would take the forms with me to the review, rather than post them, to make sure they arrived in time, as the review was on Wednesday. There was now a marked difference in Oskar’s replies compared to his first review form, when he’d been scared, unhappy, anxious and harbouring the painful secret of the abuse he’d suffered. Now his replies were far more positive. He circled many more emojis with happy, smiling faces and wrote that he liked seeing his friend Leo, going to the gym and swimming. I said I’d take him swimming during the summer holidays and we could also arrange some play dates with Leo if he wished.

      At five o’clock we telephoned Roksana and she answered straight away. Stressed, she told Oskar her plane had been delayed by over five hours and then cancelled, and she’d had to catch another, later flight and was now having to go to work having not had any sleep. Oskar remarked curtly that he was tired too and cut the call.

      ‘That was a bit rude,’ I told him. He looked at me sheepishly.

She didn’t call back, but Andrew telephoned a few minutes later and I took the handset out of the living room so Oskar couldn’t hear me. He began by thanking me for my email and said I should bring Oskar with me for the whole of the review on Wednesday. He then said he’d spoken to Roksana now she was back, and contact had been reinstated at the Family Centre with the same days and times as before – Tuesdays and Thursdays, from 4.00 to 5.00 p.m. He asked me a few questions about the phone contact Oskar had been having with his Aunty Dol and her family, and then said he’d spoken to her when Oskar had first come into care, which I didn’t know. He said Dol had phoned him and offered to look after Oskar, rather than have him in care, but Roksana had objected.

      ‘Why?’ I asked. Most parents would consider it preferable to have a family member look after their child if they can’t.

      ‘Roksana wants Oskar to live in this country,’ Andrew replied. ‘She believes he will have a better standard of living and education, and more opportunity to do well.’

      Andrew continued to say that he didn’t see a problem with Oskar phoning his aunt once a week if he wanted to, but that I should monitor the calls, as I was doing when he phoned his mother. I didn’t have Dol’s telephone number, so Andrew found it in his file and read it out to me. He then began winding up by saying that he’d see Oskar and me at the review on Wednesday. ‘Andrew,’ I said, before he had a chance to say goodbye, ‘Roksana told me that Oskar’s abusers have been caught.’

      ‘Yes, that’s correct,’ he said. ‘I don’t know when the court case is yet.’

      ‘So they are being held on remand in prison?’

‘No. They’re out on bail.’ Which I’d feared. ‘Don’t worry,’ he added. ‘One of the bail conditions is that they mustn’t go anywhere near Oskar.’ But that didn’t make me feel much better.

      ‘Let’s hope they stick to the bail conditions then,’ I said dryly.

      ‘Was that my social worker on the phone?’ Oskar asked as I returned to the living room.

      ‘Yes. How did you know?’

      ‘You always go out of the room when he phones.’

      I smiled. ‘That’s so I don’t disturb you. I tell you what you need to know. The good news is that you can phone your Aunty Dol once a week.’

      His little face lit up. ‘When?’

      ‘We’ll start on Saturday, as it’s not that long since you last spoke to her.’

      ‘Goodie,’ he said.

      I could have added: ‘And the bad news is that your abusers are out on bail.’ But of course I didn’t. I wouldn’t be telling Oskar that unless he absolutely had to know. He was doing well now, and I didn’t want to send him back to those dark days of being scared, withdrawn and anxiously looking over his shoulder for black cars every time we went out – although it wouldn’t stop me from checking.