with memories. ‘It’s a relief to be able to talk about him, actually. Mother avoids the subject as if he never existed. And she keeps bringing up the fact that she doesn’t have any grandchildren yet.’
Lindsay’s mouth twisted wryly. ‘Then I must be a double disappointment to her.’
Judi smiled comfortingly. ‘I think we’re all a disappointment to her—even poor Mike gets nagged about how irresponsible he is, and he’s only eighteen!’
Lindsay shook her head. ‘I can’t understand why you continue to stay here. Mother certainly doesn’t appreciate you.’ Lindsay had taken the first opportunity she could to escape her mother’s oppressive attitude after their father died, having moved to London as soon as she had the job to do so.
‘I don’t mind,’ Judi smiled again. ‘My job is here, and most of my friends are too. And when it gets too much for me at home I can always go up to London for a few days to visit my notorious sister!’ she added mischievously.
Lindsay grimaced. ‘I dread to think what Mother’s going to say when I tell her I’ve left Joel.’
‘Do you have to?’ her sister sympathised.
‘I suppose I should,’ she pulled a face at the thought.
As it turned out her mother was the one to introduce the subject. ‘I telephoned you several times last week.’ She looked at Lindsay accusingly, a small plump woman with prematurely grey hair who didn’t look as if she could possibly be the mother of such a tall family. ‘That man Maybury kept telling me you weren’t at home. I would have thought, with—with Mr Sutherland away,’ she even had difficulty mentioning his name, ‘that you would have stayed in during the evenings. I know the two of you have an—unorthodox arrangement,’ she added haughtily, ‘but I’m sure he wouldn’t like the idea of you going out without him like that.’
Lindsay shot Judi a resigned look. ‘I wasn’t at the apartment, Mother, because I’ve moved out,’ she told her bluntly, knowing there was no other way.
Pale green eyes sharpened suspiciously. ‘Moved out? What do you mean?’
She sighed, aware that her young brother was all ears as they sat around the luncheon table. ‘I’ve moved back to my own apartment,’ she explained.
‘Why?’
Her brows rose at her mother’s vehemence. ‘I thought you’d be pleased by the news.’
‘Pleased!’ her mother echoed shrilly. ‘You disgrace the whole family by moving in with that—that man,’ she amended at Lindsay’s frowning look, ‘and now you expect me to be thrilled that you’ve moved out again!’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, I’m not.’ She stood up noisily, leaving her meal only half eaten. ‘You’ll be ruined by this, Lindsay,’ she warned agitatedly. ‘The whole family has been ruined by your selfishness!’ and she stormed from the room.
Lindsay was trembling in reaction to the explosion, giving a shaky laugh to break the tense silence. ‘So much for motherly love,’ she derided.
Judi gave a regretful sigh. ‘She’s just surprised, she expected you to marry Joel.’
‘She wasn’t the only one,’ Lindsay choked.
‘Does this mean you won’t let me look around Joel’s photographic studio?’ Mike put in disappointedly.
‘Mike!’ Judi reproved him frowningly. ‘Can’t you see Lindsay is upset?’ she glared at him.
‘But she was the one who left him——’
‘Oh, be quiet, Mike!’ Judi snapped with uncharacteristic sharpness. ‘Maybe when you’re a bit more mature you’ll understand.’
He stood up. ‘I wish you’d all realise that I am mature!’ He slammed out of the room disgustedly.
Lindsay pulled a rueful face. ‘I think his pride is injured.’
‘Then he should think a bit more before he speaks. Don’t worry,’ Judi assured her as she still looked concerned, ‘I’ll talk to him later.’
‘And Mother?’
Her sister shrugged. ‘She may take a little longer coming round, but she will eventually.’
‘I needed her understanding now, not eventually!’ Lindsay said with bitterness.
Judi sighed. ‘I’m sorry, love.’
So was she, sorry she had ever told her mother about Joel. And she needn’t have done; she could have lied to the whole family, could have simply told them she was changing apartments, and they would have been none the wiser. But she hadn’t; she had been honest about her actions, had borne her mother’s disapproval without demur. It would have been better for everyone, including herself, if she had never heard of Joel Sutherland.
And yet as she lay alone in her bed that night she couldn’t help thinking about him, wondering if he too were lying alone in the huge double bed they had shared for so long. Somehow she doubted it; he had never wasted time in replacing his women in the past.
God, how she ached to be with him now, wished she could go back six months to when she had first moved in with him, could live that time all over again.
Joel had been escorting one of his models for several weeks when she first went to work for him, a beautiful redhead who had lasted only two more weeks before she was replaced by an even more beautiful brunette.
After that Lindsay had watched a stream of lovely women enter and leave his life, none of them touching him emotionally, although several of them claimed to have fallen in love with him, a couple of them crying on Lindsay’s shoulder when she told them she had strict instructions from Joel not to let them into his studio or put their calls through. Their replacement would usually shortly be replaced herself, with the same emotional result.
At first Lindsay had watched this succession of beautiful women with amusement, and then with dismay as she realised she had joined their ranks and fallen in love with Joel herself. She had panicked then, handing in her notice, sure she would get over him if she didn’t have to see him every day, knowing that she would mean no more to him than just being his secretary. But Joel had other ideas; he invited her out to dinner with the supposed intention of talking her into changing her mind about leaving. Dinner had progressed to a quiet club Joel knew, the two of them talking as they had never talked before, Joel kissing her goodnight after taking her home, a light promising kiss that made her ache for more. When he had invited her out the next evening neither of them had mentioned the fact that she had intended leaving his employment. Joel’s goodnight kiss was more demanding this time; the two of them being completely alone in her apartment, although he took it no further than a kiss.
Over the next week their relationship developed rapidly from that of employer and employee, although once he realised she was still a virgin Joel refrained from forcing a conclusion to the rapidly spiralling sexual tension that now existed between them. Lindsay kept waiting for the axe to fall on their relationship, knowing that Joel had never settled for less than a full physical commitment before. But he had brought to an end the tense frustration in a way she had never expected, by asking her to move into his apartment with him on a trial basis.
She knew he had never done anything like that before, preferring to remain at his apartment while his women stayed in theirs. A living together arrangement was far from what she wanted, but the mere fact that Joel had never lived with anyone before gave her hope that they would eventually have a permanent future together.
She should have known better! Joel always treated her well, never demanded anything of her, respected her independence from him at all times. And of course that was part of the trouble. A man in love would have wanted her to be a little more dependent on him than she had been.
Maybe she was back to where she had been six months ago, after all. Despite what she