was dreaming about her parents and his heart skipped a beat. Even with all the trauma in his life, he couldn’t imagine what she was going through. He prayed he would be a good dad to this poor sweet child.
Then he left the room, shrugged out of his robe and climbed into bed—his bed on a pedestal.
Unable to relax, he sighed, plumped the pillow. He’d slept in this exact bed for years, lots of years, and suddenly tonight it seemed wrong for him to be in this big bed, like some king.
He wasn’t a king. He was an outcast. An outcast who’d used his wits and education to best every competitor who came his way.
He’d won.
Yet, tonight it didn’t feel like he’d won. Caring for Bella made him feel ill-equipped and vulnerable. And merely considering breaking his promise to his sisters, Charlotte especially—the only person in his family he still spoke to—and not meeting the family he didn’t want to meet, had also put him on edge.
Which was probably why he’d let some things slip to Claire when she’d asked about his family. He’d never wanted to talk about them before. But suddenly, with her, it was so easy to spill his guts. He blamed it on nervousness over the upcoming trip and once again considered not going. He didn’t want to know these people. He was fine on his own.
But what about his promise? Was he bound by a promise he’d made to his sisters in a moment of weakness?
He flounced onto his side, annoyed with the direction of his thoughts. Especially when he began to consider all the possibilities for fights and backbiting when the Calhoun and Patterson clans got together. Technically, he was the oldest of the Calhoun children, but his “brother” Holt ran the family ranch, watched over the family holdings and “distributed” profits. With no will specifically naming Holt leader of the pack, Matt could come in and assert his rights. After all, who better to manage a family’s fortune than a man who’d made one for himself?
He didn’t want to think about how they probably planned to intimidate him into falling in line with Holt’s wishes. He’d rather think about Claire and her pretty pink pajamas not trying to seduce him but making him crazy with wanting her.
It was no wonder he’d kissed her.
Remembering the feeling of her soft mouth against his, the mating of their tongues, the intense heat that whooshed through him, he almost groaned. But she was in a bed only a wall away and, if he groaned, she might hear him.
And she would ask what was wrong because she was considerate like that, and God only knew what he’d say this time.
He pulled the covers over his head. What the hell was wrong with him? He never wanted to talk to anybody! Why did he suddenly want to talk to her?
He was letting her get too close. That was what was wrong. She was here to help him with the baby and he was out of his element, so in his vulnerability he was making mistakes. But no more. He would learn what he needed to know as quickly as he could so this unwanted vulnerability would go!
Bella’s crying woke Claire at around three. She’d slept an hour later than usual, which was good, but she hadn’t slept through the night.
Realizing all this was new to Matt and that some of it had clearly overwhelmed him, she rolled out of bed and sped to the crib.
“Shh. Shh.” She reached in and pulled out Bella. “I’ve got you! Give me two minutes to change your diaper and we’ll race to the kitchen to get your bottle.”
“I’ll get a bottle.”
Matt’s voice from behind almost made Claire jump out of her skin. She whispered, “You scared me!”
Matt headed for the door. “No need to whisper. With her lungs, Bella could have the whole household up by now…if anybody was here.”
She went to reply, but Matt opened the door and left before she could. No matter. She took the baby to the bathroom, found a diaper and had her changed before Matt returned with the fresh bottle of milk.
As he walked over to her, she sat on edge of her bed. But instead of handing the bottle to her, he took the baby. “We need a rocker in here.”
Shocked that he’d taken Bella and had arranged her on his arm to feed her, she gaped at him. “What are you doing?”
“Feeding her.”
“I can do it. You go back to bed.”
“I need to learn how to do this and I am.”
Respect for him rose up in her. Her father had passed everything to the various maids they’d had over the years. But Matt really wanted to care for Bella. She patted the bed beside her. “You’ll get a rocker tomorrow. Until then, you can’t stand to feed her.” She grimaced. “Well, you could. But it takes a few minutes for her to eat, so you’re better off sitting.”
He grunted, brought Bella to her bed and sat on the spot Claire had patted.
Bella gulped greedily and Claire laughed. “Are we a little piggy tonight?”
Bella grinned around the bottle’s nipple.
Matt slanted her a look. “Are we allowed to talk to her?”
“Sure. It’s like dinner conversation. It helps you to bond.” She paused, smiled at him. “Try it.”
He quickly glanced away. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say anything.” She paused. “Why not tell her about the new family she’s about to meet in Texas?”
He rose. “She’s getting done really quickly. We don’t have time to talk.”
Disappointment skittered through her. It wasn’t good for Bella to have him running hot and cold. And when it came to family he was definitely hot and cold. So she moved them off the topic of the Texas reunion and said, “You should probably burp her.”
He spun to face her. “Burp her?”
His incredulous question made her laugh. “If you don’t burp her the gas will wake her up.”
“The first thirteen years of my life I heard nothing but don’t burp…now you want me to get her to burp.”
“Your mom probably never said don’t burp. She probably said don’t burp in public.”
He snorted a half laugh. “All right. Whatever. How do I burp her?”
She hoisted herself off the bed and walked over to him. Lifting Bella from his arms, she said, “You have to put her over your shoulder.” She arranged the baby on his shoulder and he quickly put one hand beneath her bottom and one hand on her back. Their fingers brushed. Electricity skipped up her arm, reminding her of their kiss, but she ignored it.
“There. See?” She took a step back and quickly turned to walk back to the bed, far too tempted to check his face to see if he’d felt the zing, too. “Now, all you have to do is pat her back until she burps.”
He patted and Bella burped loudly. “Well, that’s interesting.”
“That’s actually great. Now, give her the bottle again.”
Bella finished her bottle, burped again, then fell asleep.
Matt whispered, “So do I put her in bed?”
“Yes, but expect to get up again soon. She’s never slept this much before.”
Sympathy for Bella flashed across his face, and Claire looked away. He was far too handsome and she was far too attracted to him to let all the sympathy and empathy she knew he felt sway her. Combining his good looks and her attraction with appreciation for his love for Bella, it wouldn’t be long before she found herself genuinely liking him—and they’d already decided they weren’t going there.
With Bella in her crib, Matt returned to his room and Claire crawled under the covers on her bed again.