the hell was she thinking? They might have a lot of things from their pasts in common, but how long had she known this guy? Twenty-four hours? Only an idiot didn’t learn from her mistakes. And she’d made a huge mistake at university with Ben, a professor she barely knew. She would not make that mistake again. Especially not with a guy nicknamed Iceman.
She stepped into his bedroom and closed the door with a sigh. They had a huge house at their disposal yet they were virtually sleeping in the same room. Sharing a bathroom. Spending twenty-four hours a day together. Telling secrets they hadn’t told another soul. Was it any wonder they were acting out of character?
She splashed water on her face and looked at her reflection in the mirror around the waterfall. This was the danger Joni had warned her about and she’d fluffed off thinking she was strong enough to resist him.
Well, maybe she wasn’t.
Loneliness made her vulnerable; longing for a family had made her take a foolish risk with Ben. Being with Matt seemed to bring out her loneliness and her longing and wish for things in him that absolutely weren’t there.
Unless she wanted to make another mistake, they had to stop having personal conversations. She had to take this time together and make it all about baby lessons again. No more watching his feelings. No more friendly overtures. Nothing but baby lessons.
When she returned downstairs, he was happily playing with Bella, who still sat in the high chair. As she entered the kitchen, his eyes clouded with regret, which only made her feel worse. If she hadn’t blubbered on about her dad, he probably wouldn’t have kissed her.
“You’re back.”
“I told you I just needed to wash my face.”
“Look, I’m sorry—”
She stopped him with a wave of her hand. “We’re fine. Talking about my dad upset me and I took it out on you.”
His eyebrows rose. “Took it out on me?”
“I normally don’t freak out when someone kisses me.” She drew a breath. “But…” She waited until he met her gaze before she said, “Our circumstances are unusual. We’re virtually sleeping in the same room. We’re playing house with a baby. I think we need to use a little common sense and not do things like talk about our lives and kiss.”
Looking incredibly relieved, he nodded.
They fed Bella as if nothing had happened and carried her back to the nursery. Focusing on the baby, Claire’s calm, confident demeanor returned. As Matt went to the dresser for clean pj’s, Claire opened Bella’s little jeans and stifled a laugh over the sight he’d made of her diaper.
“I should have given you a diaper lesson before I left.”
He sniffed. “Maybe.”
The tightness in her chest loosened a bit. This was what they needed to do. Focus on Bella. Forget about kissing. Forget about talking. Stop trying to be friends.
She considered offering to give him diaper lessons now, but didn’t feel comfortable with them standing so close when they were only a few minutes off a kiss and an argument. Instead, she let him go downstairs for a fresh bottle.
A few minutes later, with Bella asleep in the crib, Matt led her into the office/den. Walking to his desk, he peered back at her. “While you were at your office, I took the liberty of calling a nanny service.”
She could have been insulted, thinking he was trying to get rid of her. But after that kiss she wanted to leave.
“Not giving me a chance to hang up on them this time?”
He smiled. “Exactly.”
As he sat in the chair behind the desk, she sat on the one in front of it. “So?”
“So…since you’re here, I thought I might skip the temporary nanny and I talked with them about hiring someone permanently. They emailed a bunch of résumés and I printed them out.”
He reached behind to the printer on the credenza, pulled out a stack of papers and handed them to her. “I’m giving you first right of refusal. Knowing me the way you do, and also knowing Bella, you probably understand better than anyone who won’t fit with us.”
She took the résumés. “I can weed out the prospective nannies I think won’t work.” She glanced up at him. “But you can’t choose a nanny from a résumé.”
“I’d intended to interview them.”
She nodded. “Good.”
He pointed across the desk at the papers she held. “You pick the ones I should interview.”
She looked down at the résumés. Now that their relationship had returned to something more businesslike, her goal for being here—making sure Bella got the best care—guided her again. “If you want, I can help you with the interviews.”
“That would be great.”
She began reading the résumés, looking specifically for nannies with experience with babies. They called the agency and set up interviews with six of the candidates for Friday.
“So if all goes well,” Claire said, rising from her seat. “You should have somebody on Saturday.”
Matt tossed his pen to his desk. “Yeah.” And then she would go. And then he could stop feeling these odd things he always felt around her.
That was good.
Very good.
Very good for both of them.
She made a few marks on the résumés, and he remained in his seat, not really sure if he should stay or go. Luckily, Bella’s little voice tumbled from the baby monitor.
He bounced off his seat. “I’ll get her.”
Claire rose, too. “I’ll help. I think it’s time for the diaper lesson.”
A laugh bubbled up, but he stopped it before it could escape. Even when she was mad at him, she could be funny. And he liked that—a lot more than he cared to admit. But she’d had a rough childhood, and she deserved a good life with a nice guy. He didn’t fit that bill. So he had to stop responding to her. Stop laughing. Stop telling her things. In fact, maybe it was time to let her go. He knew a lot about caring for Bella and he wasn’t an idiot. Now that he was comfortable with the baby, he could figure out a lot of the rest of it himself. And she’d chosen the best candidates for his nanny. He’d interviewed people before. Surely, he could hire his own nanny.
They walked up the stairs and entered the nursery to find Bella sitting up, her face tearstained, her lips turned down in an angry pout.
“Oh, sweetie,” Claire said, lifting Bella from the crib. “You’re all right.”
Bella nuzzled into Claire’s neck, and clung to her, causing Matt’s heart to somersault. For as much as he wished he could let Claire leave so he could stop having these “feelings” about her, Bella needed her.
Still, he had to get Bella beyond this. She was his child to raise and he would step up.
He walked over, took Bella from Claire. “Hey—” He almost said kid, but wondered if the reason Bella was so slow to bond with him was his direct manner with her. So he said, “Sweetie,” as Claire did. “How about if Daddy changes your pants this time?”
She sniffed and turned to Claire, reaching for her, but Claire stepped back as if she understood Matt’s intention to spend more time with Bella and speed up the bonding process. “I’m right here. But Daddy’s going to change you.”
Bella yelped. Matt just kept going. He walked to the bed and set Bella down.
Claire said, “We should have ordered a changing table.”
He peeked back. “What’s that?”
“It