childhood was weird. Dysfunctional mother, absent father, not enough money, too many upscale neighbors. But she and Nate had gotten along for most of it. He’d been wild, but in a very subversive way. He’d known in junior high that he wanted to join the army. That he wanted to fight, and win. So he had never gotten into trouble, even though he’d done a million things that should have gotten him kicked out of school, if not put in jail.
That’s why it had been so hard to accept that he’d gotten himself into a situation he couldn’t get out of. He wasn’t supposed to die. He was the one who saved everyone else. He was the hero, who always got the girl.
“Hey, you’re not shoveling that nasty stuff into your body.”
“Yeah, well, suddenly I’m not so hungry.”
Boone sat next to her, his giant shake in an equally giant glass in front of him. “What?”
“Just thinking about Nate. I still can’t quite get that he’s dead, you know? Like it has to be some kind of mistake. Nate was…”
“Invincible.”
“Yeah. I saw him die. We’d had dinner, and he was really weird. He looked like hell, and he was jumpy and he wouldn’t talk to me. I was so worried about him.” She lifted her feet up onto the chair again, wrapping her arms around her knees. “I thought maybe he’d gotten into drugs or something. It was the only thing that made sense, even though it didn’t.”
“You were there?”
She nodded, wishing the memory wasn’t so vivid. “The parking lot was almost empty. My car was near the restaurant, but he’d parked across the way. There weren’t even any lights near his truck. I hated leaving him like that. I told him to come stay with me, but he wouldn’t.”
She took in a deep breath, and it was as if she could smell the scent of spices coming from the Thai restaurant. Feel the warm night air. “He hugged me goodbye, really hard. Told me he probably wouldn’t be able to see me again for a long time. But that I shouldn’t worry.”
Boone scooted closer to her, but he didn’t touch her.
“I got in the car, but I didn’t start it right up. I was debating if I should try harder to get him to tell me what was going on. I watched him as he walked to his truck. I gave it up then. Right as he was getting inside. I decided he wasn’t going to listen to me, so I might as well go home. I put my key in the ignition, and that’s when the sky exploded.
“I was thrown to the passenger seat, and I hit my head. I think I was knocked out for a minute, but I’m not sure. All I know is that when I looked out of my shattered window, his truck was completely engulfed in flames. It burned so hot. The fire captain told me there had to have been an accelerant used, because the inside of the cab was almost completely melted. They found enough of him, though, so that I could bury him.”
“Jesus, Christie. I had no idea.”
She didn’t say anything. Or even think much. Just tried to remember his face. The details, like his eyes, the way he smiled. “No one from the army came,” she said, finally. “No one. We didn’t even get a letter. Why is that?”
“I didn’t know. Not until four months after. If I had, I would have come.”
She shook her head. “I’m talking about the brass, Boone. His superior officers. The institution. He was the best soldier there was. I know it. He had medals. He was proud of what he did. So why weren’t they proud of him?” She turned, then, and looked into Boone’s green eyes.
“It wasn’t the army. It was something else.”
“What?”
He looked at the wall, then back at her, the internal debate written all over his face. Tell her? Lie? “There are groups in the government that have specialized interests. I’m sure you’ve heard of covert ops.”
“Spy stuff.”
“Right. One of these groups recruited us to do some jobs. It was all politically dicey, and dangerous as hell. It didn’t go as planned.”
“You’re telling me Nate screwed up?”
“No. None of us screwed up. We were sent to do something that turned out to be very wrong. When we refused to do it, this group wasn’t…happy.”
“This group. They’re who killed Nate? Who are after you?”
He nodded. “I really don’t want to tell you any more than that.”
She leaned over so her shoulder was pressed against his. “Thank you. It helps.”
“Yeah. I wish I could do more.”
“You are. You’re saving my life.”
“You’re Nate’s sister. There was never any question.”
She smiled, wanting so badly to kiss him. To drag him back to that awful bed and make long, slow love with him. Instead, she picked up her fork. The cheesecake was perfect.
BOONE CHECKED THE REARVIEW mirror yet again as he turned another corner. He’d studied his Culver City map before they’d left the firing range. He didn’t take the freeway or any logical approach back to her house. No one was behind them. Christie hadn’t said much, and the closer they got to her house, the more tense she became. She didn’t want to go back, and he didn’t blame her. Unfortunately, if she wanted her life back, there wasn’t a good alternative. “You okay?” he asked.
“Milo’s still sleeping,” she said.
“The vet said he might do that, remember?”
She nodded. “Still…”
“I know. But he got a clean bill of health, so no worries.”
“Right. No worries.”
“Hey, you were great at the range. And you’re going to be great once we get back to the house.”
She turned to him, pale, tight. “I wasn’t great at the range.”
“You hit the target.”
“The outside. Nowhere near his head or his heart.”
He touched the hand on her thigh, and while she didn’t pull away, she didn’t return the gesture. “I trust you.”
She sighed and looked out the passenger window.
“Talk to me,” Boone said, pulling the car over to the side of the street. They were still a few blocks away from her place, but it wasn’t far enough.
“I can’t do this. I can’t go back in there. He wins. He can have it, all of it. I just want to—”
“Who, hold on.” He put the car in Park and turned to her. Behind them, Milo stirred and whined. “What happened? An hour ago you were ready to kick his slimy ass.”
Christie wrapped her arms around her stomach. “I’m sorry. I keep thinking about that red dot on your chest.”
“He won’t kill me. He won’t kill anyone.”
“You don’t know that. He keeps winning, Boone. I know you’re trying. You’re all trying, but—”
“The one thing that’s true is that he can’t stay away from you. And that’s what we have to use.”
“Me. As bait.”
Boone hated this. Almost as much as she did. “That’s about it.”
“I could disappear. The world’s a big place. I’m young and healthy. I could get work, start again.”
“You’re right. You could. You could leave everything you’ve ever known behind. I can even get you a whole new identity. Social security card, driver’s license, all of it.”
“Great.”
“You