to take her breath away. Without fear of being observed watching him, she feasted on the length of his muscular legs, the low-slung faded black jeans, the white shirt, sleeves slightly pushed up even though it was still quite cool. However good she was at being adult and detached when she was in his company, she still knew that her indifference was a long way from being secure.
Raoul popped the boot of his car and Sarah glanced in and said, surprised, ‘What’s all that?’
Raoul gazed down at her upturned face and shot her a crooked half-smile.
‘What does it look like?’
‘You’ve made a picnic?’
‘I haven’t made a picnic. My caterer has. I’ve been assured that there’s an ample selection.’
The past few weeks had been a massive learning curve for Raoul. Having never seen himself in the role of father, he had found himself having to adapt in all sorts of ways that were alien to him. Defined through his staggering ability to work, he had had to sideline hours in front of his computer or at the office in favour of the soul-destroying task of trying to edge responses out of his son. Accustomed to having every word he spoke treated with respect, and every order he gave obeyed to the letter, he had had to dig deep and find levels of patience that were foreign to him—because small children frequently disobeyed orders and often lacked focus. Ferociously against ever asking anyone for help, he had found himself in the uncustomary position of having to take guidance from Sarah, so that his path to a relationship with Oliver was eased. He had had to learn how to jettison his very natural inclination to command. But it had all paid enormous dividends because Oliver was gradually warming to him.
And alongside that he’d been witness to a new side of Sarah, so wildly different from the impressionable young girl she had been years ago. There was a core of strength in her now that intrigued him.
‘I’m impressed, Raoul,’ Sarah murmured, staring down at the wicker basket and the requisite plaid rug, and the cooler which was full of ice-cold drinks.
She imagined that when he decided on a certain course of action he gave one hundred percent of his energy to it. His course of action, in this instance, was winning over the son he’d never known he had, and he had approached the task in hand with gusto. This elaborate picnic was evidence of that. All kids loved a picnic. She loved a picnic.
He slammed shut the boot on Sarah’s dismayed realisation that in the process of charming Oliver Raoul had inadvertently been doing exactly the same with her.
‘Of course I would have been more impressed if you’d prepared it all yourself …’ Her voice sounded forced.
‘Never satisfied …’ But he was grinning in a way that made her skin warm. ‘You’re a tough taskmaster.’
‘You don’t need a caterer to prepare food for you. I know that you’re perfectly capable of doing it yourself.’
‘I’ll bear that in mind for next time,’ Raoul murmured.
‘Next time? There won’t be a next time,’ she told him in a fast rush. ‘Don’t forget that all of this is … you know … part and parcel of your learning curve.’
‘Theme park—tick. Picnic—tick. Homecooked food eaten at the kitchen table—tick. Fast food restaurant—tick. When did you get so regimented?’
‘I’m not regimented. I’m practical. And isn’t it time we left? Oliver’s already in the car. Have I told you how excited he was about today? He could hardly get to sleep last night!’
‘I found sleeping pretty difficult myself.’
Sarah’s eyes widened, and she sucked in a shaky breath as he braced himself against the car, circling her so that she had to half sit on the bonnet.
‘What are you doing?’ she squeaked.
‘I’m tired of trying to kid myself that I don’t want you, Sarah.’
‘You don’t want me. I don’t want you. I know we’ve been getting along, but it’s all because of Oliver—because … because … Don’t look at me like that!’ But her body was betraying her protest. ‘This isn’t part of the plan. You like plans. Have you forgotten?’
‘Which just goes to show what a changed man I’m becoming.’
‘You haven’t changed, Raoul.’ She flattened her hand against his chest to push him back, but just touching him weakened her defences. ‘I told you—we’ve been there. We’re not good for one another. We just need to be … to be friends …’
‘Okay.’ He straightened, and his voice was mild, but there was a glitter in his eyes that made her pulses race. ‘If you’re sure about that …’
He let his hand slide over her shoulder in a caressing, assured move that made her stomach flip and her breath catch in her throat. Then he backed off, and she was gulping in oxygen like a drowning person breaking the surface of the water.
Her heart was beating madly as she slipped into the passenger seat and turned to make sure that Oliver was strapped into his car seat. Over the years, her memories of Raoul had taken on a static form. Faced once again with the living, breathing, charismatic, dynamic and unbearably sexy Raoul, who could make her laugh and make her want to grind her teeth together in frustration in the next breath, had undermined all her defences.
Had he intuited this? Was that why he had made that move? With the confidence of a predator knowing that it was just a matter of time?
The theme park was already packed by the time they got there. Oliver’s excitement had been a slow burn, but his first sight of some of the rides, the chaos of the crowds, and the roar of the machines flying through the air with people dangling from them like rag dolls took his breath away.
‘Does this live up to expectations?’ Sarah asked Raoul halfway through, as he and Oliver descended from one of the child and parent rides. She was determined to keep her head and be as normal as possible. She wouldn’t get in a flap.
It had warmed up, and his polo shirt exposed strong, muscled arms. She watched them flex and harden as he stooped to lift Oliver in one easy movement.
‘Are you asking whether I’ve managed to discover my inner child yet? Nope,’ he told her before she could say anything. ‘I’m not one of those losers who gets wrapped up in that sort of thing.’
But, hell, he’d been doing quite a lot that was out of character for him. A picnic? Since when had he ever been the sort of guy who was interested in picnics? It was even more disquieting to realise that he had done it for her.
‘Well, you should be.’ Sarah saw a golden opportunity to strike out for independence and remind him that she had a life outside his many visits—that he couldn’t just re-enter her life and take what he happened to want because it suited him.
Or maybe, she decided uneasily, it was to remind herself that she shouldn’t be up for grabs, that she had a life outside his many visits. Although where exactly that life was she wasn’t quite sure. The teaching assistant job which she had been due to start was now off the cards as they would be moving from the area, and she was caught in a limbo of not really knowing when she should start looking for something else. Should she wait until they had settled in their new house before she began registering with agencies?
With nothing on the agenda, it had been easy to slip into a comfortable pattern of just Oliver and Raoul. Really, it wasn’t healthy.
‘I mean,’ she continued, as they began walking towards the next bank of rides. ‘I don’t think it’s so much about getting in touch with your inner child. I think it’s more about just being able to relax and have fun. I know you’ve been around us a lot, but that’s not going to last for ever, and when you resume your hectic work schedule … Well, I can’t imagine that you won’t be stressed out. Having fun and taking time out can’t be shoved into a few weeks before normal