her own room.
His hand curled to a fist. He rested his forehead against the doorframe and bit back a curse. That hadn’t been the smartest move he’d ever made. He’d promised he would just be a good friend, but...
But the moment he saw her all good intentions flew out of his head. He’d better get his damn hormones back under control by morning, though, because he and Nicola were going to have a talk. And he meant to keep it completely professional.
He pushed away from the door and headed for his en suite bathroom. He needed a cold shower.
* * *
Breakfast the next morning was hell. Every time Nicola’s mouth closed about her toast or touched the rim of her mug, his body reacted with the memory of those lips on his flesh and the fire they could send shooting through his veins.
When she reached for the strawberry jam, he shot to his feet. ‘When you’re done here, could you come to my study?’
She blinked at his abruptness. ‘Yes, of course.’
Professional, level-headed, he schooled himself as he strode away. He wanted Nicola to stay at Waminda Downs permanently and he had to outline to her in as attractive a way as possible all the reasons why that was a good idea. Hormones would not help him there.
Less than ten minutes later she appeared in his study doorway. He motioned for her to take the seat across the desk from him. He did his best not to notice the soft plumpness of her lips and to close his mind to the scent of strawberry jam. It wasn’t easy, especially as some time during the last few weeks she’d started wearing clothes that accentuated her stunning figure rather than hide it, clothes that highlighted the colour of her hair and eyes and made her skin glow. He gritted his teeth.
‘You wanted to talk to me?’ she prompted.
He kicked himself into gear. ‘Nicola, I want you to consider taking on the role of Ella and Holly’s nanny full-time. Both of them adore you and you’ve fitted in so well at Waminda Downs. Having you here has made me realise that we do, in fact, need a full-time nanny.’
It wasn’t fair to ask Harry to take on so much of the child-minding duties on top of all her other chores. Having Nicola here had freed up both him and Harry. He couldn’t deny he’d enjoyed the opportunity to work around the station more these last few weeks—had rediscovered his love for a good day’s work.
‘I believe you’re right and you do need a full-time nanny, but, Cade, although I’m touched you asked me first, the answer is no.’
His head snapped back. For a moment he couldn’t speak. ‘But...but you haven’t even taken the time to consider it yet.’ His mouth opened and closed. He fought a scowl. ‘I thought you liked it here. I thought you loved Holly and Ella.’
‘I adore them!’ She leaned forward. ‘And I have enjoyed it here, but I made it clear from the first that this was a time-out for me and not a permanent venture.’
His hands clenched. ‘Why can’t you reconsider all that now—?’
‘I love my job as a schoolteacher.’ She sat back. ‘I’ve worked hard to get where I am. Becoming a nanny would not be making the best use of my skills. It would, in fact, be a demotion.’
‘I can afford to pay you your current salary.’ Plus more.
‘It’s not about the money, Cade!’ Her eyes suddenly spat fire. ‘Look, I have no intention of burying myself out here as if I’m afraid to return home, as if I can’t hold my head up and meet anyone’s eyes square-on.’
She wouldn’t even take a few days to think about his offer? He slashed a hand through the air. She was perfect for his daughters. And they were perfect for her. If only she’d see it. ‘That’s just misplaced pride!’
‘No, it’s not.’ Her eyes didn’t flash fire any more. She looked cool. Too cool. ‘Besides, it’s sensible. Down the track, I want to marry and have children of my own. Who am I going to meet out here?’
The thought of another man kissing those luscious lips fired him with an anger he knew he had no right to feel. An unreasonable, unholy anger. He bit back the torrent that clawed at his throat. Think. Think! It would be in everyone’s best interests if she stayed.
She wanted to be a mother.
He wanted a mother for his children.
He shot to his feet. ‘Then marry me, Nicola. That way we can both have what we want.’
* * *
Nicola recoiled from Cade and his outrageous suggestion.
He strode around the desk. She shot to her feet but he caught her hand before she could back away.
‘Think about it,’ he urged in that silky voice that could tempt a saint.
She had thought about it! The life here—her soul craved it. It seemed perfect.
Except...
He didn’t love her. And she wasn’t sure if she loved him. Lust wasn’t love. Nor was a desire for a family. She would not be weak and stupid, as she had been with Brad. She meant to be very sure of her reasons the next time she decided to marry.
If there is a next time, Nicola Ann. At your age there certainly aren’t any guarantees.
She swallowed.
‘I have a family that would embrace and welcome you. We’d have more children, of course. We could have as many as you wanted.’
How many more offers of marriage do you expect to receive?
‘And you can’t deny there’s heat between us. It would be very pleasurable creating those babies.’
She couldn’t deny that. And she couldn’t deny the empty ache that filled her whenever she thought of having children of her own and wondering if that would ever happen, but...
He lifted her chin to meet his gaze, his fingers caressing the skin there. ‘I would be faithful to you. I would do whatever I could to make you happy.’
He meant every word; she could see that. She swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘You don’t love me.’
‘I like you. I enjoy spending time with you. I desire you. And you love my daughters. What more could I possibly need?’
‘Love.’
He frowned. ‘You said the next time you decided to marry, you’d make sure you got exactly what you wanted from the relationship.’ He eased back, his eyes serious. ‘I am offering you exactly what you want.’
She had to bite her tongue. She had to swallow and then draw in a deep breath. No matter how much this man with his angry wounded eyes and his lips that could transport her to heaven tempted her, she would not make the same mistake she had in the past. ‘I was wrong and misguided when I said those things. I was feeling hurt and angry and I wanted to lash out. I wanted to find a way to protect myself, but it was all a lie.’
She pulled herself up to her full height. ‘Since I’ve been here I’ve come to see how wrong that kind of thinking is. If I treated someone that callously and with that degree of calculation it would make me worse than Brad and Diane. I have no intention of...of being such a bitch.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Love is an overrated emotion and—’
‘And it’s precisely what I need, and I won’t settle for anything less.’ She snatched her hand from his. ‘I need love and friendship.’ Her eyes burned and her throat thickened. ‘You made me believe in friendship again, but it was a lie. You don’t care what’s best for me. All you care about is what’s best for your daughters and you’re more than willing to sacrifice me on that particular altar, aren’t you?’
‘I—’
‘But if you think a loveless marriage is what’s best for Ella and Holly then you