why I am not surprised people found me scary. I was so desperate to prove that I could achieve something that I refused to allow anything or anyone get in my way. Relentless is actually not a bad description.’
‘Did she agree? I mean, did she come back from Thailand with you?’
‘My mum went into the best rehab unit money could buy and I already knew that she was going to be there a long time. My dad was going to see her when he could get away from the hotel business and Sean went along when the unit said that she was stable enough to cope. But apart from that it was just the two of us against the world. I thought that was going to be enough to get her through this dark time in her life and magically turn her back to the lovely mum I used to know and everything would be back to normal again.’
Rob shrugged. ‘I was so naïve about mental illness. So wrong. Badly wrong. Things have never been the same. Oh, she can go for a year or eighteen months without a major episode, and then she will fall for some hotshot man and life will be wonderful—until it isn’t. And I have to pick up the pieces and start all over again.’
Lottie hesitated before replying. ‘The other night at the gallery. Was that what you were worried about? That it was all too much for her and she would have a relapse?’
‘No. I was far more worried about what the killer combo of cold remedies and champagne would look like to the real critics who were standing outside with their cameras. A good news story about an artist who has come back after eight years with a wonderful inspirational show does not sell. But give them Rob Beresford’s rehab-refugee mother? Oh, yes. Let’s just say that I was tired of giving them what they want.’
Her fingers slid across the bench and found his. ‘Then Adele is very lucky to have a son like you to protect her.’
‘Is she? I haven’t always been there for her, Lottie. Not by a long way. I had replaced her in my life with Sean’s mother at the very time she needed me as a son. And that sort of guilt does not go away easily.’
‘But you kept that promise. That means a lot in my book.’
Her own eyes pricked with tears, and she laced her fingers between his, forcing apart his fingers, which had tightened into a ball.
Her touch acted like a catalyst, and he ripped his eyes away from the park and focused on her face as his fingers relaxed and squeezed hers back, leaving it to Lottie to break the silence.
Lottie stopped and turned so that she was facing Rob. ‘I have an idea. And you can tell me to mind my own business, but here goes.’
She took a breath. ‘I can see that you want to help your mum become the best she can be. I want to help. She is a remarkable artist and I adore her work. If you like, she can use my studio any time she wants when you are in London together. Room service, accommodation and as much lemon drizzle cake as she can eat, courtesy of the management.’
She clenched her teeth and pretended to duck. ‘What do you think?’
Rob looked into her face for a few seconds, before replying in a low intense voice.
‘You would do that? For us?’
‘In a heartbeat, yes.’
His reply was to take a firmer grip of her hand as he rose slowly to his feet.
‘Thank you, Lottie. Yes. I think that she would like that very much. Although I should warn you, for a skinny artist that woman can eat a hell of a lot of cake.’
Lottie looked up into Rob’s face and what she saw there was like a light in the darkness. He was not used to being shown kindness and was trying to bluff away the depth of his feeling.
Hell, she knew what that was like. She simply had not expected it in him.
And just like that the resentment she had held for the past three years and all of the imagined angst popped like a balloon. Gone. Finished. Over.
Time to start all over again with the Rob she was with right here and now.
Hesitantly at first, then more firmly, she grasped hold of both of Rob’s hands and slowly let him help her up from the bench and back on her feet.
And with that they walked casually, hand in hand, in silence, along the wide path as though it were something they did all of the time.
Rob could never know that her palms weren’t sweating due to the warm breeze, but the gentle way in which his fingertips stroked the tender skin. Her gaze moved over the happy groups of smiling, chatty couples who strolled across the park. Anywhere except Rob. She wanted to look at him so badly it was almost a physical pain.
Except that would mean giving in to the sigh of absolute pleasure that was bursting to escape.
This was what it would be like if she were Rob’s girlfriend. On a regular date.
Except, of course, this wasn’t a date, was it?
This was a kind gesture to his brother’s friend, who had been in the right place at the right time to help him out with somewhere for his mother to stay. That was all it could be. All it was ever going to be.
So, why not enjoy these precious moments and make the best of them while she could? These were the happy memories she would hold precious over the coming months when Rob and Adele had gone back to their exciting, busy lives, and she was merely a person they might see at social events with Dee and Sean.
In a few days she would be back in her normal, safe life. Which was just how she wanted it, wasn’t it?
Her brain was so distracted by the unfamiliar thoughts and feelings whirling around inside her head that she didn’t see the sudden break in the paving slab until the toe of her thin-soled evening sandal caught in the stone and she found herself falling forwards, hands outstretched. Into a pair of strong arms.
It was seconds before her brain connected with the fact that she was standing chest to chest with Rob with both of his arms wrapped around her body, her hands flat against his shirt front.
Just for a moment, Lottie closed her eyes and revelled in the warmth and the strength of his embrace. The exquisite aroma of aftershave, antiperspirant and clean pressed linen. Lemon, blended with the musky spice of light perspiration of the warm summer evening, and something else, something unique. Rob. His scent, his heat. And the strange magnetic pull that made her want to edge closer and closer to him every time they met. The pull that was going to make parting from him so very painful.
The overall effect was so totally intoxicating, that suddenly she felt light-headed and bent forward to rest her brow on his chest.
This was her dream, her fantasy. For a few precious seconds she could pretend that she was just like any other girl out for a stroll with her boyfriend. Pretend that this man cared about her, had chosen her, wanted to be with her.
A strong bicep flexed next to the thin fabric of her dress, and her eyes closed in pleasure. It had been so long since she had been held like this!
Drat Rob. Drat. She couldn’t do this. Why had she agreed to walk with him? He would be flying back to his real world, and she would be back to square one. On her own, holding it together.
‘Are you okay?’ Rob asked, with enough concern in his voice to bring a lump to her throat again.
His hands slid down as she pulled back and smiled up into his face, but instead of stepping away he simply linked his hands behind her back, holding her in place as she recovered.
‘Yes. I think so.’ She glanced down at her shoe. ‘How clumsy of me. Thanks for stopping me from falling flat on my face.’
Lottie leant back so that she could focus only to find him smiling down at her, his eyes scanning her face from side to side, as though looking for something before speaking.
His lips curved back into a wide, open-mouthed smile, so warm, so caring that she was blinded by it. The warm fingers of one hand slid up her back as he dropped his head forward and nuzzled his chin