he paled, staring at her as if she’d morphed into a monster, and she knew she’d gone too far.
He was so infuriating, standing there in his emotional cocoon, holding everyone at bay when all they wanted to do was love him.
Her included.
Damn, she loved him.
Fine time to realise it. Her shock mirrored his.
‘Sorry, that was way out of line. I’m just so mad at you for—’
‘What, Callie? For walking away from you in Capri? For blackmailing you into being my date for the wedding? For sleeping with you again?’ Anger radiated off him like a nuclear cloud. ‘You’ve been mad at me since the day I stepped into your office.’
He jabbed a thumb at his chest. ‘You’ve done such a great job of dumping home truths on me, why don’t you take a look at yourself?’ He took a step towards her, the air crackling with tension. ‘Go on—admit it. You’re still mad as hell for something that happened eight freaking years ago.’
She shook her head, close to tears. ‘It’s not that...’
He gripped her upper arms. ‘Then tell me why you’re so mad.’
She could have lied, could have made up some lame story, but that was what she’d done in Capri. Put on a brave face and lied when he made light of their week together.
Not this time.
‘I’m mad at a lot of things, most of them beyond my control, but I’m mostly mad at myself.’
Confusion creased his brow and his grip on her arms eased now he was convinced this crazy woman wouldn’t slug him. ‘Why?’
‘For being a hypocrite. For making light of what we share now, for calling it a fling and pretending I’m happy with it.’
Archer stiffened as she’d expected when she confronted him with the truth.
‘I’m mad I let you walk away in Capri belittling what we’d had. I’m mad at you for not trusting me enough to tell me what’s going on with you now. And most of all I’m mad as hell you’re going to do the same thing this time around.’
Shock slashed his brow. ‘I don’t know what you want me to say.’
Saddened that even now, when she’d laid it on the line, he couldn’t open up, she touched his cheek. ‘That’s the problem between us, isn’t it?’
Fierce determination lit his eyes as he hauled her close. ‘Callie, I don’t know what you want me to say because I’m clueless here. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, but I can’t change who I am.’
‘I’m not asking you to change.’
Though inadvertently she was, and that wasn’t fair. She didn’t want Archer to give up his life.
She wanted him to love her the way she loved him.
And she couldn’t make him love her. Just as she hadn’t been able to make her dad love her.
That was when it hit her how alike the two really were. On the surface Archer appeared to be more giving of his time, but only with those not close to him. Why, she had no idea and she wouldn’t waste time figuring it out.
How many years had her mum wasted trying to decipher her dad? How much time had Nora spent hoping Bruno would change, that he’d actually commit to something, even if it were only regular visits with his daughter, before being disappointed repeatedly?
She’d hated being second-best in her dad’s affections, and no way in hell would she put herself through that with another guy who couldn’t commit.
She’d finally told Archer the truth and, while he did care, he could never be the guy she wanted him to be.
So she had two choices.
End things now and spend the next day and the wedding being miserable.
Or make the most of their remaining time together.
Her mother’s ‘seize the day’ attitude flashed through her mind.
‘I’m not expecting anything from you.’ She stepped into his personal space, almost treading on his toes, to whisper against his mouth. ‘But it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow and I have a few wishes I need to come true.’
Archer was too smart to buy her excuse completely, but she knew he wouldn’t push it. She’d given him an out from the heavy, confrontational stuff and he’d take it. No doubt.
‘Want to be my personal elf?’ he said, a moment before he kissed her.
She loved this infuriating, emotionally repressed guy, and she’d be anything he wanted for the next twenty-four hours.
For come Christmas morning they’d be saying goodbye, and this time she didn’t want to have any regrets.
ARCHER spent the morning at the surf school.
He’d always done his best thinking at Winki Pop, his go-to place when he’d been a kid. It was like home.
He owned property near Mavericks in Northern California, Pupukea on Oahu’s north shore near the Pipeline, and Jeffreys Bay on the Eastern Cape of South Africa. Perfectly nice houses situated near the world’s surfing hotspots—houses where he chilled at regular intervals.
But none brought him the peace of Winki Pop.
He’d surfed at dawn, eager to escape the house and Callie’s all-seeing eyes.
She’d got close last night, too damn close, homing in on areas of his personal life strictly off-limits.
Hell, he could hardly go there himself.
He didn’t get it. One minute he’d been coaxing her to come back to bed, the next she’d seen into his soul.
The thing was, she’d been right about some of it. He knew his family wanted more from him than he was willing to give. He saw it every time he came home—which was why he rarely did.
But this time he’d tried, damn it. Although he’d already made inroads with his brothers, his mum and Izzy, he’d finally done what he’d been yearning to do for years: tried to bridge the gap he’d created with his dad. But the way his dad had reacted at the surf school had demonstrated there was nothing he could say or do to mend metaphorical fences with him.
Because of that he’d been edgy since, and Callie had noticed. She hadn’t pushed him and he’d appreciated it—until she’d blown up in his face last night.
When she’d admitted to considering their relationship more than a fling—then and now—he’d wanted to say so much, to lay it on the line: how he was feeling, what he was thinking. But with his dad’s rejection fresh from the morning he hadn’t been able to do it. Hadn’t been able to take another chance with his jumbled, messed-up feelings.
Until he sorted out his options for the future, what would that mean for Callie? A casual relationship with benefits whenever he happened to be in town?
He doubted she’d put up with an arrangement like that, and he wouldn’t want her to. She deserved more. More than he could give.
But for one infinitesimal moment, as he stared at the surfers bobbing like buoys on the ocean, he wondered what it would be like to have Callie on a permanent basis.
A woman to come home to.
A woman to love.
Shrugging off the terrifying thought, he resumed his final inspection.
As far as he could see the surf school was in tip top shape and ready for business.
Which