audibly at the pain it caused. She went to help instinctively, but he waved her away.
Kate stood there, her body erect, as the pair glared at each other. She thought of his wallet, bearing no pictures of home or family, and wondered if there would be anyone flying a banner for the Captain when he touched down on the tarmac. She pushed the thought away, taking a breath.
‘Maybe if you weren’t such a stubborn jackass, you would think about this some more. The clock is ticking, Captain. Your time’s not up yet.’
He relaxed a little then, offering her a cheeky half-smile as he rested back against his pillows.
‘Jackass eh? Well maybe if you took that stick out of your arse, we could have more cosy chats. I need to sleep now Missy, so do me a favour; leave me alone, okay? Go plump someone else’s pillows.’
Kate scowled at him, her whole body seething at the sound of his nickname for her.
‘With pleasure, Captain Jackass,’ she said, and she walked away, ignoring his lethargic chuckle at her retreating form.
Kate was sleeping in her cot when she was shaken awake by a frantic nurse. ‘Dr Harper, Cooper is crashing.’ Kate jumped from her bed, still fully dressed in her scrubs and raced to the tent with the nurse hot on her heels. ‘How long has he been down?’ she shouted over her shoulder.
‘Less than two minutes, I came straight here.’
‘Where’s Trevor?’ Kate screamed, racing across the dust for the entrance to the tent, ignoring the burn of the sand in her eyes from the dust her frantic feet were kicking up.
‘He’s in surgery, we had another IED casualty come in an hour ago.’
‘Shit,’ Kate said. Racing across to the Captain, she saw doctors and nurses running around. Whipping back the covers, she saw what she had feared and she sent up a curse to the almighty. His infection had taken hold with a vengeance, the discoloured skin now seeping well past Trevor’s pen line.
‘Okay, let’s run the code. Charge to 300.’ Kate grabbed the paddles, hands shaking. ‘Now guys, let’s go, his organs are failing!’
The machine bleeped its readiness. ‘Clear,’ she shouted, shocking the Captain’s chest. She checked the monitor again. ‘No output, charge to 350. Prep for amputation.’ She waited for the sound of the charge, but nothing came. The monitors continued their music, the beeping of a man circling the drain of death. ‘Move, people!’
Nurse Abby looked at Kate. ‘Kate, he refused amputation. He’s been down for three minutes, and unless we amputate, his body will continue to shut down. I think we need to call it.’
Kate stood, paddles in hand, trying to think. ‘Have you called Trevor?’
‘He’s in surgery, he can’t come.’
‘Did he sign the DNR?’ Kate asked frantically, trying to justify the decision she knew she wanted to take. ‘Did he put anything in writing?’
Abby shook her head. ‘No, but he told Trevor. We could wait for him, he’s being told right now.’
Kate looked at the man on the bed, and thought of the boy on the roof. If Cooper died, what would be the point in any of this? Would she want Jamie’s death to mean something, if her child had been on that rooftop? Life was made of split second decisions, and Kate had made enough to know that she would rather choose fast and live with the fallout. The thought of letting him die felt wrong. She just knew that the world still had plans for this soldier, even if he didn’t realise it yet. She would live with her decision,. If the Captain couldn’t deal with it, then that was his choice. He could die, just not today, and not on her watch.
‘Patients change their mind. Do you want to be responsible for a death that could have been prevented? Abby, please – charge!’ Kate looked at the nurse, feeling the sweat drip down her spine inside her scrubs. She was terrified, but she just couldn’t let him go out like this. Her mind was set. Abby looked at her and the others around them, and shaking her head, she clicked a button.
The beeping noise told Kate the unit was charged.
‘Clear!’ she shouted, shocking the Captain again. His body jerked and his eyes fluttered. She looked desperately at the monitor. Nothing. Nothing on the screen but a line, and a beep heralding the call of the end. Nothing, nothing, then a beat, beat, beat. The pixels on the screen danced across, levelling into a pattern. The prettiest pattern Dr Harper had ever seen.
‘We have him back,’ she said, putting the paddles away. ‘Gown me up,’ she ordered.
Abby looked at the other nurses, no one moving. Kate’s eyes whipped around her colleagues. ‘Did you hear me? Let’s get him under, and gown me up!’
Abby shook her head. ‘It’s against patient wishes. It’s one thing bringing him back once, but this … I can’t.’
Kate glared at her. ‘This man ran across a battle zone to save his colleagues. We can’t let him die like this. If you won’t help, then go!’ she screamed.
The staff all looked at each other, and seconds later, the bed was the centre of a whirlwind of medical professionals. ‘I need a bone saw and a ten blade, now.’
Abby nodded, running to the sterile equipment store and grappling for implements with shaky hands. Kate snipped away the bandages, another nurse prepping the surgical field, and a doctor worked on anaesthetising the Captain.
Moments later, someone passed the blade to her. She took a deep breath, looking at Cooper’s unconscious face, and made the first cut.
Please forgive me.
Cooper
I dreamt I was running across the dust, bullets whizzing past my ear as I raced for shelter, my gun tight to my side. The radio was buzzing in my jacket, shouting my name. ‘Cooper, Cooper, come in.’
Around me, the crumbling buildings fell apart, destroyed by shells and the anger of men. The ground was unsafe, potholes forming before my eyes, rocks shooting up like newly erected buildings. The radio voice kept insisting I move. Keep moving, don’t stop, or you’ll be no more.
I kept running, boots clicking on stones and rubble, sinking into puddles of blood, pieces of the buildings around me laying at my head like rose petals as I literally ran for my life. The noise in the radio changed. This one was female, strong, anguished.
‘Cooper, you have to fight. Cooper, you have to live. Wake up Cooper, wake up …’
I jumped as a pain shot through my lower body. My eyes snapped open, and I realised I was in the same tent, the same bed. It had been a nightmare. I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead, I was drenched. The bed sheets felt wet, sticky to the touch. I flexed my fingers, testing out how my body was holding up. My right hand felt heavy, and I could feel warm, soft skin against mine. I smiled despite myself, and opening my eyes, saw Kate asleep in the chair, hand wrapped around mine. I pushed away the warm fuzzies I felt at waking up again with this woman holding my hand. She wasn’t so bloody cute when she was awake. My whole body felt sluggish, achy and my legs were killing me, a dull but insistent pain running through them. I squeezed her hand, running my fingers along her wedding bands. I wonder what sort of guy had this woman’s heart. Another doctor, probably, as driven and stubborn as her. I wondered whether it was the other doctor I met. I had sensed an awkward kind of closeness between them. She squeezed my hand back, and when I looked at her, her blue eyes were looking straight into mine.
‘Morning Missy,’ I said weakly, my voice coming out as a rasp. ‘Did I oversleep?’
She didn’t acknowledge my attempt at humour, and suddenly the blood froze in my veins.
‘This is it then, yeah?’ I asked. ‘How long have I got?’
She