this again. “One thing at a time, okay?” Celeste missed going to church. Another reason she desperately wanted more plastic surgery. Maybe next year would bring the new life she craved. The one where she could go out in public without feeling like an exotic creature at the zoo.
Sam’s pinched face came to mind when she’d asked him about his injury. She couldn’t really blame him for being upset at the way his life had turned out. If he’d never be able to walk on his own and do all the things he must have loved, why would he be excited to go through the hard work of physical therapy?
Both of their lives were on hold. And they had taken a far different turn from what either of them had expected. She got it. She did. She felt a special bond with him because of it. Had he felt it, too?
“Does Sam have a girlfriend?”
“I don’t know.” And she wasn’t going to find out. Between her disfigurement and her nephew, she couldn’t imagine dating anyone. Especially not the cute guy next door. She lacked flirting skills, anyhow. The feminine gifts women seemed to be born with had escaped her. Too often, she was tongue-tied and awkward on a date. No, she didn’t see a boyfriend in her future. But, hypothetically, if she did picture one, he looked exactly like Sam Sheffield. “I’m here to help him out. Nothing more.”
“You never know,” Mom said in a lilting voice. The set of her chin meant she was ready to dig into the topic.
“I do know.” Celeste stood and began peeling the plastic off the couch. “Dating, romance—I can’t deal with any of that right now. I have enough on my plate as it is.”
“When the right guy comes along, you’ll be ready.” Mom helped her yank the plastic off. “Maybe he’s next door.”
She fought the urge to roll her eyes, even if the idea made her heart beat faster. “I’m his personal assistant, driver, shopper—whatever he needs. That’s it. In the meantime, I need to get at least two more clients for my virtual assistant business.”
Her mother made a face, so Celeste jumped in before she could speak. “And I’ve decided to look into teaching history.”
“Really?” Her mom’s eyes widened, looking suspiciously moist. “That’s wonderful!”
“But first I’m waiting to see what Dr. Smith says.”
Mom clamped her mouth shut, arching her eyebrows. “He’s already told you. You need to let it go.”
She pivoted and marched to the kitchen, shoving the wad of plastic in the trash before returning. “And everything I’ve read said to wait twelve months, get reevaluated and make decisions then. My condition might change.”
“What if it doesn’t?”
“It will.”
“Celeste—”
“Let’s drop it.”
“I don’t want you getting your hopes up only to be devastated.” She stepped forward and cupped Celeste’s chin with both hands. “You’re beautiful.”
Celeste jerked away. Beautiful? Only a mother could say that.
She had a mirror. She was not beautiful.
Mom continued. “Josh’s benefits should be enough to cover your basic expenses, especially since you don’t have to pay rent. Dad and I have your medical bills almost paid off, so don’t worry about money.”
Celeste hugged her mom. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank us. We’re blessed your insurance covered as much as it did.”
“But still... I want to pay you back.”
Mom shook her head and patted Celeste’s cheek. “Dad and I can afford it. We both have good jobs. You worry about yourself and the baby.”
When she had enough clients to support herself, she planned on setting aside money for Parker’s college fund. In the meantime, she’d research what it would take to get certified as a teacher.
Mom pushed up her sleeves. “It might take Parker some time to get used to this change, too.”
“Yeah, I know.” She was new at this parenting thing. She’d been caring for Parker while living with her parents, but they’d helped her when they got home from work. Would she be able to do this all by herself?
“We’re only half an hour away. Call if you need anything. Dad and I will come by a few nights a week, and we’ll take him anytime you need a break.”
The sliding door leading to the deck opened, and her father, Bill Monroe, stepped inside. “Is your mother giving you a hard time?” He kissed the top of Celeste’s head and squeezed her arm. “You doing okay, kiddo?”
The tension in her neck dissolved. Dad had always been her champion, the one she ran to when life got her down. Since Josh’s death and the accident, worry lines had dug deep around his eyes, but his tall, trim figure and thick gray hair still gave him a vital appearance.
“I’m fine, Dad. Just got back from Sam’s. He’s the first person I’ve met in a long time who has as many, if not more, problems than me.”
“I’m sorry to hear he’s struggling. Sounds like he needs your help.”
“Thanks, Dad.” She wiggled one arm around his waist and leaned her head against him.
“Nice yard you’ve got back there. You’ll have to watch Parker with the ornamental pond, though. It’s wider and deeper than it looks. It only takes a few inches for a child to drown.”
“Do you think we could fence it off?”
“We have to do something. I’ll run over to the hardware store.” He patted his back pocket to check for his wallet, then pulled out his keys. “Be back in a few.”
Mom returned to the kitchen and unpacked glasses. “Are you sure you can handle Parker? If it’s too much for you, say the word and we’ll move you home with us.”
She grimaced, shaking her head. “I need this, Mom.”
“But—” Concern glinted in Mom’s eyes.
“Don’t worry. If my headaches get bad again, I’ll consider it, but I don’t think it will be an issue. They’ve been much better since summer.”
“Okay, okay.” Mom stretched on her tiptoes to place a glass on the upper shelf.
Celeste stripped packing tape off a box in the kitchen and stacked plates in a cupboard. This cabin felt like home already. And knowing she wouldn’t run into anyone from her past took a layer of pressure off. All the rumors about the accident had gotten back to her over the previous months. Variations on the same theme—she’d been either texting or negligent or intoxicated before the car jumped the ditch and wrapped around a telephone pole.
A shiver rippled over her skin. No, she hadn’t been texting or drinking. But if she’d paid more attention to the weather conditions, she would have realized the pavement was covered in black ice. She would have driven slower.
And Brandy would be alive.
The plate in her hand slipped. She tightened her grip.
When she got the surgery and no one could see the scars anymore, they would forget about the accident. She’d be able to face herself in the mirror. She could look at Parker and not want to crush him to her, crying out, “It was my fault! I killed your mommy!”
She’d lived with the visual reminders for too long. They’d forced her into hiding, away from the options that used to be available to her. Her mind flipped to Sam, his comment about not wanting his life.
She didn’t want hers, either.
The life she wanted depended on more surgery.
* * *
Sam