Catherine Lanigan

Sophie's Path


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      Sophie cleared her throat. “I can see you’ll be okay. Get some rest and don’t forget your appointments on Monday.” She took her car keys out of her pocket and headed for the staircase.

      Just as she reached the newel post, she looked back. He was staring at the counter and not at her. “Jack. I’m sorry about Aleah.”

      Jack’s face contorted with pain, anger and sorrow. “Please, Sophie. Just leave.”

      She rushed down the stairs and out of the garage. As she started her car, she realized she was crying. Her tears flowed like a dam that had burst. From the moment the accident victims had been brought into the ER, Sophie had checked her emotions. She’d kept her mind on her work and the duties she needed to perform in the moment. She and the other team members lived in a bubble during events like that. There was no past and no future. Only the instant. A tiny fraction of time where souls were suspended between the life on earth and the world after this one. The decisions she made had been critical. And everlasting.

      Was Jack right?

      Had she made the wrong choice about Aleah? If she’d stayed with her, if they’d done tests or performed the thoracentesis sooner, would that have made a difference? Would they have gained another five or ten minutes that might have allowed the defibrillator to do its job?

      Was Nate correct that Aleah was likely anorexic? Were her electrolytes to blame for her heart attack? Was it true that she’d never had a chance in the first place?

      Sophie drove out of the wooded glen and back to the road that led to town. She turned left instead of right so she could drive around the lake. The lake helped her collect her thoughts. Often, after a particularly hard day of surgeries, if she couldn’t run the lake trails, she would at least drive around it to clear her mind. The water, whether choppy or placid, gray or crystal blue calmed her. But not today.

      Today, Sophie didn’t feel much like giving thanks or praise. Her heart was as heavy as Jack Carter’s. She wondered if one of the reasons he’d urged her to leave so quickly was because he wanted to drown himself in tears just as she was doing.

      * * *

      IT HAD BEEN two weeks since Aleah’s death and today was the first day Sophie had felt like stepping beyond the boundaries of the hospital or her apartment.

      She sat on a red-leather-and-chrome fifties-style stool at the lunch counter at Lou’s Diner, sipping an iced tea while she waited for her lunch. She liked the former train car that had been turned into a retro diner years ago. In the next car over was The LTD, also run by Lou, which served gourmet meals that made Sophie drool just reading the menu. She’d only eaten in The LTD once. That was the night of her graduation, when she’d received her RN. Her father had been healthy then and her mother was electric with pride. Even her Italian grandmother, who spoke little English, agreed to eat in an American restaurant. It had been a hallmark day for the Mattuchi family.

      Sophie tried to remember what dreams she’d had for herself then. Mostly, she’d just been happy to be done with finals and evaluations.

      However, she must have had some ambition because she’d only worked for a year at Grand Rapids Hospital before she realized she wanted more. She’d decided to specialize in cardiac surgery. She went back to school to get her master’s degree in nursing science and then she entered a highly competitive fellowship program to specialize in cardiovascular care. During her placement, she often felt she was only a half-step behind the heart surgeons she worked alongside. Until she returned home to Indian Lake. Once she started working with Nate Barzonni, she realized that there truly were gifted, intuitive talents in every field. Nate was a virtuoso. A genius. He could have written his own ticket to the country’s top hospitals, but Nate had decided the fast lane was not for him. He spent nearly as much of his time working at a free clinic on an Indian reservation as he did in the high-tech ablation unit at Indian Lake Hospital.

      Still, Sophie supposed that Nate’s main reason for setting up shop in Indian Lake was Maddie Strong—now his wife. Sophie grimaced, remembering how she’d literally thrown herself at him when he’d first moved back to town. She had decided that to win Nate Barzonni, she’d attempt a makeover. Granted, her initial thoughts were veering down the right path because she’d needed to make changes. But she should have realized that her tactics had “disaster” written all over them.

      Sophie had chopped off her hair and streaked it blond to look as much like Maddie Strong as possible, since Maddie had been Nate’s type when they were in high school. She went on a diet and lost eight pounds. She bought new clothes and fell back on her old standby—flirting.

      But Nate was a one-woman man and he’d chosen Maddie.

      Rightfully so. Maddie was the best woman, a fact that Sophie had known all along.

      The following spring, Sophie flung a bit of caution to the wind and—not coyly—made a pass at Nate’s brother, Gabe. Gabe was very forthright and told her he just wasn’t into her. Little did she know that a few months later he and Liz Crenshaw would be married. Frankly, at the time, she didn’t think Gabe knew Liz at all. In fact, Sophie could almost claim that if it hadn’t been for the Mattuchi family selling Gabe part of their vineyard, Gabe and Liz might never have gotten together at all. Now, they were expecting their first baby.

      Yep, I learned my lesson all right. It was time to get her act together. But in the right way.

      A waitress dressed in a blue-and-white-striped uniform with a white pinafore apron delivered a cheeseburger and fries.

      It had been over half a year since Sophie had ordered a meal that contained double the calories she now consumed each day. But she hadn’t ever been responsible for someone dying on her watch before, either.

      Two thousand calories? Who cared? Maybe she’d have apple pie à la mode for dessert.

      She was just about to squirt mustard on the burger when she heard a woman’s voice say her name.

      “Sophie? Is that you?”

      Sophie twisted around on the stool. Oh, no. It was Katia Stanislaus. The most gorgeous creature God ever built. Just looking at Katia’s svelte figure, dressed in a gray linen sheath dress, matching gray pumps and some exotic designer purse Sophie guessed cost three times her car payment, caused her to clench her teeth. She glanced down at her burger and fries. She could already feel the lead they’d form in her belly. She plopped the bun down and wiped her fingers on the paper napkin.

      “Katia! Hi!” Sophie wondered if she sounded cheerful enough.

      Katia was several years older than Sophie, but Sophie remembered when Katia was named Indian Lake High School Homecoming Queen. Track Queen. Yearbook Queen, but not Prom Queen. Katia had left town abruptly right before prom. Katia was one of those women who grew more beautiful with the years. Sophie would have liked to blame her own hard work for the fine lines around her eyes that Katia didn’t have. But Katia was a steamroller in the insurance business. She’d heard everyone from Maddie to Olivia Melton praise Katia’s work ethic.

      Katia glided right over to Sophie and sat on the stool next to her. She glanced at Sophie’s lunch. “How’s the iced tea?”

      Sophie smiled wanly. She’d have to add merciful to Katia’s attributes. “Good. Not as good as Olivia’s raspberry herb tea at the deli.”

      Katia laughed.

      Her voice sounded like tinkling chimes. No wonder Austin McCreary melted when she blew into town last fall. What man could resist her?

      Now that Katia was back in Indian Lake, amazingly, she and Sophie had become reacquainted. Actually, if it hadn’t been for Katia, Sophie would probably still be apartment-hunting. Katia had been on the verge of vacating Mrs. Beabots’s apartment in order to move into Austin’s house while they planned the wedding, when Sophie overheard Maddie Barzonni and Sarah Bosworth at Cupcakes and Coffee discussing Mrs. Beabots’s soon-to-be-vacant apartment.

      Several years ago, right after Sophie moved back to Indian Lake from Grand Rapids, her father had