daring, she ventured to ask, ‘Is that what you want? To be like him?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘It’s all become confused. When I was growing up my one thought was to follow in his footsteps and be a power in the land. People were awed by him, they hurried to please him, and that seemed wonderful to me. But I was immature and, as you grow up, things happen to you—’
He grew silent. After a while he repeated softly, ‘I simply don’t know.’
A noise made him look up quickly, smiling as if everything was normal. Nobody, Harriet thought, could guess that the moment of insight had taken him by surprise. Now she felt he was trying to forget it.
‘Ah, here’s Kate with the next course,’ he said cheerfully. ‘And not only Kate.’
Phantom had slipped in and came to curl up near the table.
‘Have you had enough?’ Harriet asked, caressing his ears. ‘Has the guest of honour been properly cared for?’
A soft woof was the reply.
‘How did Phantom happen to be with you and the rest of the crew that night?’ Darius asked when they were alone again. ‘I gather you’d been out on a shout. Don’t tell me he comes too?’
She laughed. ‘No, I left him with my neighbour—’
‘To protect him from me?’
‘Please.’
‘All right, I won’t say it again.’
‘She was out walking him when she saw the boat coming home across the water, so she waited, then came and joined us.’
‘How old is he?’
‘Fourteen, maybe. He belonged to Brad, my husband, before we married, and he’d got him from a home for abandoned dogs, so he wasn’t sure of his age. I know he’s getting on a bit but he’s still full of beans.’
There was a hint of defiance in her voice that warned Darius to go carefully. Fourteen was old for a dog, especially a large one, but not for the world would he have voiced his conviction that she would soon lose her beloved companion.
‘Talking of being full of beans, are you really better?’ she asked.
‘I’m fine now. I’ve spent some time in bed—why that cynical look?’
‘I’m getting to understand you now. All that time in bed, I’ll bet you weren’t alone.’
‘No, I haven’t seduced any willing ladies—’
‘I meant you had your laptop computer with you.’
‘Ah…yes…I see.’ He met her teasing eyes and grinned sheepishly. ‘I fell right into that one, didn’t I? Yes, I did have it with me now and then. But not always. I got a lot of sleep and I have to admit you and Kate were right. It was what I needed. And, as well as rest, I’ve been taking exercise. I go swimming from my private beach. I keep looking out for you, but you’re never there.’
Her eyes widened in theatrical innocence. ‘But how can I be? I don’t have the permission of the owner. He’s a terrible man. When he found me there once before he was very annoyed.’
‘No, you just imagined that.’ He grinned. ‘In future you go there whenever you like. And take Phantom too.’
A soft noise from under the table told him that this was appreciated.
‘And I’m not glued to the computer all the time,’ he continued.
‘No, I’m sure you read the Financial Times and The Wall Street Journal—’
‘I’ve been reading up about Herringdean and its history. It’s fascinating.’
‘You’ll find that this island is two places,’ she said. ‘We’re not behind the times. There’s plenty of dot-com. But it’s the wildness that makes Herringdean stand out, and draws people.’
‘Have you always lived on the island?’
‘Yes, I was born here.’
‘And your husband?’
‘No, he came over because he worked for a tourist firm, and they were setting up a branch.’
‘And you met, fell in love and married quickly?’
‘A couple of months.’
‘Wow! A decisive lady! How long were you married?’
‘Nearly eight years.’
‘Any children?’
‘No,’ she said quietly.
‘And he died quite recently?’
‘Last year.’ Suddenly she became animated. ‘You know, this coffee is really delicious. Kate is a wonderful cook.’
He was silent. Walter was there in his mind, talking about Harriet’s husband, saying, ‘When he died we thought she might die too, she was so crushed…I don’t reckon she’ll ever really get over him…’
Now the way she’d swerved off the subject seemed to suggest that Walter was right. It was a warning to him to be cautious.
‘What about your children?’ Harriet asked. ‘Have you managed to call them again?’
‘Yes, several times. There’s a dangerous situation building up. Mary’s going to remarry soon, and if I’m not careful I could be elbowed aside.’
‘But you won’t let that happen.’
‘No, I won’t. I had time to do a lot of thinking while I was resting. It’s incredible how being half-awake, half-asleep can make things clear to you.’
Harriet nodded, and for a moment there was a faraway look in her eyes that roused his curiosity. But it vanished before he could speak, and now he thought he understood. Beneath her cheeky schoolgirl charm lurked a woman who kept her true feelings, and even her true self, safely hidden away. In fact, she was mysteriously like himself.
‘So what conclusions have you come to?’ she asked.
‘Not to let myself be sidelined. I try to call them every day.’
‘I’m sure they’re glad of that.’
He made a face. ‘They’re not. I made a hash of it the night of the accident and things haven’t really improved.’
‘Well, you weren’t at ease on the phone, I could hear that, but surely they understood what a state you were in.’
‘Maybe, but I’m seldom much better than I was then. I don’t know what to talk about. It was easier when we were living in the same house, but I’m not really part of their lives any more. Perhaps I never really was. Mary accused me of never putting them first.’
She nodded. ‘Children really do like to feel that they have all your attention,’ she mused.
Suddenly he saw her as she’d been that day in the shop, talking to the little boy as though only he existed in the entire world. And the child had responded with delight. When had he seen such a look on the faces of his own children?
‘You’ve got a fight on your hands,’ she said, ‘but you’ve got to go about it the right way. Do you want some advice from a friend?’
‘If the friend is you, yes.’
‘That night when you called them after the accident I heard her voice on the other end. I couldn’t make out every word but I heard enough to show me an unhappy situation. You told her you’d been “held up” and she said, “You always get held up. The children went to bed crying because you didn’t keep your word.”
‘And then she said, “I’m not going to let you hurt them by putting them last again.”’
She