he didn’t need her stuff now.
‘For what it’s worth,’ Zack said, ‘I regretted it.’
And Freya said nothing. She guessed more than ten hours of surgery counted for a little lapse and that he might also later regret saying what he just had.
‘I’m going to get something to eat.’
‘Well, whatever you ordered was just delivered to your office and, I have to say, it smells amazing. Go and have a rest,’ Freya said. She had never seen someone look so wiped out.
‘I’m just going to try and grab an hour and then head back up there.’
‘Do you want me to come and wake you?’
‘Would you?’
‘Sure.’
Zack went to go and then again changed his mind. ‘Freya, could you take my pager and answer it? If it’s PICU come and get me straight away but if it’s anyone else...’
‘Sure.’
‘Were you going home?’ Zack checked.
‘Nope.’
The food was amazing, and he ate it and then rehydrated with more water. Then he lay back on the plush couch and tried not to go over the surgery in his head. He just wanted to clear his mind.
Only he couldn’t.
Twice during the surgery he’d thought he’d been wrong to take the procedure on. One hour in, he had considered closing but had pushed on. Five hours in he had been certain that the heart was too much of a mess, but it wasn’t as if he’d had any choice by then but to carry on.
Watching that heart start beating when it had come off bypass, he’d heard the elation in the theatre but had said nothing.
Going in to speak to Maria, he had warned her that the next forty-eight hours were critical and had been guarded with his optimism. No matter how Zack had warned her that Paulo might not make it through surgery, that the little boy had survived was more of a miracle than Maria would ever know.
Since the operation started he had not been able to relax for a moment yet now he had to.
And Freya knew that too.
His pager buzzed and when she saw that it wasn’t from PICU Freya rang the switchboard. ‘He’s not taking any calls unless it’s PICU. If you can take a message I’ll pass it on.’
‘Sure,’ the operator said, and Freya waited and then frowned when the operator came back on. ‘It’s his father calling from Australia, he says that it’s urgent.’
‘Okay,’ Freya said. What choice did she have? ‘I’ll let him know.’
Freya knocked on the door to his office and went in. ‘Zack,’ Freya said. ‘Zack!’
‘Is it PICU?’ He sat straight up on the second call.
‘No...’
‘Later, Freya.’
‘It’s your father,’ Freya said. ‘He says that it’s urgent.’ She handed his impatient hand the phone.
‘What’s going on?’ Zack asked. ‘Is it Mum?’
He saw Freya standing there and he glanced up, about to tell her, as she had once told him, that he’d like some privacy, given it was clearly a personal call. Then he saw the concern in her face and it wasn’t intrusive.
Freya saw his glance and realised she was hovering, and tried to remember the rules, but as she went to go he caught her wrist and frowned as his father spoke on. ‘Zack, I need some medical advice. Do you remember Tara?’
‘Of course I remember Tara, Dad.’ Zack’s jaw gritted—did they think he had no soul just because he hadn’t stayed? ‘Is she okay?’
‘Tara’s doing well, it’s the baby that’s causing me some concern.’
‘Tell me.’
‘He was four weeks premature and breech but healthy, they kept him in for five days and he was discharged at birth weight.
‘He’s fourteen days old now and for the last couple of days Tara’s been coming in. The baby seems to be doing well but...’
‘Dad?’ Zack frowned because his father sounded hesitant yet he was the best diagnostician Zack knew.
‘He’s eating, he’s drinking and he’s crying. I can’t put my finger on it, Zack, but there’s something not right. There’s a big emergency north of here, only high-priority transfers...’
‘What does Tara think?’
‘Well, Jed—’
‘Not her husband,’ Zack said. ‘What does Tara say?’
‘She’s distraught. She says that his cry has changed. I can’t pick up a murmur...’
‘Do you think that it’s cardiac related?’
‘I’m sure that it is,’ his father said. ‘That’s why I’m calling you.’
Zack went through everything. There was some sweating but the temperatures were sky-high back home, and there was also a slight reduction in peripheral perfusion, his father felt, though that was more on instinct.
‘I should get him seen but on all the guidelines he’s non-urgent at this stage.’
‘Dad, if he’s got a ductal dependent lesion...’ Zack didn’t need to spell it out that these babies were all too often diagnosed at post-mortem. ‘If you’re worried then he needs to be seen straight away.’
‘There’s been a train crash and the air ambulances have to prioritise.’
‘I don’t think you called me for a chat,’ Zack said.
‘No.’
‘He needs to be seen by Cale. I’ll call him now and he’ll put the baby’s transfer as a priority.’
‘There’s not much to go on.’
‘Yes, there is,’ Zack said. ‘You have forty years’ experience, I’d take that any time. What’s the baby’s name?’
‘Max,’ his father answered. ‘Zack, what if I’m wrong?’
‘Then I’ll be more than happy to wear it. I’ll call you back when I’ve spoken with Cale. You tell them to send the air ambulance as a priority.’
Zack no longer felt tired now.
Freya sat on the couch as he rang his mentor and then called his father back.
‘It’s all sorted in Brisbane—they’re expecting him. Cale’s coming in and will be there when the baby arrives.’
‘Thanks, Zack. We’ve got clearance for the air ambulance.’
Zack breathed out as he ended the call.
His head couldn’t take it. The very thought of Tara going through what Maria had today brought it all too close to a personal level, which Zack did his best to avoid.
‘That was my father...’
‘I heard,’ Freya said.
‘Tara’s my ex.’ He shook his head. ‘Too much?’
‘No, I think it’s nice that you care.’ Freya really did, as the impression given by Zack was that he always walked away without a second glance.
‘Well, my parents don’t think that I do. They’ve both asked if I remember her, as if I’ve cut off the first eighteen years of my life. In fairness they never knew we were on together, but as if I’d forget a friend!’ He was not going to spill it all out just because he was tired, and anyway PICU rang at that moment to alter