Lauren Child

The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection


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      ‘Never mind little girl, it is a very difficult test – tricky for children to make sense of.’

      ‘Oh that’s a relief because this question didn’t make any sense at all.’

      He looked over her shoulder.

      (25) Spectrum agents Bret and Emily and Chuck are all driving to a Clairvoyants’ concert. They set off an hour before the concert. Bret takes route A which is twice as long as Emily’s route B but the average of their two routes is the same as Chuck’s route C. Trouble is Bret gets lost and goes 10 miles out of his way meaning he ends up travelling as much as the combined distance Chuck and Emily travel. Assuming they all drive at 40 miles an hour, how late is Brett for the concert?

      ‘I have to admit, less able people do find that a tough one,’ he smiled meanly.

      Ruby looked at him, all big eyed innocence. ‘Oh that’s not the problem. I get that the answer is fifteen minutes – it’s just I don’t get why anyone would travel so far to go see a lame band like the Clairvoyants.’

      Miles Froghorn’s mouth twisted into a mean little O. He snatched up the papers and stormed out of the room. Ruby wished she could tell Clancy about this super sap. She could just see Clancy’s expression, mouth wide, eyes blinking – boy, could she ever do with talking to him.

      While she waited, Ruby amused herself by doodling unflattering pictures of Froghorn in the back of her notebook – they were pretty good actually.

      Twenty-five minutes later there were footsteps in the corridor and Ruby was relieved when it was Hitch who walked into the room and not the silent G.

      ‘Ready to go kid?’

      Ruby nodded.

      Hitch motioned to the door. ‘Come on then, let’s get out of here before Froghorn sees those unpleasant little cartoons you did of him.’

      ‘Hey, how did you know about that?’

      ‘I was watching you on the monitor – not bad, you have a talent for caricature.’

      ‘Thanks,’ said Ruby. ‘Clancy and me are thinking of publishing our own comic book.’

      ‘Good for you,’ said Hitch.

      They walked in silence for about fifteen seconds before Ruby blurted, ‘So?’

      Hitch gave her a blank look.

      ‘So, how did I do?’ said Ruby.

      ‘Oh that,’ replied Hitch. ‘Yes, well done – thirty-six out of thirty-seven. Not bad.’

      ‘I got one wrong?’ said Ruby dumbfounded.

      He winked. ‘Nah kid, I’m just messing with you.’

      Ruby stopped walking. ‘So you’re saying I passed? I musta passed right? I mean thirty-seven out of thirty-seven, that has to be a pass.’

      Hitch looked at her. ‘Don’t get your underwear in a twist kid, you passed.’

      She tried to keep her cool but still, she had just passed the Ninety-Nine second test; anyone would find themselves smiling about that, wouldn’t they?

      When they stepped inside the elevator, Ruby asked, ‘So who is this mystery Bradley Baker guy?’

      ‘Bradley Baker?’ replied Hitch. ‘He’s no one.’

      There were a lot of things Ruby didn’t know about Spectrum but one thing she was already sure about was that Bradley Baker was not ‘no one’.

       Chapter 13.

      As good as gold

      HITCH LED RUBY TO A RAINBOW-COLOURED office where Buzz was sitting. Her desk was a circle and she sat in the middle surrounded by telephones – each one a different colour.

      ‘Now what?’ said Ruby.

      ‘Now you wait here, good as gold until someone tells you otherwise,’ said Hitch firmly.

      ‘What am I waiting for?’ asked Ruby.

      ‘LB,’ he said. ‘She wants to brief you – so don’t go walkabout, kid. Sit tight – that’s a rule. Remember?’

      Ruby did sit tight – for all of twenty-nine seconds. And then she had an idea. This might just be her chance to return the watch before anyone knew it was missing.

      She looked over at Buzz, who seemed to be waiting for one of the fifty-two phones to start ringing

      ‘So that’s why you’re called Buzz,’ said Ruby.

      Buzz looked baffled.

      ‘The phones, people always buzzing you?’

      ‘No,’ said Buzz. ‘That’s not why.’

      It didn’t take long before one of the telephones did start to ring, the yellow one. Buzz picked it up and started talking, in Japanese. That’s when Ruby stood up and signalled that she urgently needed to take a trip to the restroom.

      ‘It’s OK,’ she mouthed silently. ‘I know where it is, I’ll be fine.’

      Buzz bit her lip anxiously and pointed at her watch to indicate ‘don’t be long’.

      Ruby opened the door and walked speedily down the corridor until she got to the restroom. She went in, took off her boots and placed them in one of the stalls. This way if anyone were to come in, what they would see would be Ruby’s feet. She then silently slipped back out and ran softly up the corridor, remembering to turn right when she reached crimson, and left when it dissolved into cerise. The door, she remembered, was about half way down. Now for the code. She recalled how Buzz had looked at her watch before she had punched in the numbers.

       I’ll bet that’s it.

      She pulled the Escape watch from her pocket, checked the dial and punched in the exact time.

      The door clicked open. Too bad I gotta return this watch, it’s coming in kinda handy.

      As she walked, the lights in the display cases popped on around her, the gadgets gleaming under the glass, like jewels in a jewellers. She went over to the drawer where the watch belonged and was about to open it when something caught her eye. It was a silver whistle – looked like a dog whistle but the label was smudged. Maybe it was the ribbon, maybe it was the fact that she had always wanted a silver dog whistle, but Ruby found that she couldn’t resist slipping it over her head and looking at her reflection in the glass.

      She blew into it – no sound at all. Surely it wasn’t just a dog whistle? She blew into it again and again, still nothing. In her frustration she started blowing and inhaling in the way that one might suck air in and out of a harmonica.

      ‘Must be broken,’ said Ruby out loud, but her voice seemed to be coming from far, far away.

      Wow, so it’s a voice thrower. She inhaled again. ‘Hello,’ she said. This time her voice sounded as if it was coming from right behind her. She experimented some more – there were four little holes in the whistle, and whichever one her finger covered determined the direction her voice came from – north, east, south or west of her. Point the whistle up – her voice was thrown above her.

      It was precisely at the moment she called out the words, ‘I’m over here!’ that someone else decided to enter the room.

      Ruby quickly ducked down behind the cabinets.

      ‘Did you hear that?’ said a voice she didn’t recognise.

      ‘Hear what?’ said a second voice.

      ‘Hey, these lights shouldn’t be on.’

      ‘Must be something wrong with the sensors.’

      ‘You