present the last lecture of the series, and his mind would be back on the list of patients he would be seeing once he was back in New York. But for now, Sapporo, Japan, or New York City were simply places on a map while here, before him, was a place in time he wanted to exploit. “So, can you walk out of this banquet room, or would you like me to carry you?”
“How about you go first and I’ll follow in ten minutes?”
“So, this is to be a clandestine affair?”
“Clandestine and cautious,” she said. “Because we have only tonight. This is just the fantasy. Do you understand? Tonight, the fantasy. Tomorrow, the reality.”
“Yes,” he said, because he wasn’t a greedy man. One night was all he had in him. That was the way he structured his life. “Very good rules to live by. No relationship, no tangles. That’s been my motto for years.” Even though he imagined one night with Michi was more than anything he’d ever hoped for. But even in the fantasy there had to be practicality. That was the story of his life. He didn’t want a real involvement. It was too complicated. Hearts got broken. Someone survived while someone else did not. No, what he did, what he had, worked. A life without those involvements suited him just fine.
“Ten minutes,” he said, brushing a slow, lush kiss to her lips before turning and walking away. Yes, ten minutes before his world would change, even if only for one night. But, for the first time in his life, he felt oddly uncomfortable with that arrangement. To think about why or put thought into it would only ruin the moment, and he wanted this moment like he’d wanted no other before. So, he put it out of his mind as he pushed the elevator button and went to his room on the sixth floor.
* * *
Michi stood in the hall outside his door for several minutes, simply staring. Was she totally out of her head, seducing him the way she’d just done? She paced back and forth for a little while, downed the rest of her champagne, wished she had another glassful. Then finally she drew in a deep breath, bent down and took off her ungodly uncomfortable shoes, stepped up to his door and knocked.
When he opened to her, she simply handed him her shoes on the way in, and it took a full twenty seconds before she realized he’d already rid himself of his shirt. And there he was, the perfect image of the man of her dreams. Interesting, smart, a little intense. The typical tall, dark, handsome hunk. Smoldering. Sexy. Virile. Provocative. Seductive. All those descriptions from her fantasies come to life. All hers for a little while.
“You’re thinking too much,” he said, as he shut the door and tossed the shoes aside.
“Good thoughts,” she said.
“About me, I hope.” He started to walk toward her, but Michi held out her hand to stop him.
“Playing games?” he asked.
“Making memories.”
He chuckled. “We haven’t done anything to make memories of, Michi, and if you’ve changed your mind, it’s not too late for you to turn around and go back downstairs to the reception you’re hosting. That would be the practical thing to do.”
“Maybe I don’t want practical,” she said, moving closer to him, then raising her hand to slide it around his neck. “Maybe I’m always practical and tonight I want something else.” Even though her mind was still a little wobbly, it was made up. One night, one time with one perfect man. The handsome stranger who would come and go in her life and leave her with a memory of the time she’d stepped outside herself to do something daring. No strings, no attachments. Throw caution to the wind this once, because the wind had never thrown anything back that wasn’t painful.
So, no, it wasn’t her style, but she didn’t want it to be. Just once she wanted to know what being bold and reckless would feel like, as being anything else hadn’t gotten her what she wanted. But one night of excitement with Eric and maybe that would be enough before she stepped back into her life and its harsh realities.
And Eric was... He was pure, raw sex and total excitement. And she wanted it all.
MICHI SATO LOOKED UP at the massive building, wondering how many stories high it was. She guessed somewhere between twenty-five and thirty, all belonging to Eric and, maybe someday, Riku?
She really hadn’t given Eric’s status much of a thought up until now, and simply seeing his name in gold looming over the massive bank of revolving glass doors caused her stomach to churn. Even as outgoing as she was, she wasn’t up to this. Finding herself so close to Eric now, after all this time, caused too many unanswered questions to come to mind.
Her motivation for that night, his motivation as well. Certainly nothing long term had been meant. They’d both made that clear during pillow talk and foreplay. Then look what had happened. Especially after her doctor had told her only weeks before it was an impossibility. That her condition had gone from bad to abandon all hope.
“I’m so glad he was wrong,” she said, kissing Riku on the cheek. “Mommy hasn’t done everything the best way she could have, but that’s all going to change now.” After Eric knew he had a son. After Riku’s surgery. There were so many things weighing her down now, so much guilt she had to come to terms with, she didn’t know where to begin. But she was here to start a new course. At least, that was what she kept telling herself. New course, new direction, new leaf turned over. It sounded good, but in practice...well, that was the part she wasn’t sure about. But the first step was behind her now, and that was good.
Of course, she’d told herself other things, too, that she’d backed away from, hadn’t she? Namely, not telling Eric he was daddy to her two-year-old. She’d tried, had made futile attempts at calling, texting and using any other means of electronic communication available. Then she’d given up. But that didn’t make things better. In fact, in the long run it would make things worse than she could probably even imagine.
“Mommy’s going to make it all better,” she said. How? She didn’t know. But she’d figure it out.
And now, on the second step of her journey—trying to figure out how to tell him—here she was, looking in Eric’s window, holding his son, and so confused her head was spinning. In just a few days Riku’s long-awaited surgery would take place—a surgery Eric should know about as it had been his specialty when he’d been a practicing surgeon.
Of course, that would have meant telling Eric somewhere along the way that he had a son, then also telling him his son had a heart defect. Neither of which she’d done. Yet. Except the yet part was looming like a black raincloud over her. All the good intentions in the world wouldn’t stop it from bursting and pouring down on her. It was up to her to make the plan that would avoid it—step into a doorway or, in this case, Eric’s office.
But, no. Instead, here she was, like a little girl with her nose to the toy-store window, hoping for the prettiest doll inside. Expecting to get it but fearing she wouldn’t. Expecting Eric to overlook that she’d kept his son from him all this time but fearing he would not forgive her. And in some fragmented way, hoping the three of them could become a family on some level. All while the black cloud was getting closer and closer to bursting.
“Be glad you’re too young to know about responsibilities,” she said to Riku, turning so her body would shield his from the slight gust of warm wind whipping up the streets and down the alleys. “Or how to make something right you’ve already made such a mess of.”
Realistically, she wasn’t counting on things turning out well as far as Eric was concerned. Sure, he could walk away from the entire situation, which didn’t seem at all like the man she’d known for little more than a night. Or he might recognize Riku as his son, then want more of Riku in his life than she was prepared to give him. And that seemed the greater possibility. But would he go so far as try for full custody since she’d hidden his sick child from him for two years? Or argue that she was negligent given how he