masculine, along with his short dark hair which was mussed in a good way. Dark-blue eyes met hers and he seemed more serious than she remembered. More compelling. And more dangerous.
He was still handsome, and looking at him did scary things to the rhythm of her heart, which had already worked pretty darn hard in less than twenty-four hours. But he was different somehow. The self-confident, cocky air that had first captured her interest was missing in action. He seemed more watchful, wary, on full alert.
His face was strong, with a square jaw and a nose that was not quite straight. Looking closer, she noticed a scar on his chin, a back-slash that she didn’t recall. And she would. She’d kissed every inch of his face during those intense weeks they’d been together, before he’d abruptly told her it was over between them.
Kate slid her hands into the pockets of her scrubs as she looked up at him. “I’m on my way to lunch.”
“Mind if I join you?”
She shrugged. “Suit yourself. But it’s hospital food. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Roger that.”
The cafeteria was on the first floor and she led him through the maze of hallways until the scent of food drifted to them. It was late for lunch and the room was practically empty. They took red plastic trays from the stack and slid them along the metal shelf in front of the steam table while studying the day’s menu choices—beef stroganoff and chicken teriyaki. She looked up at Joe, intending to break the tension and say something light and innocuous about the awful food, but her tongue refused to work. She was immobilized by the expression in his eyes—probing, intense, alive, knowing. Suddenly she wasn’t hungry—at least not for food.
She cleared her throat, then said, “I recommend a hamburger.”
He nodded, and she ordered two. They got drinks from the fountain dispenser, then filed by the cashier and Kate insisted on paying because of her employee discount.
When they were facing each other across a table, she cut her hamburger in half. Anything to keep her hands busy. Unfortunately, the movement also highlighted the fact that they were shaking. “So—I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”
“It was bound to happen.”
“Because of J.T.,” she said.
“Because Southwestern Helicopter Service is my company and we have the contract for medical evacuation with Mercy Medical Center.”
“I knew that.” It was another reason she’d half expected to see him when his tour of duty ended. “I just figured as owner of the company, you were running the show from behind a desk.”
“No way.” He shook his head. “The way I see it, anyone who doesn’t want to fly is crazy.”
Mentally she raised her hand for a free pass to the psych ward. She liked both feet on the ground, thank you very much. One irreconcilable difference in the con column and she suspected there would be more. Part of the problem was that she didn’t know how many more. She’d spent several sizzling weeks with this man and talking hadn’t been high on her list of things to do with him. But the list had changed. He was J.T.’s father and she knew very little about him, except that he’d charmed her into breaking her rules, then disappeared and broke her heart. That’s what happened when you didn’t follow the rules. She wouldn’t be making that mistake again.
“I see,” she said.
Without cutting it in half, he took a manly bite of his burger, then chewed. “So, who watches J.T. while you’re at work?”
Probably he’d have asked that even if she hadn’t mentioned their son a few moments ago. And she was going to cut him a break on the slightly judgmental tone in his voice and chalk it up to her imagination, aggravated by guilt from leaving her son in order to make a living and put a roof over his head. “I have someone.”
“I guess you checked out this someone?”
“Of course. She’s mature. A grandmother.” When she noticed the look on his face, she added, “A young grandmother. She has references.”
Joe finished his hamburger while she picked at hers and made crumbs out of the bun. Without consciously forming the thought, Kate had known that Joe showing up would complicate her life. But this conversation was making her uneasy. Somewhere she’d heard that the best defense was a good offense. Although whoever had said it probably wasn’t facing off with an honest-to-goodness warrior.
“Look, Joe, I’m not sure exactly what you’re getting at. But I’ve got questions, too. Like, why didn’t you call before coming by last night?”
He shrugged. “I’m a fly-by-the-seat-of-the-pants kind of guy.”
“And I’m a feet-on-the-ground and plan-everything-out kind of girl.”
“Not when we were together,” he said, heat blazing in his eyes.
He was right about that. From the time she was old enough to understand that her mother chose one loser after another, Kate had promised herself that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes. She would do things in a practical, orderly way. She would fall in love, get married, and after a reasonable length of time, probably two years, they would have a baby.
Then she’d met Joe. He came into Mercy Medical’s E.R. for stitches in his hand and laid his follow-me-into-sin grin on her. She’d known she was flirting with danger, but the excitement of it was irresistible. She couldn’t believe that a man like him was interested in Candy Carpenter’s only daughter and for once she silenced the practical voice that warned her to run far, run fast. Instead, she’d run straight into his arms for a magical month.
Then he’d simply said it was over and he was deploying for a year. After that, she’d buried her pain behind an it-serves-me-right attitude and figured she got off with a cheap lesson. Mostly she believed that until she found out she was pregnant and had made the mother of all mistakes—pardon the pun. But that didn’t mean she was like her mother. She took care of herself, all by herself. And that’s the way she liked it.
“We were together a long time ago,” Kate said. “And a lot has changed since then.”
“Yeah.” Shadows slid through his eyes as he nodded. “You had my baby.”
“And I wouldn’t trade him for anything,” she said fiercely. “I love that child more than I ever imagined it was possible to love anyone. Everything I do, every decision I make is for him.”
“Okay. But I’m back now. If I’d been here…”
What would have been different? He’d dumped her. So what if it had taken her a while to let him know he was going to be a father? The decision was huge. Her own father had skipped out before she was old enough to remember him and Kate had often wondered why he’d bothered to marry her mom in the first place if he didn’t plan to stick around. Joe had just done the not-sticking-around part up front.
Finally she said, “It’s okay, Joe. It’s not your fault you couldn’t be here for J.T.”
“But I’m here now.”
“Yeah.” And they needed to talk about what that meant. Real soon. But she wasn’t ready yet.
“I want to do the right thing, Kate.”
“What does that mean?”
More importantly, did she really want to hear this?
The uneasy feeling grew in her chest until she had trouble drawing in air. J.T. was hers. She could take care of him, support him, raise him to be a good man. She didn’t want or need anyone’s help for J.T. to be healthy and happy. If she didn’t let anyone else in, the chances of keeping him happy went up. If she did it herself, she would know it was done right because she would always be there for him.
She looked at Joe and braced herself. “Define the right thing.”
“We