Ellie Darkins

Newborn on Her Doorstep


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I get back from court and pop in to see my brother in his new flat, and he’s got this crazy story about your dear sister and a baby and a hospital. I didn’t have a clue what was going on, so I thought I’d better get down here and find out just what he’s talking about. Explain, Lily! Where’s this flippin’ baby come from? What are you doing here? And why does my brother look so cagey whenever I mention your name?’

      Lily couldn’t help but laugh—trust Kate to boil this down to the bare essentials.

      ‘She’s Helen’s baby. Helen left her on my doorstep with a note. Your brother was passing by to pick up his keys and...and kept us company while we were waiting here.’

      It was rare that she saw Kate lost for words, but she dropped into a chair now, silent, and Lily could practically see the thoughts being processed behind her eyes. Her barrister’s brain was reading all the evidence, everything that Lily was saying, and everything she wasn’t.

      ‘Okay, give it to me again. And this time with details.’

      Lily sighed and took a breath, wondering how many times she would have to repeat everything that had happened. But when she came to talking about Nic her words stumbled and faltered.

      ‘Nic turned up to collect his keys just as I’d been left literally holding the baby and was freaking out. He suggested we walk over here and have her checked out.’

      ‘And then he waited with you? How long for?’

      Lily glanced at her watch. ‘A couple of hours, I guess.’

      Kate blew out a deliberate breath, and Lily raised her eyebrows.

      ‘What?’

      ‘Nothing...nothing,’ Kate said, but Lily had known her long enough to know that she was hiding something.

      ‘Not nothing,’ she told her best friend. ‘Definitely something.’

      Kate looked at her for a long time before she replied.

      ‘Something,’ she agreed, nodding, her eyes sad. ‘But not my something to tell. Can we leave it at that?’

      Lily nodded. Though she was intrigued, her friend’s rare sombre tone had pulled her up short and warned her to stop digging.

      ‘So you and my brother, then...?’

      ‘It’s not like that.’ The denial came to Lily’s lips as soon as she realised what Kate was getting at. ‘I don’t think he wanted to be here at all. He looked like he was going to bolt the whole time.’

      ‘So why didn’t he?’

      True to form, Kate had hit on the one question that Lily had been searching for an answer to—to no avail.

      ‘I’ve no idea.’

      ‘I’ve got one or two,’ Kate said with a sly grin. ‘So what happens with the baby now?’

      Another question Lily had no answer to.

      No doubt between the hospital staff and the police someone would be arranging for a social worker to visit her. But she had no intention of letting her niece be looked after by anyone but herself. She knew that she could look after her—she already ran a business from home, and had flexibility in her hours and her work. It was one of the things that she enjoyed most about her job as a freelance web designer—the chance to balance work and home life. She’d manage her work commitments around caring for the baby—whatever it took to keep the little girl safe and with her family.

      ‘She’s coming home with me.’

      Lily gulped at the baldness of that statement, and backtracked.

      ‘Until we can find Helen.’

      ‘Right. And then you’re going to hand her over to a woman who’s been living God-knows-where and doing God-knows-what for years?’

      ‘Helen’s her mother—’

      ‘And she seems pretty clear about who she wants taking care of her daughter. I’m not saying that taking her home is a bad thing—she’s family. Of course you want to look after her. I’m just saying it looks like it might be slightly more commitment than a regular babysitting gig. Are you ready for that?’

      Ready for a family? It was what she’d wanted for as long as she could remember. She’d been lucky after her mother had died. She’d been placed with a wonderful foster family who had slowly and gently helped her to come to terms with her grief. She’d certainly been luckier than her sister, who, at sixteen, had decided that she was old enough to look after herself.

      They’d exchanged letters and emails, but over the years they’d become less and less frequent, until now she couldn’t even rely on a card at Christmas. All she wanted was a family of her own. To recapture something of what the three of them—herself, her mum and Helen—had had before the accident.

      She’d even looked into ways to build that family. After her own experience of foster care she’d thought of offering her house to children who might need it.

      The old family home had seemed echoey and empty when she’d moved back in when she was eighteen. Her mother’s will had protected it in a trust for her and her sister, but it had been lonely with no one to share it with. But she’d never considered she’d ever be handed a newborn baby and asked if she was ready to be a parent.

      ‘We have to find Helen,’ Lily said. ‘That’s as far as I can think right now.’

      ‘There is one slight flaw in that plan,’ Kate said.

      ‘Only one?’ Lily asked, only half joking.

      ‘Your house. It’s currently a building site, and—unless I’m much mistaken—not exactly ready for a newborn...whether she’s going to be there permanently or not.’

      Lily’s face fell. In all the drama she’d somehow managed to forget the chaotic state of her house. There was no way that she could take a baby back there. And if she couldn’t take care of her niece that left only one option. Letting social services place her with strangers. Her gut recoiled at the thought of losing another member of her family, of her and Helen and their past being fractured even further.

      ‘Don’t look like that,’ Kate said. ‘This is not insurmountable. We can sort this out—’

      ‘That’s really kind,’ Lily said, her mind still racing, ‘but your place barely has enough room for me to pull out the sofa bed. I’m not sure that—’

      ‘Not me!’ Kate exclaimed. ‘Good God, no. We’d lose the baby under a stack of briefs or something. Nic’s place—it’s perfect.’

      Lily gave a little choke.

      ‘Nic’s place? I couldn’t possibly impose...’

      She couldn’t share a flat with that man—not when she felt drawn to him and afraid of that attraction in equal measure. When her skin tingled just from being in the same room as him.

      ‘Honestly, you should see his place. It’s ridiculous. A penthouse—overlooking the river, naturally. He told me it was something to do with investing his golden handshake money, and London property prices, and being able to do so much more with the money once he sold up. Personally, I think it might have something to do with sleeping in hostels for the best part of a decade. It’s huge, and he’s barely ever there.’

      Even the thought of a Thameside penthouse couldn’t convince her that spending more time with a man who had her wanting him and wanting to run from him was a good idea. But what choice did she have? If she wanted to take care of her niece she couldn’t afford to be picky about what help she accepted. And, anyway, what she thought was probably irrelevant...

      ‘Nic would never—’

      ‘Nic will be travelling on and off for the next few months. He’s due to fly out again tomorrow, I think. You won’t see each other much. And if the man who’s