“In Edmonds. We didn’t have a big yard, but it was beautiful. She spent hours out there every day on her knees digging in flower beds. I remember the hollyhocks, a row of them in front of the dining-room windows. Delphinium and foxgloves and climbing roses. Mom said she liked flowers that grew toward the sky instead of hugging the ground.”
“Oh,” Lucy breathed. “What a lovely thing to say.”
“She talked like that a lot. My father would grunt and ignore her.” Damn it, why had he said that? Adrian wondered, disconcerted. Reminiscing about his mother was one thing, about the tensions in his family another thing altogether.
“I’m sorry,” Lucy said softly. Perhaps she saw his face tighten, because instead of asking more about his father or when his mother had disappeared from his life, she said, “I thought about starting a small flower bed under my front windows this spring.” Almost apologetically, she told him, “I don’t have very much time to work in my yard. I wanted to take Elizabeth with me to the nursery to pick out the plants. She has such a good eye.” Her hand crept onto the coverlet and squeezed the inert, gnarled hand of his mother. “I wish she’d wake up and say, ‘When shall we go?’”
She sounded so unhappy, he thought with faint shock, she loves Mom. How did that happen?
“I’m surprised to see you here again this morning.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Because Dr. Slater tried to bully me into staying away?”
His mouth twitched. He doubted Ben Slater knew how to bully anyone. Although…“I have a friend who took a class from him in med school. Tom says he’s a tough grader.”
“You checked up on him.”
“Wouldn’t you have?” he countered.
The pause was long enough to tell him how reluctant she was when she conceded, “I suppose so. Did he get a satisfactory rating?”
“A gold star. He’s the best, Tom says.”
“I could have told you that.”
But he wouldn’t have believed her. They both knew that.
When he didn’t respond, she asked, “Have you made a plan yet?”
He looked back at his mother, watching as her chest rose and fell, the stirring of the covers so subtle he had to watch carefully to see it. “Move her to Seattle. What else can I do?”
As if he’d asked quite seriously, Lucy said, “Leave her here for now. Until Dr. Slater says she can go to a nursing home. And we even have one of those here in Middleton, you know.”
God, he was tempted. Leave her to people who cared. Whose faces she’d recognized if she opened her eyes.
Abdicate.
He shook his head reluctantly. “I don’t have time to be running over here constantly. And it sounds as if the chances are good she won’t be waking up.”
Lucy pinched her lips together. After a long time, she said, “I suppose that’s true.” She gazed at his mother, not him. “How soon will you be taking her?”
“I don’t know. I’ll get my assistant hunting for a place with an open bed.”
Now she did turn a cool look on him. “Won’t you want to check it out yourself?”
“Why do you dislike me?” he surprised himself by asking.
With a flash of alarm in her eyes, she drew back. “What would make you think—”
“Come on. It’s obvious. You think I should have found her. Taken care of her.”
Her chin rose fractionally. “I suppose I do.”
Adrian shoved his hands in his pockets. “I did look for her some years back.” He rotated his shoulders in discomfiture. “I suppose…not that hard. I thought she was dead.”
Her brow crinkled. “Why?”
“Even as a kid, I knew there was something wrong with her. My father claimed she’d gone to a hospital to be treated. Then he told me she’d checked herself out because she didn’t want to get well. I was young enough to believe that if she was alive, she wouldn’t have left me.”
She stared at him, and prompted, “Young enough to believe…? Does that mean, now that you’re an adult, you don’t have any trouble believing she’d ditch you without a second thought?”
God. He felt sick. That rich breakfast wasn’t settling well in his stomach.
“Apparently she did,” he said flatly.
He felt himself reddening as her extraordinary eyes studied him like a bug under a microscope.
She surprised him, though, by sounding gentle. “How old were you?”
His jaw tightened. “Ten.”
“And you never saw her or heard from her again?”
He shook his head.
“How awful,” she murmured, as if to herself. “Your father doesn’t sound like a, um…”
“Warm man?” Irony in his voice, Adrian finished her thought. “No. You could say that.”
“Have you told him…” She nodded toward the bed.
“He’s dead.”
“Oh.” Compassion and an array of other emotions crossed her face, as if the sunlight coming through the window were suddenly dappled with small, fluttering shadows. “Do you have other family? I didn’t think to ask if you had sisters or brothers.”
Adrian shook his head. “Just me. Dad remarried, but as far as I know he and my stepmother never considered having kids.”
She nodded, her gaze softer now, less piercing.
Without knowing why, he kept talking. “His parents are still alive. I’m not close to them.” He hesitated. “My maternal grandmother is alive, too. I haven’t told her yet.”
“Oh! But won’t she be thrilled?”
“I’m not so sure. She might have preferred to think her child was dead. To find out she didn’t care enough to ever call home…” He shrugged.
“That’s not fair! She forgot who she was!”
“But then Maman may feel she failed her in some way.”
“Oh,” Lucy said again. “Maman? Is that what you call her? Is she French?”
“French Canadian. She lives in Nova Scotia. That’s where I was, with my grandparents, the summer my mother went away.”
“What a sad story.”
Oh, good. He’d gone from being a monster in her eyes to being pitiable. Adrian wasn’t sure he welcomed the change.
When he said nothing, she flushed and rose to her feet. “I really had better go. I don’t do breakfast, but it’s time for me to start lunch.” She hesitated. “If you’d like…”
What was she going to suggest? That she could feed him free of charge like she had his mother?
“Like?” he prodded, when she didn’t finish.
“I was going to say that, after lunch, I could take an hour or two and introduce you to some of the people who knew your mother. They could tell you something about her life.”
“Your sister started to.”
He felt weirdly uncomfortable with the idea. But if his mother died without ever coming out of the coma, this might be the only way he’d ever find out who she’d become. Perhaps she’d even given someone a clue as to where she’d been in the years before she came to Middleton. He thought his grandmother, at least, would want to know as much as he could