to her skin. It made something joyous erupt in his chest. Even as it was just confirming his worst fears. That she’d never really felt anything for him. Just physical desire.
‘Your stepfather saw the attraction between us and made the most of it, didn’t he?’
She shook her head numbly.
‘He made you flirt with me…made you pretend to show an interest…made you come to the hotel that night dressed like a—’
‘Stop!’ Her mind worked feverishly. He still didn’t know that she hadn’t been aware until that day. Her heart was still safe. Her arms dropped to her sides unconsciously. ‘How…how do you know this?’
‘Just something someone said. I didn’t need to hear any more…I knew immediately. I can’t believe I didn’t see it at the time…but I was blinded.’
She tried to figure out what she could say to keep him happy and send him on his way. Looking at him, having him so close, was quickly becoming unbearable. ‘He threatened me with something…too huge for me to fight alone.’
‘Your mother?’
She sucked in a breath. ‘How do you…?’
‘You have a bond that goes beyond anything I’ve ever seen. And you’re like a mother bear with a cub whenever she’s mentioned…plus she’s inordinately happy for a recently widowed woman who had been left with nothing.’ His voice softened. ‘Maggie, I heard…that he was violent…Did he ever—?’
‘Never me. Unless I got in the way,’ she said bitterly. ‘Always her, though. And I could never protect her. Nothing could. Not even the police. He was too powerful.’
A vivid image came into his head, a sick feeling. ‘That scar…on your thigh…’
Maggie went paler. ‘I got in the way one day…when he was…when I tried to…he knocked me out of the way and I fell into the ironing board, the iron…’
Rage filled him. He opened his mouth but Maggie had had enough. She held up a hand. ‘Please, Caleb. You know now. Thank you for giving us back the house and for paying off the tax debts…My mother told me. You didn’t have to do that—’
His hand slashed the air. ‘Of course I did. It was my fault your mother was put in that situation; it was the least I could do.’
Maggie continued; she wanted him gone. ‘I’m sorry I deceived you too eight months ago, but it’s over. Please, just go.’
For a second he half turned as if he was going to go. Maggie held her breath, a hollow feeling spreading throughout her body, but then, abruptly, he came back. She was rooted to the spot.
‘No…Maggie, I won’t go. Because I want to know—once Holland had died and there was no threat any more, why didn’t you try to defend yourself?’
‘Would you have believed me?’
‘Perhaps not at first,’ he conceded. ‘But it wouldn’t have taken much to convince me. I’m not such an ogre and I would never have taken the house if I’d known.’
‘I know…’ she said quietly.
‘So…why?’
Her brain had become mush. Why, indeed?
When he said it like that now, so simply, she could have cursed herself. It had simply never occurred to her. Her main priority had been self-protection, but hadn’t she ironically gone the most self-destructive route? Since she’d seen him again…her brain had become so scrambled that she’d happily sabotaged herself. In an effort to block out reality and to have him on any terms. His terms. She was pathetic.
‘Because I thought you wouldn’t believe me…’It sounded weak to her ears.
‘So you allowed me to use you, take you as my mistress, let me make love to you almost every night…put on the not very successful pretence of someone who was the complete opposite to what you really are?’
‘But it was…’ she breathed, not realising that she was giving herself away spectacularly.
He felt triumphant. He lifted a brow. ‘Then why leave everything behind? The clothes, the jewels, the car?’
‘Because they weren’t mine,’ she answered simply.
‘Exactly.’ He looked smug. ‘Any other woman would have cleaned out the lot. And more. Believe me.’
She felt as though she was being wrung out on a rack; he was stretching her and stretching her to breaking-point. Her voice came out brittle and harsh. ‘Look, Caleb; what do you want? I can’t tell you any more…’
But he was relentless. ‘I bet you made it all up, just to keep up the front…College? You put yourself through it and never took a penny from Holland, am I right? Probably lived in a bedsit with mice rather than take his money. Lovers? I know you weren’t a virgin, but you weren’t far off it, Maggie.’
She went even more ashen at his uncannily accurate assessment. He noted it with something close to fury rising in his chest—fury at himself.
He was immovable, implacable. She knew instantly the only thing that would move him would be the one thing that would kill her. But if it meant she’d get rid of him then she had no choice. Before he guessed the full truth, if she could protect herself from at least that…
She squared her shoulders. ‘It was cockroaches, actually, and you want the truth?’ She tossed her head. ‘Here it is. The truth is that I had one lover before I met you, in college. And I didn’t know what Tom had planned until…until…’ She couldn’t do it.
A stillness entered Caleb’s body. He came closer and Maggie could feel the heat from his body reach out to caress her, touch her. He had to go…now. She had to be strong.
‘That day.’
‘The day of the date?’ he queried sharply. Too sharply.
Maggie turned away in agitation, arms around her body. ‘Yes, damn you, yes!’ She turned around again. ‘There! Are you happy now? I didn’t know until that day, so in case it’s not completely obvious, let me spell it out for you. I had a crush on you, Caleb, a monumental crush. I believed that you possibly felt something for me too and I stupidly believed that you wanted to take me on that date, to get to know me.’
‘Maggie…’
She could see a flare of something in his eyes. Her voice shook. ‘Don’t you dare pity me, Caleb Cameron. I don’t need your pity. It was a crush, that’s all. Desire. Tom followed me to Oxford Street that day and made me buy that…that dress…’ a shudder of revulsion went through her ‘…then he told me what he’d do to my mother if I didn’t comply. I had no choice.’ The fight went out of her; she looked away. ‘But then…I just…’
‘Couldn’t go through with it.’
She looked back quickly and a shiver of something indefinable ran through her. He was looking at her with…not pity…something else and it made her silly heart speed up. He came close, too close, and only then she became aware of the fat tear sliding down her cheek. She didn’t even know she’d been crying. He reached out a hand and she jerked away.
‘You’ve been minding her for a long time. And you came back to Dublin to escape, didn’t you?’
Why did he have to say that so gently, as though he really cared? She nodded slowly, more tears slipping hotly down. His hand came out again. This time she couldn’t move as he wiped his thumb back and forth. The contact was too much. A broken sob escaped and, with a curse, Caleb closed the distance, pulled her forward and into his arms. He held her for a long time. Until the sobbing had stopped. Rubbing her back as though she were ten years old.
But then she didn’t feel ten any more. She felt like a grown woman whose body was springing into life, pressed as she was, tight against the length of