just been talking to Tiarnan, and—oh, I don’t know—a few things aren’t exactly adding up: like the fact that little more than a week ago my brother paid a fortune to kiss you in front of hundreds of people when he avoided a public display of affection even on his wedding day; like you’re still in his house in Madrid and tomorrow you’re heading to a tropical paradise together.’
‘With Rosie too,’ Kate quickly asserted—as if that could save her now.
‘Kate Lancaster, please give me some credit.’
The hurt in her friend’s voice was unmistakable, and Kate’s heart clenched painfully.
‘Don’t you think it’s always been glaringly obvious to me that you’re never exactly overjoyed when Tiarnan is around? You close up tighter than an oyster protecting a pearl.’ Sorcha’s voice changed then, became more gentle. ‘Look, I know something happened between you two all those years ago in Dublin.’
Kate could feel the colour drain from her face. ‘Sorcha, I—’
Sorcha sighed audibly. ‘It’s OK, you don’t have to say anything. I just knew … and when you never said anything I didn’t want to push it. But I just … Katie, you were there for me when I needed you, and I always wished that you’d trusted me enough to be there for you too.’
Kate’s stomach had plummeted to the ground. ‘Sorch, I’m so sorry. I do trust you—of course I do … I just—he’s your brother, and I was just so mortified. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you …’
‘OK, look, we can talk about it again—but right now just tell me: do you know what you’re doing?’
What could Kate say? She felt a bubble of hysteria rise. She was lurching between excoriating confusion and being absolutely sure that this was what she should be doing every two seconds. When she’d gone down to see Tiarnan in his study, after he’d come home from dropping Rosie to school, all rationality had flown out of the window. Yet despite her early-morning revelations, she’d been so determined to resist the awful temptation to give in and bring to life her greatest fantasy.
He’d stood from behind his desk, tall and intimidating, and so gorgeous that her mouth had dried up. Like watching a car crash in slow motion, she’d heard herself blurting out, ‘You said that night that you don’t sleep with your sister’s friends—so what’s changed?’
Instantly she’d cringed at how she’d given herself away so spectacularly, proving that she remembered every word he’d said.
Tiarnan had come around the desk slowly, to stand lethally close. His eyes so blue it had nearly hurt to look at him.
‘Everything. You’re no longer an innocent eighteen-year-old. You’ve matured into a beautiful woman and the boundaries I would have respected before around your friendship with my sister have changed too. She’s married, getting on with her own life … Don’t you want to do the same, Kate? Haven’t you always wondered what it would be like?’
Hurt lanced her at his uncanny ability to strike at the very heart of her most vulnerable self. And the fact that what he said underlined the biggest understatement of her life had rankled unbearably.
‘So I’m good enough to take to bed now, just to satisfy your curiosity, Tiarnan? From what I recall there were two of us in the room that night, and there was a significant amount of time before you called a halt to proceedings. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think I do want to give you the satisfaction of filling a void in your memory.’
And right at that moment Kate had felt as if she really did have the strength to walk away. The pain of his rejection was vivid all over again—right up until Tiarnan had hauled her into his chest, captured her close and kissed her, turning her world upside down and all her lofty intentions into dust. Desire had quickly burnt away any remaining paltry resistance.
He’d pulled back finally, when she’d been pliant and dazed in his arms, and said mockingly, ‘What about giving yourself the satisfaction, Kate? Can you be honest enough with yourself to do that?’
Shockingly aware of his arousal, and knowing with an awful sense of futility that she didn’t have the strength to walk away, she’d just said shakily, ‘If we do this, Tiarnan, it’s going to be on my terms. This affair ends when the holiday ends …’
‘Katie? Are you there? Did you hear me?’
Kate came back from the memory of the bone-shattering intensity of that kiss. ‘I heard you, Sorch. I know what I’m doing.’
She just hoped she sounded convincing.
‘Katie, you know Tiarnan almost as well as me. He’s always been adamant that he’s not going to settle down again. And I just don’t want—’
‘Sorcha.’ Kate cut her off before she could go any further. ‘Look, I know what to expect. I’m going into this with my eyes wide open. Please just trust me. It’s something we both need to … get closure on.’ She winced at how trite that sounded, even though they were exactly the words she’d used to rationalise all this to herself only hours before.
Kate heard a baby’s mewl in the background.
‘You’d better go, Sorch. Molly sounds like she’s waking up.’
Sorcha finally got off the phone, grumbling about the fact that she should have noticed that there’d been more to the tension between Kate and Tiarnan over the years than mutual antipathy.
Kate sat looking into space for a long moment. She knew that she couldn’t turn away from this now. She knew that this was the only likely way to even begin getting over Tiarnan properly. But she was very afraid that Sorcha was right: that as distant as she planned to keep herself from emotional involvement with Tiarnan, she was already fighting a losing battle …
CHAPTER FIVE
THE following day Kate followed Tiarnan across the tarmac of the airport in Madrid to his private jet. He was hand-in-hand with a still serious-looking Rosie. As he’d said, Rosie had welcomed the news that Kate was coming with them—much to Kate’s relief—but she still couldn’t quite figure out the tension between father and daughter. Tiarnan looked back at her in that moment, making Kate’s breath catch in her throat. He was wearing jeans and a plain polo shirt which made him look astoundingly gorgeous.
‘We’re flying to New York. I’m leaving my plane there and we’ll be taking a smaller plane down to Martinique.’
Kate just nodded and forced a smile. What she also knew was that, far from just leaving his plane in New York, he was leaving it to be used by the philanthropic organisation he’d set up, which covered a multitude of charities he chaired or had set up. It was a very public move he’d made some years ago, to try and discourage the unnecessary use of private aircraft. Kate also knew he took commercial flights wherever possible.
She cursed him under her breath, her eyes drawn with dismaying inevitability to the perfection of his tautly muscled behind in the snug and faded jeans. The man was practically a saint, which made it so much harder to keep herself distanced. But from now on that was what she had to be—distanced. She was a woman of the world, sophisticated and experienced. Not shy, gauche Kate who quivered inwardly at the thought of what lay ahead.
Once they were settled onto the plane and it had taken off, Kate was relieved to see Tiarnan take out some paperwork. She and Rosie set up a card game at the other end of the plane. They were served a delicious lunch, after which Kate and Rosie had exhausted all the card games they knew—so Rosie started reading and Kate went back to her seat to try and get some sleep.
Tiarnan glanced over at her and Kate noticed that he looked tired. Her heart clenched, and she had the bizarre desire to go over and sweep away all his paperwork and force him to relax. Her cheeks warmed guiltily when she thought of how she’d like to make him relax. Already that precious distance was disappearing into the dust.
His head